That time you SHOULD'VE got arrested...

[Ronnie Lott]

.......one day im cruisin...system bumbin ...jus got off a peice of ass (that dam I'm good feeling). Going on my 4th tall can of beer (24oz)...big ass beer can sitting in middle console, fat dub of that loud in my pocket ...roll up on blocked off section of traffic due to accident/ incident ...a few cops on the scene directing traffic....cute female cop pointing to the lane I need to take...I'm so fukked up (and dripping swagger) I'm too busy trying to peep how much ass she got and went the opposite direction....drive directly through yellow DO NOT CROSS tape...tape wraps around my windshield , pulling cones down.....male cop runs over screaming "YOU!! YOU!!! Pullover right NOW!!!"

He walks up to my car says "WTF is your problem buddy ?!!"...I'm all "no problem here sir, I'm sorry sir, I didn't notice sir, the glare of the sun, I'm exhausted I just got off 14hr shift sir, was at choir rehearsal all night last night, coach little league as well blah blah"

Long story short the whole time this cop didn't even notice the HUGE open 24oz beer can sitting right next to me..Wrote me a seatbelt ticket and said "now get the fukk outta here"...




Thank God for lazy police officers




You think after getting away with that I went straight home??












Laaaid baaack ...wit my mind on my money and my money on my mind

 

[CouldntBeMeTho]

No details til the statute of limitations is up

 

[Motife43]

man, driving back home fukked up. speeding like crazy so I can get home to get bed. I was only like 3 blocks from my house. got pulled over. officer was like in regards to my speeding. dude checks my license/insurance/registration. everything is clean as hell. he knew I was fukked up. told me to get in the back of the police car

no cuffs. he then has his partner hop in my whip. they drive me back to the crib, and leave my car out in the front of my house

after they bounced, I of course move my car to the garage

That shyt is crazy. Good guy cops

 

[Buckeye Fever]

2 incidents:

1st one was 2007. I was comin from the club, drunk, and there was a police check point The female officer asked for my Ls, registration & insurance. I didnt open my mouth once. I was like "mmm hmm" whenever she asked a question.

2nd time, I was bumpin my music loud as hell. Police pulled me over, searched my car, then searched me. He went in my pocket and was like "what are these?" I was like "those are keys. Ya know....to make the car go". He twisted my arm and said "If you wanna be a smart ass, I could say somethin about the open container of alcohol in your glove box". I didnt say another word, all i did was look like

 

[Vandelay]

when I was 20, I linked up with someone who sold a good bit of work time to time.

He used to drive around and cop work and serve people, nothing really major but it was enough that you could get put away for a dub or more. He had everything in a little duffle, coke, weed, heron, pills you name it. He had his license suspended so me being the impressionable but procrastinating youth I was offered up giving him rides around to cop work and serve people.

I have a bit of a lead foot and tend to run lights. Well being the procrastinator I was I happened to run a light with expired registration.

Immediately, I got pulled over with my oldhead in the whip, with a fresh brick.

I'm a college educated bro, so I know how to code switch and talk proper when necessary. So I turned on my cornball brotha voice and proceeded to explain myself.


I live in Philly and generally cops have better shyt to be doing rather than pulling red light runners over. I immediately told him what I did wrong, city cops like that shyt when you concede wrong doing. "Officer, I apologize...my breaks are overdue to be changed and I didn't want to stop abruptly at the light."

I got out of the ticket. My OG said something however that got me out of my short flirtation with the game. He laughed and joked a lot and generally was a fukking goofball, but he said "jokingly", if we got the car searched, that the duffle bag was "mine".

I don't even play those type of games...

 

[aaaaaaa]

fukked a girl in the woods behind a park while a little league baseball game was going on.

couple of the moms sitting on the grass saw us and moved away and some old dude passed by on the trail while I was balls deep

Coolest motherfukker I ever saw man. didnt even break stride.

 

[beenz]

I was brought into the CID (criminal investigation dept) interrogation room on a military post once for drug parapharnelia and dirty piss.

Them army detectives ain like regular cops. They swear up and down they're on TV lol. Ol law and order SVU ass nikkaz. Mfers interrogating me about a gott dam sack of weed. They had notepads out asking me street addresses and the exact name of the mfer I bought it from. I told em it was a chik, last name Tullz, first name Jenna

But before the "interrogation" they made me empty my pockets on the table, all I had was my wallet, keys, cigarettes and some skittles.

Long story short after they received all that "vital information" they let me grab my shyt off the table and leave.

I get in the car and decide I'd eat the rest of them skittles before I fire up a cig. Tryin to dump some in my hand out falls a big ass dub sack. I forgot (weedhead) I had stashed it in there and them stupid CID mfers were too incompetent to check it on the table.

I got high than a mfer that night!

I ain't NEVER heard that one before :deadbean:

 

[Towlie]

picked my girlfriend up from columbus (she had just returned from Ethiopia)

got pulled over while i was feelin her up doing 85 in a 65

found out my license was suspended in ohio, but the cop made us leave the car and drove us to a meijer...i towed the car to the next exit and took the back roads the rest of the way


also on saturday went through mcdonalds drive thru backwards, drunk. my boy told me the next day that there was a cop car in the parking lot

car has been searched many times after a session (including at the canadian border) they searched the car because they smelled the weed and found a bb gun in the glove. Cuffed us, strip searched us, sat us in a cell, then sent us back to the U.S

 

[MR. SNIFLES]

I ain't NEVER heard that one before :deadbean:

I USE JIM SHOEMACHER.

RICHARD HEAD TOO.

 

[Silkk]

Maaaaaaaan

 

[Ricky Church]

@Marcozen Jenna Tullz breh!? forreal!?

 

[Marco Zen]

@Marcozen Jenna Tullz breh!? forreal!?

CID: (writing everything down) "where'd you say you bought it from again, you said Elm street right?"

Me: " whatever you wrote that's it"


CID: " And we're gonna need this woman's full name for our records"


Me: ""

 

[☑︎#VoteDemocrat]

This thread is so

We've all been there brehs

 

[Action Jackson]

A few months ago I broke into a dorm drunk as hell at 6:30 in the morning and woke up 4 nerds to the ass beating of their life. They called the cops so during my great escape I got in my truck and ran over a bunch of bushes on campus then was passing cars going 70 in town.

 

[Marco Zen]

A few months ago I broke into a dorm drunk as hell at 6:30 in the morning and woke up 4 nerds to the ass beating of their life. They called the cops so during my great escape I got in my truck and ran over a bunch of bushes on campus then was passing cars going 70 in town.