That time you SHOULD'VE got arrested...

[aaaaaaa]

-The millions of blunts I've smoked out walking in public or in a car. Always see cops when I'm out. I hope that never changes (the not getting arrested part).

-In high school, a bunch of us would take this cut that led down a hill by an apartment building, and at the bottom of the hill was the parking lot. There was always a white car right at the bottom and for some reason ALL OF US would be frog splashing on the hood of that shyt. Everyday for at least weeks...Until one day we were Swanton Bombin' all over that car and 3 guys run out of the apt with bats i was GONE. shyt was hilarity.

-Met this chick and somehow had her trickin out of a seedy motel for a week .
weird time in my life

how'd u find the clients. also what were u charging?

 

[aaaaaaa]

that time i was making out with a chick at a bar and a couple eeks later i found out she was actually oonly 16

 

[Neil Tyson]

I slept with this asian chick in her dorm room and she was kinda resisting saying no and pushing me off but I blew her back out anyway. I went home fretting thought I raped this chick.

She called, I asked her if she wants to come over and see a movie and she says yes. Smashed again and took a picture so that she can't bring shyt to court if she chose to do so.

 

[No Homo]

My boy copped a crib in Pittsburgh so we went to visit him. We coming from the club bout to go chill with some chics we bagged so we following them and my other boys and me and my other boy in his. Im driving cause he is more drunk than me and his license suspended.
We smoking talking just catching up and shyt and i blew through a light cause im following them and a cop pulls me over.. He camr outta no where .. My boy had a .45 on him, we got some more weed in the car and open bottle from drinking before we went to the club.
We both think we spending the wknd in jail.
I gave cop my license he sees its an ny state license. then sees my people in the car in front of us stop also. He goes youre not from here are you? Im like no im not, im out here visiting friends. Then he says were you following that car?

I said yes i didn't want to get held up at the light and get lost. He gives me back my license, tells me be careful and enjoy my stay in Pittsburgh

 

[Pinyapplesuckas]

how'd u find the clients. also what were u charging?

Called up the homies

And she found people like she found us. She pretty much walked up to me looking for drugs. I thought it was a setup because she didn't look like a drug addict

 

[Marco Zen]

I slept with this asian chick in her dorm room and she was kinda resisting saying no and pushing me off but I blew her back out anyway. I went home fretting thought I raped this chick.

She called, I asked her if she wants to come over and see a movie and she says yes. Smashed again and took a picture so that she can't bring shyt to court if she chose to do so.

When no means yes

 

[swimmingpools]

Chik I used to date/live with was having a melt down threatening to kill me over my side bytch.

I was like whenever you ready make a move

(Threats of violence, in fear of bodily harm = misdemeanor domestic disturbance)

Wow she lost.

I dont recall ever having one, but some of you definitely had lady luck on your side.

 

[Kill Dat Noize]

This was awhile ago I was like 18-19... I smoked a joint in the car ride home from a friend's house and like 5 minutes away from the crib I got pulled over by a cop for creepin too fast on a stop sign. It was literally like 3AM and there wasn't a car in sight so these nikkas were obviously camped out waitin for someone to blow the sign. It was a side street too so of course I'm not gonna make a full fukkin stop it was fukkin 3 in the morning.

I was high as fukk and my car STUNKKKK.

Dude hops out the car with his partner and asked for my license and registration. There's no doubt in my mind he got a whiff of the inside. He didn't say a word... just took my license and the 2 of em headed back to their car.

Muthafukkas had me waitin for a few minutes. I'm just lookin at them through my rearview tryna get an idea for what these nikkas about to unleash. I'm thinkin they're gonna give me like 100 tickets... ask me to step out the car... put me in cuffs... all that shyt. I was a lil shook I can't lie.

Then out of nowhere he starts blasting his siren and pulls up next to me. His partner rolls down his window, hands me back my license, says "We have to leave now"... and the 2 of them speed away.



To this day I have no idea what happened. I'm assuming something must have happened close by and they were the ones that got the call. But whatever it was it was obviously more important to them then whatever the fukk it was they had planned for MY dumb ass.

I was like .

 

[Marco Zen]

This was awhile ago I was like 18-19... I smoked a joint in the car ride home from a friend's house and like 5 minutes away from the crib I got pulled over by a cop for creepin too fast on a stop sign. It was literally like 3AM and there wasn't a car in sight so these nikkas were obviously camped out waitin for someone to blow the sign. It was a side street too so of course I'm not gonna make a full fukkin stop it was fukkin 3 in the morning.

I was high as fukk and my car STUNKKKK.

Dude hops out the car with his partner and asked for my license and registration. There's no doubt in my mind he got a whiff of the inside. He didn't say a word... just took my license and the 2 of em headed back to their car.

Muthafukkas had me waitin for a few minutes. I'm just lookin at them through my rearview tryna get an idea for what these nikkas about to unleash. I'm thinkin they're gonna give me like 100 tickets... ask me to step out the car... put me in cuffs... all that shyt. I was a lil shook I can't lie.

Then out of nowhere he starts blasting his siren and pulls up next to me. His partner rolls down his window, hands me back my license, says "We have to leave now"... and the 2 of them speed away.



To this day I have no idea what happened. I'm assuming something must have happened close by and they were the ones that got the call. But whatever it was it was obviously more important to them then whatever the fukk it was they had planned for MY dumb ass.

I was like .

God

 

[Ricky Church]

I got some real gutta type stories, but I'm not tryna snitch on myself, so I'll tell ya'll the mild ones.

driving back home from my homie's GF's B-Day party in Garfield to Jersey City on Thanksgiving Eve.
I was fukked up something nasty due to Colombians making me drink "Agua De Gente" all night.
I left cause the party was basically over and I wasn't tryna go to my other homie's crib and continue drinking, I wasn't tryna sleep in his GF's restaurant either.

I get in the backseat to try to catch a quick nap and sober up a lil bit, but it wasn't happening. it was November and cold as fukk outside, this is when I had my first car, a 93' Corolla and the heat ain't work.
I decide I'll man up and just drive home, I'm driving down the highway with no one on the road at 4AM and all of a sudden the fukkin' car broke down right on the side of the highway. shyt would not start back up.
all of a sudden I see flashing lights in my rearview... right there I knew I was going to jail cause I knew I was over the limit and I could barely stand.

my dumb-ass, was clearly crazy though, cause I immediately hop out the car and start stumbling back towards the cop car, why I got out the car I still don't know.
cop gets on the intercom and tells me to freeze, and slowly get back in the car and put my hands on the window.
when he came to the window he was asking me all these questions, where I'm going, where I'm coming from, what I been doing...etc...

I told him what was up and luckily it was freezing cold snowy outside so he was kinda a distance back from the car otherwise he woulda smelled the alcohol on me something serious. he went back to the cruiser and called a tow-truck and told me to have a nice Holiday.

tow truck driver got there and could tell right off the bat I was drunk as hell. he even said the cop cut me a break and let me go.
he flatbed' my car all the way home, when he pulled the car off the bed he tried starting it and it started right up. I was mad as hell I had to come up offa $120 for a tow, when the damn thing finally started again. found out later the alternator was fukked up.

 

[Marco Zen]

I got some real gutta type stories, but I'm not tryna snitch on myself, so I'll tell ya'll the mild ones.

driving back home from my homie's GF's B-Day party in Garfield to Jersey City on Thanksgiving Eve.
I was fukked up something nasty due to Colombians making me drink "Agua De Gente" all night.
I left cause the party was basically over and I wasn't tryna go to my other homie's crib and continue drinking, I wasn't tryna sleep in his GF's restaurant either.

I get in the backseat to try to catch a quick nap and sober up a lil bit, but it wasn't happening. it was November and cold as fukk outside, this is when I had my first car, a 93' Corolla and the heat ain't work.
I decide I'll man up and just drive home, I'm driving down the highway with no one on the road at 4AM and all of a sudden the fukkin' car broke down right on the side of the highway. shyt would not start back up.
all of a sudden I see flashing lights in my rearview... right there I knew I was going to jail cause I knew I was over the limit and I could barely stand.

my dumb-ass, was clearly crazy though, cause I immediately hop out the car and start stumbling back towards the cop car, why I got out the car I still don't know.
cop gets on the intercom and tells me to freeze, and slowly get back in the car and put my hands on the window.
when he came to the window he was asking me all these questions, where I'm going, where I'm coming from, what I been doing...etc...

I told him what was up and luckily it was freezing cold snowy outside so he was kinda a distance back from the car otherwise he woulda smelled the alcohol on me something serious. he went back to the cruiser and called a tow-truck and told me to have a nice Holiday.

tow truck driver got there and could tell right off the bat I was drunk as hell. he even said the cop cut me a break and let me go.
he flatbed' my car all the way home, when he pulled the car off the bed he tried starting it and it started right up. I was mad as hell I had to come up offa $120 for a tow, when the damn thing finally started again. found out later the alternator was fukked up.

Lazy ass cops

 

[Ricky Church]

Lazy ass cops

yo as much as I hate cops, there's been some that's been cool as fukk to me in situations where I shoulda got more than I deserved.

 

[Marco Zen]

I was brought into the CID (criminal investigation dept) interrogation room on a military post once for drug parapharnelia and dirty piss.

Them army detectives ain like regular cops. They swear up and down they're on TV lol. Ol law and order SVU ass nikkaz. Mfers interrogating me about a gott dam sack of weed. They had notepads out asking me street addresses and the exact name of the mfer I bought it from. I told em it was a chik, last name Tullz, first name Jenna

But before the "interrogation" they made me empty my pockets on the table, all I had was my wallet, keys, cigarettes and some skittles.

Long story short after they received all that "vital information" they let me grab my shyt off the table and leave.

I get in the car and decide I'd eat the rest of them skittles before I fire up a cig. Tryin to dump some in my hand out falls a big ass dub sack. I forgot (weedhead) I had stashed it in there and them stupid CID mfers were too incompetent to check it on the table.

I got high than a mfer that night!

 

[PullOutGawd]

Been driving 3 years with no insurance
Always driving whatever bytch I'm with's whip

Probably seen the lights flash behind me bout 5 times
Never pulled over, got into them chases

Always made it home safe

 

[Marco Zen]

yo as much as I hate cops, there's been some that's been cool as fukk to me in situations where I shoulda got more than I deserved.

You ain lyin!

I done hit a few with that "from man to man" shyt while ridin dirty as fukk and they're like "just take your dumb ass home"