So there may be a custody battle brewing....

[Super TD Jakes]

she doesn't. but I do....so i don't see the problem. i only want what's best for my son. if she can handle it, then i'm not opposed to him staying with her and paying child support. not at all. i just don't want my son to have to suffer just because we couldn't stay married. it's not fair to him. all i'm saying is that he can stay with me until she gets everything together. then he can go with her. am i missing something? what did i say that was unreasonable?

u didn't say anything unreasonable at all...best believe if her situation was right, she'd try to take the kids from you...that's why she's actin' like that because she's not in a position to do so...dealin' with a similar situation goin' to a parent teacher conference for my daughter, she might have to come back to live with me, i had her the first four years of her life, she's 7 now and not doing good in school for the second straight year, on my watch that shyt wouldn't be happening, back to you now you bein' very reasonable with her, don't let your emotions get in the way, just handle your business and keep pushing for a win win and if you can't get a win win, then its no deal!

 

[Steve Piffler]

I warned noggas about wifing single moms

Gonna be paying bread for a kid that ain't even yours

nikka how you figure that? the other kid gets a child support check already. fukk i look like paying for another nikkaz child when his daddy already paying for his ass? not gonna happen....

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

she won't be reasonable

let her try to make it on her own with both sons
when she fails
she will humble herself and let him go with u

then she will file support papers, get him back and tax your pockets

 

[MooseMouthMthafuga]

yep. i think this is what it is too... and the fact that she couldn't draw child support from me if he stays with me. shyt is sad breh. i didn't even think it was like that....

You're going to catch hell for that.My sons mother wasn't around for the first two years of his life.She moved to Miami with her new dude and we agreed to let my son stay with me.



She moved back here 2 years ago, but she tries to project her guilt onto me when my son doesn't want to do anything with her.


Just the other day, he refused to get in the car with her.He ran behind me and said "I'm staying with my dad".The shyt was heartbreaking to me because I'd never seen him act like that.Normally he'll be a lil soldier and go, but he took a stand that day.He tried to run away from her.When he did get in the car, he kept trying to open the door to get out.


She blamed it on a argument we had a few weeks ago, but it wasn't really a blow up.After that, she said it's because me and my family talk about her in front of him...she's never around and my family don't even give a fukk that she exist.


After that it was, "you spoil him to much".....People tell me I'm a lil to stern on him


What do these ho's want, breh?


At one point, she was saying it's good to spoil your kids because not enough black babies get spoiled.


And then if you spend to much time with the kid and they bond with you more than they bond with her, they get all self conscious and start blaming everybody but themselves.shyt's psychotic IMO


And then if you don't spend any time with your kids, you "ain't shyt" and you're a dog ass nikka?


The expect you to balance that shyt perfectly why absolving them of any responsibility/ guilt.Basically, they want you to go along with their phony bullshyt.Once the kid starts to feel like moms just doing it to save face, and not because she genuinely cares, don't get mad at me.You was gone for 2 years......now you wanna come back and expect instant mommy privileges? it sad because the children have to get caught up in grown up bullshyt and have their feelings/instincts discounted.


Children know genuine love when they see it.Don't get mad when they can see right through your bullshyt

 

[Steve Piffler]

she won't be reasonable

let her try to make it on her own with both sons
when she fails
she will humble herself and let him go with u
then she will file support papers, get him back and tax your pockets

i thought about that, but i ain't playing russian roulette with my son. why would i let him settle for less just to prove a point, when i can give him the best? i can't do him like that. he deserves the best that i can provide for him. i can't give him nothing less....

 

[big bun]

our lease is up in January and we gotta be gone before Feb. 1st. i already got my accommodations together, deposit paid, furniture ordered. i told her that she will need to get on her shyt so that her and the boys can have an easy transition. i also told her that i'd help her in any way that she needed me to so that it can be easy for everyone. she calls me today and tells me that she can't find any apartments or townhomes with 3 bedrooms that she could afford in our current area (she wants to stay there so the kids don't have to change schools). i suggest too her that if she can't find anything that she could afford, that I would stay in the area also, let my son stay with me and he could go back and stay with her when she gets her money up so she could get a bigger place. this is pretty much how it went:

her: nikka you crazy! i ain't splitting up the boys! he ain't going nowhere!
me: (cause her tone caught me COMPLETELY off guard) first of all, DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!!!! don't address me like i have no right to be concerned about my childs well being! i never said that i wanted to split up the boys. all i'm saying is that worst case scenario, if you can't find an affordable spot right now, he can live with me until you can. after you get a better place, he can go back with you.
her: whatever! you just wanna take him from me and i'm going to let you do that!
me: what do you mean LET?!! stop acting like i'm not just as much his parent as you are. i been living under the same roof with him and taking care of him since day 1, just like you. if any decisions are gonna be made about our son, it will be by US. you being his mother does not give you the right to automatically have more rights than me by default. and besides, i never said that i would take him from you permanently. it's just an option if you can't find a place. why are you acting like this?
her: i'm his mother, and he needs to be with me.
me: I'M HIS FATHER! he needs me too!!! what makes you think that he doesn't need me just as much???!!!
her: *hangs up telephone*
me:

WHAT THE fukk???!!!! i certainly didn't see that coming!

Ladies, what's your take on this? Fellas, i already know your take on this...

My take is your BM is a bum...and you'll be gettin' filed on.

 

[Jesus Is Lord]

You better get on your Furious Styles swag. You see how he handled that Trey situation.

 

[MikelArteta]

nikka how you figure that? the other kid gets a child support check already. fukk i look like paying for another nikkaz child when his daddy already paying for his ass? not gonna happen....

Doesn't work that way


If a woman or a man comes into a relationship with a child from another marriage, and their spouse takes on a parenting role, that person would generally be required to pay child support. This is called standing in locus parentis. For example, the courts look at how long you have been living with the children, whether you were involved in disciplining them, you attended parent-teacher interviews, you were called “dad” or “mom”, you helped financially support the children and all of the other circumstances to determine whether you are “in locus parentis”.

The situation is more complicated when there is a biological father. There can still be child support paid by the stepfather if he has become like a father to the child, but often the courts start with the assumption that the biological father should pay the full amount in accordance with the child support guidelines. Then they look at the income of the stepfather and what the guidelines say he should be paying. Often there is a reduction in the stepfather’s obligation but it depends on what the biological parent is paying. If he is paying a trivial amount of support because his income is so low, and the stepfather has a substantial income, then the stepfather might be ordered to pay almost the whole amount that the guideline suggests based on his income. The first obligation is from the biological parent. They are going to pay the full amount as dictated by the guidelines. Then the secondary obligation is the in locus parentis parent or what we would commonly call the step-parent.

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

i thought about that, but i ain't playing russian roulette with my son. why would i let him settle for less just to prove a point, when i can give him the best? i can't do him like that. he deserves the best that i can provide for him. i can't give him nothing less....

i feel u but would you rather have your son witness a war with u two

when instead he can go with her peacefully and when she realizes she has to let him go- you get him

 

[Super TD Jakes]

You're going to catch hell for that.My sons mother wasn't around for the first two years of his life.She moved to Miami with her new dude and we agreed to let my son stay with me.



She moved back here 2 years ago, but she tries to project her guilt onto me when my son doesn't want to do anything with her.


Just the other day, he refused to get in the car with her.He ran behind me and said "I'm staying with my dad".The shyt was heartbreaking to me because I'd never seen him act like that.Normally he'll be a lil soldier and go, but he took a stand that day.He tried to run away from her.When he did get in the car, he kept trying to open the door to get out.


She blamed it on a argument we had a few weeks ago, but it wasn't really a blow up.After that, she said it's because me and my family talk about her in front of him...she's never around and my family don't even give a fukk that she exist.


After that it was, "you spoil him to much".....People tell me I'm a lil to stern on him


What do these ho's want, breh?


At one point, she was saying it's good to spoil your kids because not enough black babies get spoiled.


And then if you spend to much time with the kid and they bond with you more than they bond with her, they get all self conscious and start blaming everybody but themselves.shyt's psychotic IMO


And then if you don't spend any time with your kids, you "ain't shyt" and you're a dog ass nikka?


The expect you to balance that shyt perfectly why absolving them of any responsibility/ guilt.Basically, they want you to go along with their phony bullshyt.Once the kid starts to feel like moms just doing it to save face, and not because she genuinely cares, don't get mad at me.You was gone for 2 years......now you wanna come back and expect instant mommy privileges? it sad because the children have to get caught up in grown up bullshyt and have their feelings/instincts discounted.


Children know genuine love when they see it.Don't get mad when they can see right through your bullshyt

Exactly!

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

Doesn't work that way


If a woman or a man comes into a relationship with a child from another marriage, and their spouse takes on a parenting role, that person would generally be required to pay child support. This is called standing in locus parentis. For example, the courts look at how long you have been living with the children, whether you were involved in disciplining them, you attended parent-teacher interviews, you were called “dad” or “mom”, you helped financially support the children and all of the other circumstances to determine whether you are “in locus parentis”.

The situation is more complicated when there is a biological father. There can still be child support paid by the stepfather if he has become like a father to the child, but often the courts start with the assumption that the biological father should pay the full amount in accordance with the child support guidelines. Then they look at the income of the stepfather and what the guidelines say he should be paying. Often there is a reduction in the stepfather’s obligation but it depends on what the biological parent is paying. If he is paying a trivial amount of support because his income is so low, and the stepfather has a substantial income, then the stepfather might be ordered to pay almost the whole amount that the guideline suggests based on his income. The first obligation is from the biological parent. They are going to pay the full amount as dictated by the guidelines. Then the secondary obligation is the in locus parentis parent or what we would commonly call the step-parent.

stop playing "jail house" lawyer

unless the biological father signed over custody rights that is not legally possible

you are the worst troll ever

 

[Super TD Jakes]

i feel u but would you rather have your son witness a war with u two

when instead he can go with her peacefully and when she realizes she has to let him go- you get him

she ain't gonna do that...women are not humble like that, usually takes the child to rebel or the man to be man and man up and take back his child to give his child the best, in a situation right now, where my bm should "realize she has to let her go" but she fightin' to hold on to keep my daughter in the projects when i live in the burbs

 

[HoLLaBaCK]

The fact that u even thought this would end smoothly is

You could have all the money in the world, give her way more than it's gonna take to raise the kids, see them all the time, pay her rent, and yet women will find away to make this shyt as uncomfortable as possible for u

 

[Steve Piffler]

Doesn't work that way


If a woman or a man comes into a relationship with a child from another marriage, and their spouse takes on a parenting role, that person would generally be required to pay child support. This is called standing in locus parentis. For example, the courts look at how long you have been living with the children, whether you were involved in disciplining them, you attended parent-teacher interviews, you were called “dad” or “mom”, you helped financially support the children and all of the other circumstances to determine whether you are “in locus parentis”.

The situation is more complicated when there is a biological father. There can still be child support paid by the stepfather if he has become like a father to the child, but often the courts start with the assumption that the biological father should pay the full amount in accordance with the child support guidelines. Then they look at the income of the stepfather and what the guidelines say he should be paying. Often there is a reduction in the stepfather’s obligation but it depends on what the biological parent is paying. If he is paying a trivial amount of support because his income is so low, and the stepfather has a substantial income, then the stepfather might be ordered to pay almost the whole amount that the guideline suggests based on his income. The first obligation is from the biological parent. They are going to pay the full amount as dictated by the guidelines. Then the secondary obligation is the in locus parentis parent or what we would commonly call the step-parent.

you my nikka and all, but fukk OUTTA HERE WIT THIS shyt!!!!

his daddy already pays child support on him and is still in his life. there is NO WAY that i'd be required to pay double for 1 child. come on breh.....

 

[Steve Piffler]

The fact that u even thought this would end smoothly is

You could have all the money in the world, give her way more than it's gonna take to raise the kids, see them all the time, pay her rent, and yet women will find away to make this shyt as uncomfortable as possible for u

i'm seeing that more and more now. it's like she's mad at me because i have all my shyt together and ready to go for the January move and she has nothing accomplished yet. it's sad....