The Fatherhood Thread

[Amy Traphouse]

well for 1 we live in a society that tells men lies and BS about what love is...what marriage is...and what being a man is. When speaking realisticly on being a father sadly we have to first address the BS and myths. Being a dad is not like how it appears on tv......in reality u have guys dealing with child support.....Child support is a issue a lot of men have to deal with....Its the ultimate reality check because u cant just pray child support payments away.


Here's something all fathers need to focus on.....Your kid is watching everything u do.....even your bad habits and they will hold onto those images for years. You have to watch how u act around ya kid.....its like being around a new girl only u have to have ya game face on 24 /7 because your kid will remember your contradictions and flaws. The other day my son brought up how I let him watch Scarface at 10 and how I allow him to play Saints Row and Grand Theft Auto and that it wasnt good. I then explained to him that I watched R rated movies and played violent games when i was his age and didnt see anything wrong with it as long as I acknowledge the situation and moniter his activities......But the fact that he said it like that kinda made me check myself.....am I wrong for allowing him to play violent video games and watching supervised R Rated movies? My moms threw away my NWA tapes but didnt say anything when that girl pulled out 3 tittys in the movie Total Recall. I remember being in the 7th Grade and the teachers allowing us to watch Boyz N The Hood and Lethal Weapon so whats the difference? ......These are questions i'm currently asking myself. One thing I am strict on is profanity in music....yet sometimes im a hypocrite because 1) i play it when i'm in my zone and he's around and 2) when trying to put my son onto classic hip hop albums from the 90's I allow him to listen to the curses.....This is the biggest conflict i'm dealing with right now as a parent.

This post reeks of insufficent daddying smh.

 

[beenz]

First things first; you gotta forget about being selfish. There will be no more "me" time. Everything, I mean everything revolves around the baby. Especially when they are young. It gets a lil bit easier as they get older.

Don't have kids young. Because you are not gonna be able to live that young life anymore. Choose your partner wisely because if you are both immature it's gonna be a clusterfukk.

So if your mature and have a good partner having kids is one of the most amazing things in the world. To watch what you have helped bring into this world be a reflection of your love. The more you love and teach that child the more amazing your own life becomes. Do what you know is right, because you are their prime example of how to live.

Lastly, love them, nurture them, hug them, kiss them, protect them, talk to them, and listen to them. Be the man that your daughter will look for when she's looking for her husband. Be the blueprint your son will use to also become a man.

real talk there. I get a couple hours to myself every day. but thats cuz I'm the night owl of the house and everyone else is in bed by 9:30 ish. that being said, we have to turn down plenty of offers to do stuff, cuz like my sister and her husband got no kids, and most of the other folks we know our age that are married/engaged got no kids and they always tryin to do some shyt where kids can't go. shyt will change in a few years cuz I'll be able to leave mines at home by themselves while they will be struggling with newborns then.

 

[Steve Piffler]

Do your sons post here?

How do they feel about their dad discussing pawgs, biting nas booty like a peach, sharing girls and buffaque wings all day?

 

[Steve Piffler]

real talk there. I get a couple hours to myself every day. but thats cuz I'm the night owl of the house and everyone else is in bed by 9:30 ish. that being said, we have to turn down plenty of offers to do stuff, cuz like my sister and her husband got no kids, and most of the other folks we know our age that are married/engaged got no kids and they always tryin to do some shyt where kids can't go. shyt will change in a few years cuz I'll be able to leave mines at home by themselves while they will be struggling with newborns then.

i'm there right now. i'm able to say "aaight, i'll be back..." and walk out the door. nothing better...

 

[Lakers Offseason]

Be involved in your kid's life breh. Especially when they're young and still living with you. I ask my son everyday how school went and ask specific stuff on what he's learning. Make sure he's learning what he's supposed to. I play video games with him, play sports, take him fishing, but also he's gotta know you're his father not just his buddy. I don't like yelling at him or giving him a good whip in the butt, but if he needs it, he gets it.

 

[Listen]

Let me help break down the stages a man goes through with becoming a dad (Assuming it's with his wife/love of his life)

Pregnancy -

Not really stressing too much. Life as usual, wife's just going through some shyt herself that you can't understand, baby shyt is MONTHS and months away, easy to get pissy with the wife's incessant panic about preparation/nesting.

Labor -

fukking traumatic. If your in the room, the screams, needles, blood and smells are shyt you'll never forget. There isn't a damn thing plesant about this stage.

Birth -

Panic attack/Passout/Overwhelmed combined. My first son, they took him out, laid him on my wife's stomach and cleared his mouth so he could breath and he turned his head, looked straight at me and took his first breath. Tingles all over, rush to the head, had to sit, grab a cup of apple juice and breathe into my hands for 10 minutes after witnessing that shyt.

1st Night home from the Hospital -

When that baby won't stop shytting and crying, you wil get the sudden, and incredibly stomach churning realization that their is a stranger in your house, and their NEVER LEAVING.

The first two weeks:

Give it about 1-5 days home and you will have your first ever emotional breakdown. You'll never, EVER predict what will trigger it either. Mine was coming home from work, 3rd day home and seeing my wife on the edge of the couch with my son in her arms, and my mother in law sitting ON THE ARM of the SAME SIDE of the couch hovering over the two of them....no one else in the house.

I made like I forgot something in my car, went out and broke the fukk down like a 4 year old in my car for 15 minutes.

Everything After -

Life.


Kids will change you. If you love your kids and their mother, it will change you for the better in every way possible. Sure, you'll get points where your single boys are all out at some function or at the big game and your sitting their wishing ti could go back like it used to be when you did whatever the fukk you wanted whenever the fukk you felt like it, but all it takes is for your wife and kid to go and visit her family for a week....

After that initial jump of excitement and a first night out with the fellas, your second night out with the boys, you'll be looking at these hoes and realizing what you have at home is what you always wanted.

3 days in you'll be sitting on your couch at 2 pm on a Saturday in your underwear watching History Channel International, bored as fukk...in a quiet, QUIET house, and you'll realize you can never truly go back.

 

[Rekkapryde]

Good stuff. For me theres really no better feeling then when your son asks you a question, you give the answer and you can tell from their reaction they understand.

 

[Amy Traphouse]

I like to see fathers creating a strong relationship with their daughters. Learn how to nurture and care for them instead of throwing your hands up and saying "Let your mom handle it". Especially if you have a son she's watching and listening when you say "She can't come cuz she's a girl, this is man stuff" and you're showing more attention to her brother(s).

Learn how to do her hair, take her to do things she might enjoy, create new interests that you both share, and eventually she'll see you not only as her father but her dad she can come to with issues that you may be able to help her with on a one on one basis.

Give her legit game about relationships and set the foundation of the type of man you want her to date later on by setting a good example. If she goes astray at least you know as a parent you tried

Thats all i have for now. Although 99.992% of men would love to have a team of boys, you'd have some knowledge for when your lil princess comes.

 

[Schmoove]

Wow man.

I'm sitting here looking back at my childhood like

 

[SuburbanPimp]

I won't get too much into the parenting side. If you are good person, you will more than like be a good parent and vice versa.

One piece of advice I would give all fathers and especially those that aren't with the baby's mother is......

GET A SIDE HUSTLE, preferably legal.

I'm talking Cutting hair, Mowing lawns, Fixing Cars, Flipping Phones or Shoes, Burning and Selling Cd & Movies I don't care what it is but you need to have something on the side for that tax free money.

Uncle Sam gonna be in your pocket for 18 years, No getting around it.

But having something on top of your job or primary income will cushion the blow.

Trust me, I'm speaking from experience here

 

[smokeurobinson]

This post reeks of insufficent daddying smh.

Stay the fukk outta my coneversation if u dont know me.....I'm a single dad....My son lives in a house thats paid for and has his own room. B- student who's going to a basketball camp this summer. I do this sh*t alone and will be damned if some nobody on the internet dares challenge my position as a father. I shared with you my flaws as a parent and u offered nothing in return which says alot about U.....Instead of saying dumb sh*t....get to know me, elaborate or offer some sound advice...otherwsie shut the fukk up!

 

[Schmoove]

This post reeks of insufficent daddying smh.

C'mon now.

 

[-G$-]

I like to see fathers creating a strong relationship with their daughters.

when i found out my wife was having a girl i was a combination of nervous about being able to establish that bond/disappointed we weren't having a boy. but i can honestly say the first year+ of raising my daughter has been the most incredible experience i've ever gone through and i wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. that's my ace.

 

[Amy Traphouse]

Stay the fukk outta my coneversation if u dont know me.....I'm a single dad....My son lives in a house thats paid for and has his own room. B- student who's going to a basketball camp this summer. I do this sh*t alone and will be damned if some nobody on the internet dares challenge my position as a father. I shared with you my flaws as a parent and u offered nothing in return which says alot about U.....Instead of saying dumb sh*t....get to know me, elaborate or offer some sound advice...otherwsie shut the fukk up!

Get out your emotions, i'm talking about a lack of father figure on your end. First paragraph only talks about what society or tv tells you in regards to how to live your life, relationships, and parenting with no mention of any advice from dad. Then you bring up child support

So yea my assumption wasn't snatched out the air...thats what i gathered from your post. You're a single dad and you take care of your kid, good for you, i'll make sure I send you a basket of fresh baked cookies next Sunday.

 

[Steve Piffler]

i want a baby girl so bad...

but i don't want anymore kids, so