Prodigy of mobb deeps death... still can't believe it.
been thinking about my own morality and everyone else's. Though out the years, Ive been holding on to anger and pain where I haven't been able to let go and that has held me back in many ways when I should be forgiving to people. I don't want to go to my grave with hate in my heart or knowing that someone out there hates me so I'm going to learn how to forgive and let go of my grudges and feuds even at some of the people who hurt me the most. It's so hard to make myself vulnerable like that. I thought about this thinking about someone who I was heated at but realized, I don't hate them at all. I love them dearly. Just disappointed because I expect better from them. I know they are a lot better than what they have displayed. I'm forgiving anyone has wronged me with my knowledge and without it.
My father's birthday is today and he's 70 years old. My father and me don't have the best father and son relationship but I do want to say despite it all. I love you dad and I don't hate you. You are who you are and that's that. I forgive you. Guess I'm actually maturing.
And I actually want to live. On the low in the past, I secretly wanted to die. Now at 30, I want to keep living but I'm willing to accept my time to go if it does happen whatever way it is. Hope everyone is okay.