The happily married or in a relationship thread. (Positive posts only)

[agnosticlady]

For us it was dealing with family. Most of our problems early on came from outside of our relationship. My mom throwing sliders, her mom getting into her head and convincing her to be mad at me. My dad and her grandma almost came to blows over an argument about absolutely nothing. Her mom pulled a knife on me the day before our wedding.

We had to learn to not let their bullshyt effect our household. Honestly we are still learning, now our parents like to give us a hard time about who gets the kids and when.

So in a marriage you have to learn to fully support each other unconditionally and put a wall up against bullshyt people will undoubtedly try to throw into your relationship.

 

[Remote]

Congrats breh

 

[twan83]

For all the married brehs. What would y'all say the hardest thing about marriage is, and what could y'all have as done a couple to maybe circumvent the problem?

Sometimes whether is ur in laws or ur own family members u can't let them be the ones that can divide ur marriage to cause problems when u know they wrong
U just gotta fallback and just let them be and not talk too then as much
Ur priority is ur immediate family now not them
When u have kids u sometimes or most of the times lose all that date night stuff U may wanna do with ur wifey but u gotta understand u made that choice to bring this precious Child or children in ur life now they are ur responsibility
Sure u can do it different ways like when they are sleep do dinner and a movie in living room
What most don't get getting a babysitter is not that easy cuz u don't wanna trust just anyone with ur kids
U can ask family but if they are busy it is what it is or cuz u have siblings with kids too so u looking at them doing the same thing u wanna do

What i do is when they in school that's our date night granted my 3 yr old tags along but she will be in school so that helps
But I ask family first if not we comprise a way to have our date night whether she tags along or do it at night when all the kids are sleep and do it in living room and bedroom

 

[CaughtInTWebb]

Happily married for 4 years now and I still have moments where I look at my wife and realize how lucky I am....
One of the best things to ever happen to me and she really is my best friend.....

Love my wife brehs......

 

[agnosticlady]

We were together in high school broke up and then got back together when we were 24. I'd had a pretty turbulent life prior to getting back together and even afterwards for several years. I'd say that up until these last three years I finally think that I finally have a moment to breathe now. We've been by each other' sides throughout the deaths of my parents, the divorce of hers, me obtaining my bachelor's degree while fighting potential 6 year state charge, her obtaining her masters while pregnant with our daughter, the death of our grandmothers, some other random jail time for a prior probation violation, a long bout of unemployment on my end and the list goes on. Fortunately we both have great senses of humor and are always willing to put aside our egos in the name of working things out and it's made all these roadblocks seem like mere speed bumps in retrospect. We never lost sight of what the future held for us as a unit and I think that's been the biggest piece of us making it through all this unscathed for the most part.

Awwwwww

 

[beanz]

Our 2 year anniversary is coming up at the end of this month and we have a 7 week old. We aren't the most experienced, but it's been nothing but amazing so far. I've been lucky in that I found somebody who I'm totally and completely compatible with, so there has been 0 significant fights or disagreements. The only thing that gets on my nerves about her isn't even her but her over bearing mother. Don't get me wrong I love her mom she's a nice lady but she is so opinionated about everything her daughter does and it's really annoying. I felt it more after the baby's birth since we stayed with her mom for a month. I barely got to enjoy my daughter because this lady always had an opinion about when the baby should be in the bassinet and how long she can be carried for and nonsense like that. I couldn't speak up either because my wife is a mommy's girl and was feeling very hormonal and touchy about my comfort level staying there. I told her once I wasn't comfortable and she cried so I never brought it up again.

But now we back home and I get to enjoy my baby and not have to deal with her mom everyday so it's all good.

 

[Stir Fry]

Great thread. A young breh been thinking about marriage and what not as I get older. Needed all these positive anecdotes

Needs to be stickied.

If you want to be happy, choose the right person to settle down with. I know it sounds obvious but there are too many people that get into serious relationships with the wrong person for the wrong reason. This in turn leads to a big waste of time, money, and feelings for all parties. Despite my monogamy in all of my prior relationships, my wife is the only person I've ever actually wanted to be committed to because I knew there was something special not just about her but also about us. @BmoreGorilla joined team #GMB recently, but if you look past all the jokes and what not, despite what happened he never drug her name through the mud and still sung praises of respect for her. Understand that life happens and people grow apart, what happened to him could very well happen to me or anybody else that has posted in this thread. The difference is however, that we more likely won't get took for half our shyt by our former spouse than somebody that chose for the wrong reasons in the first place.

Also, if you want to find a meaningful long term relationship, recognize that there is a big difference between having standards and being a shallow person. I can't tell if @Michael9100 is trolling or not, but I do see a lot of inner beauty and strength in the women that he posts. Many of them will be overlooked just like all the supposed "lonely, black male nerds" that post here and will in turn continue doing themselves with or without somebody and end up becoming very successful people in life. Choose a mate based on their merits and not just because they're "light skinned" My best friend is a very militant person and he's in the process of breaking up with his girlfriend of seven years. He admits that one of the big reasons he got with her was because "she was light skinned with ass and titties." Just like him, too many people have fallen for the okee doke, and gotten themselves into a bad relationships with nobody to blame but themselves at the end of the day. The whole light vs dark battle has produced some funny material over the years, but it is not conducive to creating success. Get over that shyt, like I said earlier, relationships aren't a fashion show. Once you go home with that person, it's their personality and character that you'll be stuck with on the other side of the door, not their status.

Cliffs: Choose the right person for YOU.

Just my .02

 

[ThaBronxBully]

If You Cheating On Your Wife Don't Post In Here

 

[MeachTheMonster]

shyt was crazy.

My mom wife's mom was basically bridezilla. Made everything about herself. She still held bad blood for my wife's father (who admittedly was a deadbeat). My wife announced that he'd be officiating the wedding and she lost it. Tried to jump on my wife, so I held her back. She picked up a knife and I just gave her the look. She backed off was probably never gonna do anything.

But man women's emotions are absolutely crazy. She had all this resentment cause her daughter decided to be happy. It was a learning moment for both of us, and made my wife look back to a bunch of other times when her mom tried to sabotage her happiness.

 

[Elle Driver]

shyt was crazy.

My mom wife's mom was basically bridezilla. Made everything about herself. She still held bad blood for my wife's father (who admittedly was a deadbeat). My wife announced that he'd be officiating the wedding and she lost it. Tried to jump on my wife, so I held her back. She picked up a knife and I just gave her the look. She backed off was probably never gonna do anything.

But man women's emotions are absolutely crazy. She had all this resentment cause her daughter decided to be happy. It was a learning moment for both of us, and made my wife look back to a bunch of other times when her mom tried to sabotage her happiness.

It's good you stepped in. My mom was like that too. shyt is fukked up, they be wanting to sabotage y'all happiness because they're not happy.

 

[agnosticlady]

shyt was crazy.

My mom wife's mom was basically bridezilla. Made everything about herself. She still held bad blood for my wife's father (who admittedly was a deadbeat). My wife announced that he'd be officiating the wedding and she lost it. Tried to jump on my wife, so I held her back. She picked up a knife and I just gave her the look. She backed off was probably never gonna do anything.

But man women's emotions are absolutely crazy. She had all this resentment cause her daughter decided to be happy. It was a learning moment for both of us, and made my wife look back to a bunch of other times when her mom tried to sabotage her happiness.

Wow that us freaking crazy! Weddings are beautiful, but not for me lol. I'm going straight to the courthouse. Maybe a little ceremony...maybe...

 

[PurpleRose]

3 years. I was attracted to his calm strength. All the other ingredients were there in the relationship – chemistry and intellectual compatibility. I adore his family, and my Mom treats him like a son. We never let little things avalanche into big things which has been good for us because the trust is there. 3 years isn’t a long time but we’re determined because love is an active choice. I chose him and he chose me.

What I’ve learned is that no one is the key to your happiness. Be happy and content with who you are and the love will come. No one can bear the burden of loving you and trying to get you to love yourself.

 

[1thouwow]

Been married 10 plus.

Getting a little stale.
The kids are the glue....and the sex...and her cooking.
I am weary of her personality and resentment...and insecurity. Thought she would grow out of it.
She is tired of my work hours and being a home mother...and my general apathy for her whining...er feelings.
I am intelligent and worldly...she was in awe once...but never caught up in either category. Those two traits are now irritating to her.
She dislikes my mamma and that nikka that nutted in her. I don't care for them either...but she ain't supposed to cosign.
She has developed a coping mechanism that is degenerative to a healthy communicative relationship.
She likes Empire.

but

We can laugh at other peoples problems and laugh at how sane we are, and lucky to have each other. The alternative is a shallow IG thot for me, and nikka that get his eyebrows arched in skinny jeans for her. So we make it work by talking shyt, sharing a bottle of Remy and make up smash.

what is her coping mechanism?

 

[Trillion]

man i wish yall the best im out here tryna grind and im really thinking about relocating for like the third time this year
i really wanna aspire to have a solid relationship like you guys real talk

 

[Gutzman]

been blessed with a good wife too. we met 12 years ago, we had our problems and there was a while where we werent together anymore but we came back together and then had our first daughter and got married in 2011. we both see things the same and feel teh same about everything with our kids, society, the world. we still have our problems of course, no relationship is perfect but if u really want to stay together u make it work. wish everyone else the best too.