So now just chilling is deemed as a negative?
- Thread starter Shameonyou
- Start date
Shameonyou
All Star
True Story: He’s Trying To Turn Me Into the ‘Come Over & Chill Girl’
TUESDAY JUN 19, 2012 – BY BRITNI DANIELLE
I’m not quite sure when it happened, when dating devolved into dudes just asking women to “come over and chill” instead of out on a proper date, but as a grown woman tired of the game, I think getting to know someone should happen outside the confines of your home.
Recently, I talked about realizing I have a type of guy that I’m attracted to. Despite dating all sorts of men, I typically end up with “different” guys—brothas who are slightly quirky or of a different culture than my own. I’ve dated Jamaicans, Ghanaians, Southern gentlemen, Brooklyn dudes, and now a black Frenchmen. Although they were all vastly different, they had something in common: they tried to trick me into being the come over and chill girl.
You know how it goes. You meet a cute guy, exchange numbers, and instead of asking you to hit up the latest Romare Bearden exhibit, he suggests you come over and watch movies, which is guyspeak for “I’m cheap and I want some ass.”
I won’t lie. I’ve fallen for the “come chill” request a time or two in the past, but after last year’s chillin’ debacle when a guy eight years my senior tried to make me feel childish for wanting to actually go on a real date instead of being cooped up in his apartment watching reality TV and dodging his wandering hands, I knew my come over and chill days were officially over.
But brothas keep trying. “Come over and chill” must be underlined in the international man handbook, because no matter where the guy is from, he will still try to work that tricky little number on you. The Frenchman certainly gave it a shot, but I nixed that idea before it had a chance to really hit the ether. However, some women aren’t so forceful in knocking down the request to chill and end up caught in the no-date matrix.
I know the dating game can be hard and often times annoying, but failing to require a man to meet your expectations—thoughtful gestures, planned dates, good manners–is no way to operate either.
Falling into the very frustrating trap of being the come over and chill girl is a dead end. Trust me. One day you’ll get tired of watching him play Call of Duty 35 for the 127th time and you’ll want to knock him upside the head with the remote.
Before it gets that far, just tell the next man you meet you want to get to know him the old fashioned way—outside of his house—and if he blinks, well, then he wasn’t worth the time anyway.
Have you ever been the “come chill” girl? How did you break out of that pattern?
TUESDAY JUN 19, 2012 – BY BRITNI DANIELLE
I’m not quite sure when it happened, when dating devolved into dudes just asking women to “come over and chill” instead of out on a proper date, but as a grown woman tired of the game, I think getting to know someone should happen outside the confines of your home.
Recently, I talked about realizing I have a type of guy that I’m attracted to. Despite dating all sorts of men, I typically end up with “different” guys—brothas who are slightly quirky or of a different culture than my own. I’ve dated Jamaicans, Ghanaians, Southern gentlemen, Brooklyn dudes, and now a black Frenchmen. Although they were all vastly different, they had something in common: they tried to trick me into being the come over and chill girl.
You know how it goes. You meet a cute guy, exchange numbers, and instead of asking you to hit up the latest Romare Bearden exhibit, he suggests you come over and watch movies, which is guyspeak for “I’m cheap and I want some ass.”
I won’t lie. I’ve fallen for the “come chill” request a time or two in the past, but after last year’s chillin’ debacle when a guy eight years my senior tried to make me feel childish for wanting to actually go on a real date instead of being cooped up in his apartment watching reality TV and dodging his wandering hands, I knew my come over and chill days were officially over.
But brothas keep trying. “Come over and chill” must be underlined in the international man handbook, because no matter where the guy is from, he will still try to work that tricky little number on you. The Frenchman certainly gave it a shot, but I nixed that idea before it had a chance to really hit the ether. However, some women aren’t so forceful in knocking down the request to chill and end up caught in the no-date matrix.
I know the dating game can be hard and often times annoying, but failing to require a man to meet your expectations—thoughtful gestures, planned dates, good manners–is no way to operate either.
Falling into the very frustrating trap of being the come over and chill girl is a dead end. Trust me. One day you’ll get tired of watching him play Call of Duty 35 for the 127th time and you’ll want to knock him upside the head with the remote.
Before it gets that far, just tell the next man you meet you want to get to know him the old fashioned way—outside of his house—and if he blinks, well, then he wasn’t worth the time anyway.
Have you ever been the “come chill” girl? How did you break out of that pattern?
DaRealness
I think very deeply
I've come to the conclusion that anything we do in the eyes of these chicks is deemed as a "negative".
Those guys could have taken her out on a proper date and followed all the dating rules and she'd still find something to complain about.
Those guys could have taken her out on a proper date and followed all the dating rules and she'd still find something to complain about.
Dates are fine once a week or if its your first few times meeting. You get to know someone a lot better at their own place instead of constantly going out to dinner and movies
And no its not about spending $ as opposed to not
had a chick come over and chilled this past Saturday night. I didn't even ask, it was her suggestion 
sometimes I don't wanna take a girl out every weekend, I want to relax and watch a movie. And it has nothing to do with money either. Chick probably just wanna be seen.
sometimes I don't wanna take a girl out every weekend, I want to relax and watch a movie. And it has nothing to do with money either. Chick probably just wanna be seen.
Shameonyou
All Star
its funny how she said "getting to know someone should happen outside the home"
How in the bloody fukk does that make any damn sense?
How in the bloody fukk does that make any damn sense?
DaRealness
I think very deeply
It doesn't make any fukking sense at all. That's like saying you should only kiss when there's a full moon.
.....and they seriously wonder why guys disregard their opinions most of the time and don't take 'em seriously.
matthew2777
Rookie
thats all me n my gf do ...just chill in my room 
...i think she gonna take me out one day
...i think she gonna take me out one day
Just come over and give me them drawers bytch 
DaChampIsHere
Survive the drought
She's right. Any man who considers a proper first date to be "chilling" in his house is foolish/childish.
