Spin: Why don't women admit they cheated after they do?

[Hacksaw Jim Thuggin]

Tried making it short...

I noticed I wasn't a priority of hers anymore and vice versa (definitely more on her side, not justifying anything, just saying). One morning I had us sit and have a serious talk about our relationship. She asked for a break. After living together for nearly two years I couldn't understand what that meant. I thought we loved each other...how do you take a break from love? I asked her if she wanted to continue what we had...she didn't say anything. I asked her a few more times...she wouldn't say a word. Finally told her "If you can't say anything...then maybe nothing needs to be said". Packed up my bags and left that same day.

This happened in April last year, she reached out to me sometime in July I think (like I knew she would). I would have fell back into things with her if it wasn't for the empty feeling I had in my stomach and chest when I was around her. It felt like an animals instinct. She caused me a great deal of pain and I viewed her as a predator, someone who could potentially harm me again...

Mind you, I never got a clear reason as to why we split up in the first place. After seeing each other for a few days I asked her "What happened to us? What happened after I left here?" It took TONS of digging but she spilled the beans on everything. Right after I left in April she was messing with dudes left and right...nothing is wrong with that if you're single...I guess I just didn't expect that from her. I thought I meant more to her than that. She could have been cheating for all I know. A week passed and I told her I couldn't be involved with someone I couldn't trust anymore. She lied and denied for so long but it eventually came out. Haven't spoken to her since.

Man this mirrors my marriage....

I left and divorced her...and she reached out too...like you i was tempted because of how i felt for her...but I couldn't do it....

Don't look at her the same....

I literally get this look on my face ....when i think about her

 

[WaveCapsByOscorp™]

Let's get something straight: cheaters who don't want to own up in general avoid punishment. has nothing to do with gender. it has to do with the mentality of a cheater. the idea is to warp reality. trust me, if you really have a good heart it feels terrible to attempt to warp reality.

 

[Yo Mama]

Oh please.

People are flawed. Some seemingly shyttier than others.

Gender has nothing to do with it. Anyone who does something wrong is likely to try to deny it for as long as they can.

 

[TheGreatMTB]

Let's get something straight: cheaters who don't want to own up in general avoid punishment. has nothing to do with gender. it has to do with the mentality of a cheater. the idea is to warp reality. trust me, if you really have a good heart it feels terrible to attempt to warp reality.

Oh please.

People are flawed. Some seemingly shyttier than others.

Gender has nothing to do with it. Anyone who does something wrong is likely to try to deny it for as long as they can.

This is true...but women are also held less accountable on a society for their decision to cheat. When men do it our character is attacked, we're called trash. People go on whole twitter thread/hashtag sprees.

When women do it...people automatically look for the reason why. They go looking for a reason to excuse it "her man wasn't shyt", "she didn't get enough attention, women need attention", "her man wasn't a motivated man with a future", "he wasn't taking care of home", "he didn't make her feel needed, women need to feel needed", "he wasn't an alpha type of man, women like a man who takes control", etc....and like any shytty person would do (regardless of gender), they take advantage of how society looks at the situation...and play the victim.

Not saying men wouldn't do it too...but men don't normally get that "why" privilege. We aren't in a position to play the victim....hell sometimes nikkas are the victim and people act like we're the ones at fault. When shyt happens to us "you should have known that would happen"...dude out here getting falsely accused of rape, used for funds, etc and people hit them with "you should have known that would have happened based off the character of the chick".

No one questions why men cheat, they just act like we're animals incapable of doing shyt for logical/emotional reasons...and just act on impulse. A lot of the same emotional reasons a woman might cheat apply for men as well. In fact...when men cheat, women are reassured that there's nothing they could have done to prevent it...whereas men are treated like we automatically did something wrong to provoke being cheated on. People just act like all men cheat, even though statistically men and women cheat at equal frequencies in today's world.

I think that's what the argument/thread is about...overall cheaters ain't shyt regardless of gender

 

[Yo Mama]

I hear you.

I have never heard a cheating woman being given the benefit of the doubt though. She is called all sorts of whores.

Monogamy seems difficult if not impossible for some people. And theses whores know themselves so I don't understand why they just don't stay single. I know, family, kids, stability, home bla bla bla.

This is true...but women are also held less accountable on a society for their decision to cheat. When men do it our character is attacked, we're called trash. People go on whole twitter thread/hashtag sprees.

When women do it...people automatically look for the reason why. They go looking for a reason to excuse it "her man wasn't shyt", "she didn't get enough attention, women need attention", "her man wasn't a motivated man with a future", "he wasn't taking care of home", "he didn't make her feel needed, women need to feel needed", "he wasn't an alpha type of man, women like a man who takes control", etc....and like any shytty person would do (regardless of gender), they take advantage of how society looks at the situation...and play the victim.

Not saying men wouldn't do it too...but men don't normally get that "why" privilege. We aren't in a position to play the victim....hell sometimes nikkas are the victim and people act like we're the ones at fault. When shyt happens to us "you should have known that would happen"...dude out here getting falsely accused of rape, used for funds, etc and people hit them with "you should have known that would have happened based off the character of the chick".

No one questions why men cheat, they just act like we're animals incapable of doing shyt for logical/emotional reasons...and just act on impulse. A lot of the same emotional reasons a woman might cheat apply for men as well. In fact...when men cheat, women are reassured that there's nothing they could have done to prevent it...whereas men are treated like we automatically did something wrong to provoke being cheated on. People just act like all men cheat, even though statistically men and women cheat at equal frequencies in today's world.

I think that's what the argument/thread is about...overall cheaters ain't shyt regardless of gender

 

[WaveCapsByOscorp™]

This is true...but women are also held less accountable on a society for their decision to cheat. When men do it our character is attacked, we're called trash. People go on whole twitter thread/hashtag sprees.

When women do it...people automatically look for the reason why. They go looking for a reason to excuse it "her man wasn't shyt", "she didn't get enough attention, women need attention", "her man wasn't a motivated man with a future", "he wasn't taking care of home", "he didn't make her feel needed, women need to feel needed", "he wasn't an alpha type of man, women like a man who takes control", etc....and like any shytty person would do (regardless of gender), they take advantage of how society looks at the situation...and play the victim.

Not saying men wouldn't do it too...but men don't normally get that "why" privilege. We aren't in a position to play the victim....hell sometimes nikkas are the victim and people act like we're the ones at fault. When shyt happens to us "you should have known that would happen"...dude out here getting falsely accused of rape, used for funds, etc and people hit them with "you should have known that would have happened based off the character of the chick".

No one questions why men cheat, they just act like we're animals incapable of doing shyt for logical/emotional reasons...and just act on impulse. A lot of the same emotional reasons a woman might cheat apply for men as well. In fact...when men cheat, women are reassured that there's nothing they could have done to prevent it...whereas men are treated like we automatically did something wrong to provoke being cheated on. People just act like all men cheat, even though statistically men and women cheat at equal frequencies in today's world.

I think that's what the argument/thread is about...overall cheaters ain't shyt regardless of gender

I don't care about society's standards or inclinations. If anything, I'm trying to get over what society says. So, I get your point, but I feel like we should be having conversations like these on these topics in such a way that will bring change to society rather than reexplain what happens, as if it's not already understood, especially at this juncture. Do we need to highlight the differences between treatment of sexes to understand cheating? In that case, why consider men's punishment less? Just opens up a whole can of issues when you break into the issue too far, imho. I feel that way because from what I've experienced, nothing is universal.