Suicide Squad Goals aka #AllReviewsMatter
'The only DC we shall henceforth acknowledge will be Washington'
The ghost of Joseph Ducreux
I could write extensively about all the things that are wrong with Suicide Squad, and I could put the blame on a whole bunch of people. But I'm just tired. Not because it's 3AM, but because I just don't get it anymore. I get how everything continues to go wrong at WB (and I like to be clear the continuous failure of the DC comic book movies is a WB problem, not a DC problem), I just don't get why? Why is there seriously no one who can get them to get their shyt together? I could deal with BvS being as mediocre as it was because I knew Snyder doesn't have the juice, and it didn't change my anticipation of Suicide Squad one bit. The failure of Suicide Squad is enough to kill my faith in the DCU completely, and I probably can't even watch the excellent Wonder Woman trailer anymore without wondering if behind all that great looking stuff there's a bunch of panicky studio heads fukking the whole thing up.
But that's a matter for the future, and in the present we have to deal with the mess that is Suicide Squad. Somewhere in there, like BvS, is a good movie. Although it never feels like this was ever a good movie, merely a collection of fragments that remind you that you could probably make a good movie based on this material, given enough time to fine tune it. It's a movie based around a team that never ever feels like a team, outside of the main four (Deadshot, Harley, Rick Flag and Diablo) the other characters just seem randomly picked and never really gel. There's a particularly telling scene towards the end where the villain puts them all in a trance living out their fantasy, and it literally shows only the fantasies of the four I mentioned because the other characters are so completely void of history or motivation that they have none, and apparently they didn't bother to make anything up for that moment either.
Speaking of the villain(s), I didn't think they were too bad but it's pretty laughable how they were defeated, and their motivation is so generic and iffy it almost rivals how shytty Doom's motivation was in that last awful FF movie. The designs of them and their henchmen were pretty shyt as well, murky as fukk and one of the movie's biggest action scenes is just a barrage of these cheap looking foes getting gunned down repeatedly. The hundreds of foreign soldiers gunned down by Stallone and Schwarzenegger in the 80s stand out more than these guys, holy fukk.
Matter of fact, nothing just stands out. You kinda want to embrace Jared Leto's Joker but he's just there. He has no dialogue that hits and never really does anything out of the ordinary that sets him apart. In fact, Leto's commitment is probably the only thing preventing it from being the flattest characterization of the Joker I've ever seen in any medium. You can taste it right from the start too, this is the (re)introduction of one of DC's biggest villains and they just throw him out there in one of the opening scenes like whatever, here's this guy. The same goes for the two superhero cameos, they just happen without there being given any weight to their presence in this movie. I kinda want to put the blame here on the editing and pacing, but I could never shake the feeling that Ayer doesn't take some of the blame here as well because even the stuff that works feels like it still needed more work.
I kinda want to draw up a conclusion but the conclusion has been obvious since the beginning of this review, hasn't it? It's a mess of a movie, which could be excused if there was actually anything worthwhile in it. Instead the movie only serves as a constant reminder that they kinda had the right idea making a Suicide Squad movie. And then they started to make this.
you can't make this shyt up 
.
I still didn't think it was gonna be any mythical shyt. 
or propoganda for a braindead populace. 
