Somebody offers you $200 million to fight and beat a moose in a cage match

[Gloxina]

So basically the $200 million is a life insurance settlement for my family after I die

Thank you for your sacrifice

 

[Buddy]

So basically the $200 million is a life insurance settlement for my family after I die

You have to BEAT the moose, it's in the title. If you already know you're dead then it's not for you.

Easy money


You did not specify what age Moose

A newborn Moose still walking on placenta legs I will fukk up and collect my winnings

The moose pic is there for reference

 

[General Mills]

You have to BEAT the moose, it's in the title. If you already know you're dead then it's not for you.

The moose pic is there for reference

Oh that moose…. I stand corrected.

 

[MJ Truth]

I could honestly do it with a just spear. Our ancestors were smaller than us and hunting mamoths and sht so this is nothing. Hell, there are tribesmen In the african savanah that can put down male lions today.


You dont need fancy tools or crazy speed if you have longer reach than the animal. That knife is too short. You need one of those spartan long spears. Its made even easier if the only attack move the animal has is "charge". Just use the cage behind you as support and use that animal's own momentum to stab it in the head/neck as its pushing forward. Might break your rib on impact, but the moose would kill itself.



I think a bear is more difficult because it has more moves than "charge forward blindly".

Those mufukkas lived like 12 years and had EXPERIENCE doing it. Your dumb ass gonna die within six seconds thinking you know what to do by osmosis.

 

[El Guapo]

Gonna jump off the top of the cage like Rey Mysterio, but with knife in hand and hope for the best

 

[The_Sheff]

I could honestly do it with a just spear. Our ancestors were smaller than us and hunting mamoths and sht so this is nothing. Hell, there are tribesmen In the african savanah that can put down male lions today.


You dont need fancy tools or crazy speed if you have longer reach than the animal. That knife is too short. You need one of those spartan long spears. Its made even easier if the only attack move the animal has is "charge". Just use the cage behind you as support and use that animal's own momentum to stab it in the head/neck as its pushing forward. Might break your rib on impact, but the moose would kill itself.



I think a bear is more difficult because it has more moves than "charge forward blindly".

nikka, you can’t do it if you gonna sit here and ask for a superior weapon.

 

[Buddy]

Those mufukkas lived like 12 years and had EXPERIENCE doing it. Your dumb ass gonna die within six seconds thinking you know what to do by osmosis.

He got a flashlight breh

 

[It's been real]

@Buddy setting up coli brehs to get hemmed up by meese

All I need is some string, gum and a paperclip. Mooreh won't even see it coming

 

[Dre God]

You would be gored to death before you could gather your thoughts.

Also a knife isn’t doing anything to a Moose’s neck.

 

[The Half-Blood FKA Prince]

200 mil yeah im not even fukkin around with no flashlight or knife. Sinking my teeth into its neck and not letting go until the officials hit me with a taser.

 

[CouldntBeMeTho]

I saw a moose in Yellowstone once. Even from a distance of a football field, the size of it was quite striking

Motherfukkers are absolute tanks

 

[It's been real]

I saw a moose in Yellowstone once. Even from a distance of a football field, the size of it was quite striking

Motherfukkers are absolute tanks

Ngl their spaghetti legs make me laugh, like these nikkas built like a four legged lollipop

Doesn't mean I'd fukk with one tho

 

[qwasi]

Moose are well-equipped to fight. At up to 1,600 pounds they are enormously powerful. Their shoulders are huge, and during the rut, their neck muscles expand to twice their normal size. Their antlers have sharp points attached to broad palms that can severely wound opponents, puncturing the body, injuring eyes, or bruising muscles. Clashes between moose were extraordinarily violent in an attempt to twist an opponent’s head, shove him backwards, cause him to fall, and gore him.

With their massive size, strength, and speed an adult moose has very few natural predators. Large bears, and packs of wolves, will sometimes take down the animal but most of their deaths come from car accidents or natural causes. Moose grow a new set of antlers each year, which can be as much as 4-5 feet wide and weigh 30 pounds. A moose can run 35 mph.

Force = Mass x Acceleration
Force = 1600lbs x 35mp/h = 11335 Newtons

A quick, sharp blow that delivers some 3,300 newtons of force has a 25 percent chance of cracking an average person's rib, she said. It takes more force to fracture the femur, Bir noted — maybe some 4,000 newtons — since that long thighbone is meant to support the body.

 

[duck]

That moose is dead.

Side step during charge

Leg slice.

Moose.walks around on 3 paws wondering who put it up to this insane challenge

Insert blade to neck.

Hold on and ride while sawing.

Moose will fall stunned and injured.

Then, with a tear in my eye, the finisher is delivered.

But I have a black belt in Brazilian Jiujitsu so it's going to be a lot easier then that sounds

How'd i know this fake ass bruce lee would have something to say. You'd be bouncin around the room like the putty patrol on power rangers waiting on getting trampled

 

[Buddy]

200 mil yeah im not even fukkin around with no flashlight or knife. Sinking my teeth into its neck and not letting go until the officials hit me with a taser.

no tasers necessary... if you wanna fight a vampire moose then you got it, "Count Blackula"...
just let come back from the dead and it's on