Real talk, I scare myself sometimes which is why I really need to stop isolating myself away from everyone. I feel as if I'm becoming numb and insensitive to pain and grief. I catch myself getting emotional like... ever got some news or had someone tell you something that hit your heart so hard that you're in shock and you want to cry but you just stop yourself and literally hold your emotions back. It's like being stuck. I want to cry but I cant. It's that shock jolted my emotions and I've bottled them up to the point where I'm numb emotionally. Numb. I cant feel shyt right now.
this is an awful feeling that I want to get away because I know that this is not me. Has all the years of sadness, madness, depression, anxiety, stress, isolation, alienation and etc turned me cold or have I always been this way? I dont know. shyt is fukked up. I dont feel good. i feel sick.