Being a Sagittarius is hard work. When I discover something unique about myself, with a little digging I find it's a characteristic of my sun sign. I've felt off balance and spread thin recently. My 3rd eye is currently highly sensitive and active too. I'm really seeing people's souls and spirits. I met two people I clicked with immediately. I hugged one within a half hour of knowing them. I had to hug her, so I asked, and she hugged me. It was a great hug. Very meaningful and genuine. I'm glad I asked. I met an Aquarius and he's creative in a practical way, impatient, also forceful about implementing plans. I like those traits together. They both inspired me and I'd like to develop those relationships.
I find Aquarius fascinating. They have hella ideas and they're rooted in practicality. I have hella idea and my plan is to just believe in them, lol, they work for me, sometimes. I'm trying to build connections with my heart but its hard. I don't like being that honest with people. This is going to sound terrible, but I don't like being lied to although I lie all the time. My lies are not told with the intention to mislead anyone. I lie to make sure things go as planned. I think other people lie to take advantage of other people.
I'm always busy and tired. I find all people excluding one to be annoying. People ask me if I'm annoyed and I'll say no. I'm always annoyed because everybody is annoying. People ask me if I have time to help. I don't have enough time to do laundry and sleep, but I say yeah I'm free. I take a lot of L's so other people win. If people knew what I put myself through for them they'd never ask me for help or appreciate my time. Or understand why I go into a homicidal rage when shyt doesn't go my way.
I give everything I got to things I believe in and I don't do shyt I don't believe in. I give everything my all and that leaves little of myself for myself. I took a massive L and I'm broke for like a month. It fukking sucks, I'm pretending I'm good, but I'm hurting. I'm not starving or anything, but man, that L hurt my pockets. I could finesse my way into getting what I need or I could ask. I don't want to be manipulative and I don't ask for help. So we're just going to do without some shyt.
I'm exhausted and people keep asking me for shyt. It's a little annoying because I don't ever ask for anything so I don't understand why people are comfortable asking me for shyt. Idunno why I help people I don't like. I hate to see people hurting, even if I want to hurt them. I want to kill people, but I don't want them to die. LOL I know how it sounds. I'm sensitive so when I'm in feelings, I want them to die, but if they actually died I would feel terrible about it.
There was this kid who I hated my whole life. I wanted to beat his ass for years. He died one day and I felt so bad. I never had a good thought about him. I don't feel guilty for wanting to fukk him up, I feel bad that he doesn't get to live and he experienced severe pain.
I'm in a lot of pain. So much pain it puts me to sleep and wakes me up. The next 3 weeks are going to be hella busy too. I was already exhausted, I was hoping to catch up before this point but I got stretched thin, and now I'm going to be stretched even thinner. And I'm not living right, currently.
I need some time for myself.
S'all good that's why I smoke big tree. I'll be fine as long as I stay hydrated and stay high. I'm running a kitchen, a household, and I'm the man of my family. I'm also trying to build a business that's never been done before solo.
I don't complain and I don't quit. I don't understand why these bytch ass nikkas stay bytching. LMAO my homie tells me when he catches me bytching, "you bytching like a bytch over a bytch?!" LOL I get hella mad but he's right, and thats why I'm mad. The absurdity of a real nikka sweating any girl that isn't his mom, BM, or child is absurd to a real nikka. We can't compute sucka shyt, and that's some sucka shyt. We are the chosen few, fit to lead, we don't have a choice.
Why complain? Put on your pull-ups, take your drugs, and get it the fukk done. I see a lot of sucka shyt going on below me. I'd rather be in heaven suffering than in hell thriving.