The General Mills Chronicles.

[General Mills]

I had to link that story to my brother. He texted me back like an hour later like

”this nikka was in ohio? The nikka got shot with salt? I'm fukkin dead... Dont ever send me no shyt that funny at work no more”

That MJ Smiley!!

is fukking beautiful no homo

 

[Heretic]

Liu Kang!! Coli Gawd!


I will add another L tonight. Quick peek into this L. It is me and Pretty Boy again. We are in his hometown in Birmingham on leave. His family members sonned me.

the fukkery comes to my town

 

[General Mills]

Here we goooo! Rottweilers and Roundhouses!

Frequently if I had some time off I would go hang out with Pretty Boy and his fam in either Tampa or Birmingham. This is the story of my first trip to Birmingham. And I managed to have his whole family in a uproar.

I was driving this time cause Pretty Boys Blazer was in the shop. So we are just hitting Birmingham. . Aiyo. . .They had this highway. . I cannot remember which one but it was like 4 or 5 lanes. We just happened to get there right around rush hour.

I am in the far left lane doing about 90. My Maxima was humming along nicely. . Then I hear a honk behind me. There is a long ass line of cars behind me. . On my ass was like a old Escort.

The car was damn near touching my bumper! I look at the driver in my rear view and its a old ass lady and she is looking pissed!! Then she showed me how happy she was with me slowing up the fast lane.

I pull over to the right and she jets pass me doing at least 115. As with all the other traffic behind her. I am doing freaking 90 and I still have people behind me blowing their horns cause I am going to slow. I said fukk it.

Punched it. I am doing a lil over 100 when I get lit up.

 

[Golayitdown]

Here we goooo! Rottweilers and Roundhouses!

Frequently if I had some time off I would go hang out with Pretty Boy and his fam in either Tampa or Birmingham. This is the story of my first trip to Birmingham. And I managed to have his whole family in a uproar.

I was driving this time cause Pretty Boys Blazer was in the shop. So we are just hitting Birmingham. . Aiyo. . .They had this highway. . I cannot remember which one but it was like 4 or 5 lanes. We just happened to get there right around rush hour.

I am in the far left lane doing about 90. My Maxima was humming along nicely. . Then I hear a honk behind me. There is a long ass line of cars behind me. . On my ass was like a old Escort.

The car was damn near touching my bumper! I look at the driver in my rear view and its a old ass lady and she is looking pissed!! Then she showed me how happy she was with me slowing up the fast lane.

I pull over to the right and she jets pass me doing at least 115. As with all the other traffic behind her. I am doing freaking 90 and I still have people behind me blowing their horns cause I am going to slow. I said fukk it.

Punched it. I am doing a lil over 100 when I get lit up.

 

[General Mills]

On behalf of #TBM can we get some W stories breh

The Bretheren Movement wants a W? I have a few where I fukked up but somehow squeaked out a W.

 

[General Mills]

How tha fukk did the cop manage to pick me out of all the other cars doing over a 100? I guess it really does not matter. I just knew it was going to be expensive.

Me - Sir. Is there any way I can get the price lowered a bit? I was going over the limit but felt pressured to keep up with traffic. I am a good driver and I am in the Navy on leave right now.

BLACK Cop - I think I can help you out.

Me - Thank you officer!!

BLACK Cop - Here is an additional ticket for illegal tint. Make sure you slow down in Alabama next time and the Gators suck! Then he walks back to his car.

Me - Yelling after him! I am not from Florida! My team is Pitt! We know we suckkkkk! But he did not turn around.

 

[General Mills]

We continue on and get to his sisters house. I am looking forward to this. I want to see if I can holler at his sis. She has to be dime status! Pretty Boy was looking no homo like

We pull up to her townhouse. She comes outside and i am

She can not WAIT to meet me. She ran to the car and opened my door. :inlove: I look at pretty boy like He is I feel like Smokey.

This chick grabs my suitcase. Puts it on her shoulders and fireman carries it into the house like a pack mule. I am amazed at this chicks payload. I wonder what she benches.

As soon as we get our stuff put away Pretty Boy says he lets go visit my parents. We jump in the whip and are on our way. At his parents house I met Danger. . . .

 

[Two Stacks]

 

[TheGregReaper]

You better not leave us hangin tonight breh

 

[RJY33]

another classic cooking

 

[dennis roadman]

BLACK Cop - Here is an additional ticket for illegal tint. Make sure you slow down in Alabama next time and the Gators suck! Then he walks back to his car.

Me - Yelling after him! I am not from Florida! My team is Pitt! We know we suckkkkk! But he did not turn around.

this whole exchange

 

[Black]

I need it nikka!!!

 

[killacal]

This chick grabs my suitcase. Puts it on her shoulders and fireman carries it into the house like a pack mule. I am amazed at this chicks payload. I wonder what she benches.

nooooooo :foh::foh:

 

[General Mills]

We pull up to Pretty Boy's parents house. Pretty Boy hops out and heads across the street to say hi to a neighbor who was there. I am getting ready to get out when I notice something. . . .

I am looking at his parents front door. It is open but the screen door is closed. Inside the screen door this head took up the whole door.

The dog is not barking. . It just cocked its head to the side and stared at me like I am feeling a lil uncertain but I am ok. We are a good 60-70 yards from the front door. Plus the dog is behind a closed door. So I get out of the whip and I am standing in front my car stretching and waiting on Pretty Boy to come back so we can go into his parents house together.

The I hear one big

WOOF

It sounded Jurassic brehs. I turn around in time to see this big ass Rottie jumping THROUGH the screen! He left a huge hole in the center and he was hurtling towards me at breakneck speed.

I turn around and run!!! I did not think I had time to open my car door, get inside, close the door. All I could picture was me getting the door open and getting in and getting mauled in my drivers seat.

I turn and see a car next to me and I run up on the hood to get to the roof. . It was Pretty Boys dad's Vette. .

As I am scrambling up the hood I can feel the fiberglass buckling under my feet. I hear the big WOOF again behind me and I hear Pretty Boy yelling

DANGER!! DANGER!!! fukkkkkk! The dog has scrambled up onto the hood so I jump on the roof. ..

It was a convertible. I heard snap, crackle, pop. . Next thing I know I was upside down in the cockpit of the vette wrapped up in the convertible top. I look up and the Rottie was looking down at me licking his chops.

 

[General Mills]

You better not leave us hangin tonight breh