The General Mills Chronicles.

[K-Apps]

Father Richard was like. - You dropped the body of Christ!!

Me - What? Where is Christ??

Father Richard - The bread is the body of Christ!! Please pick it up.

Me - Uh. . ok. I pick up the lil wafer thingie. . Put it in my pocket and walk back to my seat utterly confused. I remember seeing the looks on people's faces as I am walking. .

I sit down and look at my breh next to me. He is stuttering. . holy smokes General!

:deadlindros:

 

[K-Apps]

General, you are hilarious mofo man, I wish we had somebody do some of the fukkery back when I was in a K-8 Catholic school. I would've been every damn day lol

 

[B90X]

We Need More

 

[Ohms Law]

Fiending for some more

 

[beenz]

@General Mills , why did you refuse to eat the little wafer? whats the big deal?

 

[beenz]

at your homie telling you that the confessional was a fukkin' arcade

thats up there with @General Mills telling that other cat on the Naval ship about the double salute

 

[DallasTxRep]

We gotta make sure nobody jacks your stories

 

[Ashyneezz]

Me - Aiyo. . Whats up with that lil booth yall went into in church?

Jeremy - The booth?? Ohhh the booth Oh yeah. That is a arcade breh. Its for Catholics tho.

Me - ARCADE!!!! Aiyo . . They got the Ninja Turtles? They got Street Fighter 2 piff?

Jeremy - Yessssiirrrrrrrr

 

[Sugar]

So these are the infamous General Mills scrolls.... Must read during Spring Break

 

[Kenny West]

The Sonic gifs and placement of them throughout the story, . General is at it again.

He set that shyt up perfectly

 

[General Mills]

@General Mills , why did you refuse to eat the little wafer? whats the big deal?

I dunno breh. My homie told me we was getting some bread. So when I got the wafer... It felt like plastic. Later when they explained communion to me and explained that the bread signified the flesh of Christ... I def wanted no part of that!!

 

[No Sleep]

I dunno breh. My homie told me we was getting some bread. So when I got the wafer... It felt like plastic. Later when they explained communion to me and explained that the bread signified the flesh of Christ... I def wanted no part of that!!

You ain't gave us no reading material in some time now...

 

[General Mills]

You ain't gave us no reading material in some time now...

typing as we speak

 

[Regular_P]

typing as we speak

 

[General Mills]

This one took place after the Crackhead Comeuppance story. I was in my early 20's Working a good job. A Navy Vet. Nice lil car... I did the worst thing I could do at the time. Hooked up with a ratchet chick with kids. And a ratchet dog..... This story is Mary, Murphy, and Mark.


I meet this chick at a bar.. The same bar I went to with my homies Big and Eiht. She looked and smelled so gooooodddd. We ended up chilling.. Weeks later she I was cupcaked up with her and staying over every night.

Two months later I moved in... And the situation was fukked from the jump. She was cool.. It was everything else that came with it. Her kids!!!!! And the cotdam dog! They conspired along with the baby daddy to make my life a living hell.

Lots of mini stories in this. It all boiled down to this. He would get the kids every other weekend. When they would come back...... They would run me thru the ringer. Seemingly the dog was in on it too.

Mary

The girl. She was like 8. Cute kid.. Her designated task was to annoy and embarrass me and try n goad me into hitting her. She set me up one time to nice I could do nothing but laugh at getting sonned.

We are leaving the house and I tell her to turn off the light in her room.

Her - Why my nikka?

Me - I am not YOUR nikka! And it wastes energy. Do you pay the electric bill?

Her - *ignores me and stares off in deep thought.*


I forget about this convo. Weeks later she ethered me to bolivia in the mall. I met them at the mall with their mom. We are walking and she said the baby daddy just gave her the child support money for this month. After we leave the mall she has to pay the light bill. Mary pipes up..

Mary - Mom I want some candy and some new headphones. I know daddy gave you money.

Mom - Your dad gave me the child support but that money is designated each month for the light bill.

Mary - (Wheels are turning) Sooo. Each month that money goes to the light bill?

Mom - Yep

Mary - ( turns to me ) Keep your hands off my lights when we get home! You better not touch a light switch!! She is screaming this in the mall!

Me - What the heck are you talking about?? And why are you yelling?? ( A lil crowd has formed and people are pointing at me and laughing. )

Mary - My dad pays child support..Which goes to the light bill. He would not pay it if I was not here. Therefore I PAY THE LIGHT BILL AND YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH IT!!

Me -