I could go on and on why I disagree with this but first I'd be interested in your opinion on Druckmann's take on why this happened. Of course you don't have to agree with him, but he's gonna articulate it better than me anyway.(as I have basically the same take ).
(the vid should start right before he addresses this particular criticism)
I saw this response somewhere else it puts it nicely as well.
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On Joel's death (discussed from 15mins)... It's very hard to believe that Jackson just invites people to join them in any kind of relaxed way (regardless of a few notes trying to prove as much). What they have is extremely precious. It's exactly the kind of place that could be targeted by a group with very bad intentions. And even when genuinely good people join them surely they are thoroughly vetted and checked to make sure they haven't been bitten at least? The point being that even if Jackson has taken in lots of people, that wouldn't mean Joel has lost his skepticism when meeting strangers. Everyone in Jackson would have it drilled into them to, before anything, protect what they have built.
Amazingly, Neil makes the point that in this world anyone can die at any time to justify Joel's death. But that's exactly the problem! Joel and everyone else LIVE in this world and should be well aware of that. He was aware of it before, maybe more so than any other character. Living within protected walls for four years wouldn't make him or anyone else forget about the cruel world just outside. Surely we aren't expected to believe that in four years no one has run into any bad folk beyond the fence?!
"Joel's looking for hunters, and these people aren't hunters." Huh? How does Joel know that? These people are actually battle hardened soldiers. Does Joel judge people on how they dress now? They are just people wearing warm clothes in winter. They could be good or bad or in between. Also, Joel supposedly doesn't suspect Abby because she's a girl the same age as Ellie. Why?! Ellie has proven herself to be extremely dangerous. Ellie wears normal clothes. Nothing adds up about this. Parents don't automatically trust every kid that looks like theirs and Joel isn't stupid. Or at least he wasn't.
The most revealing thing is when Neil sums it up with "what this story needed was a brutal cruel death for everything that happens afterwards". Well, exactly. Everything else feels like rationalization for the fact that plot came before character here. Audiences are sensitive to things like that. People felt it in this scene, and I certainly felt it in other big moments where the game lost me. I enjoyed so much about the game but unfortunately some really big moments just felt fatally false. (And arguing that "we know the characters better than you" or "we spent ages working on this" is just patently silly. By that logic, any story that people work hard on is beyond criticism and if it comes across false to you, well you're just wrong.)
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This is a decent reply though