Seriously, WTF was Yamcha thinking tryin to handle 300x gravity?

[Days of Future Piff]

Yo chill on my nikka Yamcha mayn At least the nikka was drownin in pumpum for the series, he still fukked Bulma and aint have to take care of no kid or have a slut daughter she was mad at all the other bytches were ON my man and yknow he cheated. Even Bulmas mom got it remember all the time she was flirting with him "Yamchas very cute, strong and rich" with her squinty lil hehe eyes



GOAT baseball star, RICH nikka, fireman, bandit goon, most the women on the planet was still flockin him, his body count shyts on any other Z fighter if u add up all their totals it still not even in the same stratosphere yall think Goku bust a nut more than twice in his life Vegeta too Piccolo cold so he prolly did well for himself, Gohan seem like a beta and for a human he was part of some of the most historic moments
We finna act like Krillin aint the most pussboi in the series this nikka couldnt get no p*ssy the whole series besides that bipolar Caitlyn Jenner Launch . That Maron chick just gave him a kiss on the cheek u know he aint get in that. Meanwhile she was talkin dirty to Yamcha all the time. You know Yamcha hit Then this Krillin finally find one that would let him hit and it was a fukking robot this nikka used up a DRAGONBALL WISH, he couldve wished for the BADDEST bytch in the UNIVERSE but he used it to give her p*ssy so he could nut in that Wife a bytch that wear the drawers brehs Then this nikka names his DAUGHTER after the bytch that gave him none and was gettin dikked down by Yams behind his back yall think Yamcha trippin? Hold this W my G Krillin take this L ya baldheaded simp monk

People stanning Yamcha over Krillin all of a sudden?

Yamcha ain't never had more swag than this guy:

Dude's ONLY W in the entire series came from Krillin coming to save him with the in Fortuneteller Baba's tournament. Like your boy wasn't getting ethered until Krillin came through with Roshi and helped out with that nosebleed...

Spoiler

Every other time he showed up to fight without Krillin having his back, he wound up like this...

Murked out by an enemy Krillin killed THREE of

in ONE ATTACK

And flying off into space with his chick after that

Who had NO COMPUNCTIONS ABOUT WALKING AROUND IN HER DRAWS AROUND HIM

Need I remind anyone of Majin Buu's rampage, and Yamcha's tendencies towards running away with the women, kids and old people while Krillin laid his life down like a G?



And ended the series on a high note, with a functional family, a non- wife like Goku and Vegeta, while Yamcha spent the rest of his days in the desert with his sexually confused, cornball talking cat? Even Tien was boo'ed up with Chaouzu ()

...and Yamcha's supposed to have all this money and power? Yajirobe stayed getting more shine than him.
Dude was never stronger than Krillin

Dude never got more shine than Krillin in the tournaments

Dude never had the nicer cars than Krillin

Dude never had a iller suit game than Krillin

Dude was never a bigger baller than Krillin, either

Yamcha couldn't even look a girl in the eye until DB ended

Sitting around dumbfounded (and probably in the bushes)...

While my dude's been mackin' on 'em since he was nine years old

 

[Grifter]

You live your entire life as a criminal in a desert. The only companionship you have a talking cat. One day, desperate for something of worth in your dirt-ridden existence, you try to rob a teenage girl, a pig, and a small boy. The small boy kicks your teeth out after seeing a girl makes you bashful and embarrassed, and peeping a titty makes you pass out.

When confronted with the possibility of having any wish granted by a magical dragon, your wish would be "I don't want to drop spaghetti while looking at a lady"


You then spend days creeping on these folks, watching for a way to achieve this lofty goal, you are forced to hit a little girl (one of your few [only?] victories) and then hit on her.


Eventually you are captured and saved only when the little kid turns into a giant monkey. The pig does more than you to save the day.

But it's okay, right? You finally got a girlfriend. Well, kind of. You don't really see each other that often.

You decide to show the world your stuff and enter into the Tenkaichi Budokai, the greatest martial arts tournament of all time. You are immediately eliminated in the quarter finals by an old man nobody's heard of before. You embarrass and humiliate yourself by insisting that it's a different old man in disguise before being proven a fool.

The next time you hear from Goku, he's taking on terrorist Nazis or some crazy shyt. So you gear up to raid the Hydra base and... you're not needed at all. You get a sinking feeling in your heart, like this won't be getting old soon.

You help Goku fight the fortune teller's fighters. An invisible man beats you up and you barely win when your girlfriend's boobs are gawked at by an old man. You are then beaten up by a mummy.


But the Turtle Hermit, greatest living martial arts master, has taken you in. You'll do well in the next tournament!

Nope. The heel you challenged beats and destroys you in front of a crowd. You are helpless. Like a child. Your legs, broken. By the end of the tournament, the man who brutalized you is declared champion, but he decided to be "nice" now, so you have to pretend that it's okay and you're friends after he annihilated your pride for all to see.

A demon king attacks the world and you stay with the peanut gallery. The bad guy doesn't even bother to go after you despite specifically targeting martial artists. Jesus Christ.


Speaking of God, Goku is training with God now. You feel so very small and weak. M-maybe the next tournament.... ?



The next tournament sees you headbutted in the junk and defeated handily by a middle aged tourist. True, it's God in disguise, but still. Nobody knows that. Yamcha, the desert bandit. His tournament career ended by an old man. That's your public legacy.

(Also you have a scar for some reason, which is kind of pathetic considering that the children who underwent the same training didn't get maimed like you.)

Oh, and Goku gets married before you, and he doesn't even know what marriage is.



Years pass and you become a baseball player. That one glorious period of fame and recognition is going to come to an end. You learn that Goku's dead and it's time for you and the others to take the lead. Time to train under God himself to protect the Earth from deadly alie

nvm you died. krillin destroys several saibamen with a single attack, while you lie lifeless in the dirt. good try though. yajirobe and the five year old do more than you.


For the next few months you sit on a planet while King Kai teaches you jack shyt.


You come back to life! Your girlfriend breaks up with you and immediately starts flirting with the guy who got you killed less than a year ago. His power is so strong and big compared to yours, flaccid and tiny. You can only stand around and cry when Frieza comes to Earth, and are filled with joy when he's defeated by a mysterious stranger from the future who gives you a dire warning that you're going to fail in another timeline as well.

After three years of training your ex hooks up with the evil spaceman and they make a baby, who you have to help change the diapers of whenever you swing by

You get punched through the chest by an old man without doing anything. You try to explain that they can steal your energy, but you could have done something before that. You just don't care anymore. You wait until Goku's nearly dead to explain the energy stealing bit, and then take him back home to babysit him as you openly acknowledge your uselessness

Oh and the future stranger is Bulma and Vegeta's badass robot fighting son, and thus the whole fate of two worlds depended on Vegeta and Bulma's amazing sweaty unprotected lovemaking. Nothing has ever depended on you or ever will

Tien does more than you when he holds off the bugman. You just do nothing. Krillin gets a robot girlfriend who barely ages. You get nothing.



A tournament comes around again and the gang is getting together for old time's sake. Even Krillin is going to enter. Good ol' Krillin. Always there for the team. Always in the fight, even when he's outclassed.

You stay in the stands with Krillin's daughter to babysit her. Your ex-girlfriend cheers on her husband and their son, who wins the junior division. You have no son.



When they all fly off to fight Majin Buu nobody even thinks about inviting you to come and help


Nobody ever thinks about you

Thread Over

 

[FunkDoc1112]

He could sense Bulma wanted the Saiyan dikk so he did some stupid shyt to prove how tough he was. Trying to keep that Blue haired harlot happy damn near killed my G

 

[Kane]

You live your entire life as a criminal in a desert. The only companionship you have a talking cat. One day, desperate for something of worth in your dirt-ridden existence, you try to rob a teenage girl, a pig, and a small boy. The small boy kicks your teeth out after seeing a girl makes you bashful and embarrassed, and peeping a titty makes you pass out.

When confronted with the possibility of having any wish granted by a magical dragon, your wish would be "I don't want to drop spaghetti while looking at a lady"


You then spend days creeping on these folks, watching for a way to achieve this lofty goal, you are forced to hit a little girl (one of your few [only?] victories) and then hit on her.


Eventually you are captured and saved only when the little kid turns into a giant monkey. The pig does more than you to save the day.

But it's okay, right? You finally got a girlfriend. Well, kind of. You don't really see each other that often.

You decide to show the world your stuff and enter into the Tenkaichi Budokai, the greatest martial arts tournament of all time. You are immediately eliminated in the quarter finals by an old man nobody's heard of before. You embarrass and humiliate yourself by insisting that it's a different old man in disguise before being proven a fool.

The next time you hear from Goku, he's taking on terrorist Nazis or some crazy shyt. So you gear up to raid the Hydra base and... you're not needed at all. You get a sinking feeling in your heart, like this won't be getting old soon.

You help Goku fight the fortune teller's fighters. An invisible man beats you up and you barely win when your girlfriend's boobs are gawked at by an old man. You are then beaten up by a mummy.


But the Turtle Hermit, greatest living martial arts master, has taken you in. You'll do well in the next tournament!

Nope. The heel you challenged beats and destroys you in front of a crowd. You are helpless. Like a child. Your legs, broken. By the end of the tournament, the man who brutalized you is declared champion, but he decided to be "nice" now, so you have to pretend that it's okay and you're friends after he annihilated your pride for all to see.

A demon king attacks the world and you stay with the peanut gallery. The bad guy doesn't even bother to go after you despite specifically targeting martial artists. Jesus Christ.


Speaking of God, Goku is training with God now. You feel so very small and weak. M-maybe the next tournament.... ?



The next tournament sees you headbutted in the junk and defeated handily by a middle aged tourist. True, it's God in disguise, but still. Nobody knows that. Yamcha, the desert bandit. His tournament career ended by an old man. That's your public legacy.

(Also you have a scar for some reason, which is kind of pathetic considering that the children who underwent the same training didn't get maimed like you.)

Oh, and Goku gets married before you, and he doesn't even know what marriage is.



Years pass and you become a baseball player. That one glorious period of fame and recognition is going to come to an end. You learn that Goku's dead and it's time for you and the others to take the lead. Time to train under God himself to protect the Earth from deadly alie

nvm you died. krillin destroys several saibamen with a single attack, while you lie lifeless in the dirt. good try though. yajirobe and the five year old do more than you.


For the next few months you sit on a planet while King Kai teaches you jack shyt.


You come back to life! Your girlfriend breaks up with you and immediately starts flirting with the guy who got you killed less than a year ago. His power is so strong and big compared to yours, flaccid and tiny. You can only stand around and cry when Frieza comes to Earth, and are filled with joy when he's defeated by a mysterious stranger from the future who gives you a dire warning that you're going to fail in another timeline as well.

After three years of training your ex hooks up with the evil spaceman and they make a baby, who you have to help change the diapers of whenever you swing by

You get punched through the chest by an old man without doing anything. You try to explain that they can steal your energy, but you could have done something before that. You just don't care anymore. You wait until Goku's nearly dead to explain the energy stealing bit, and then take him back home to babysit him as you openly acknowledge your uselessness

Oh and the future stranger is Bulma and Vegeta's badass robot fighting son, and thus the whole fate of two worlds depended on Vegeta and Bulma's amazing sweaty unprotected lovemaking. Nothing has ever depended on you or ever will

Tien does more than you when he holds off the bugman. You just do nothing. Krillin gets a robot girlfriend who barely ages. You get nothing.



A tournament comes around again and the gang is getting together for old time's sake. Even Krillin is going to enter. Good ol' Krillin. Always there for the team. Always in the fight, even when he's outclassed.

You stay in the stands with Krillin's daughter to babysit her. Your ex-girlfriend cheers on her husband and their son, who wins the junior division. You have no son.



When they all fly off to fight Majin Buu nobody even thinks about inviting you to come and help


Nobody ever thinks about you

Sorry breh i meant to rep u

 

[King Crimson]

Why you bringing up old shyt though? They been squashed the beef.

You live your entire life as a criminal in a desert. The only companionship you have a talking cat. One day, desperate for something of worth in your dirt-ridden existence, you try to rob a teenage girl, a pig, and a small boy. The small boy kicks your teeth out after seeing a girl makes you bashful and embarrassed, and peeping a titty makes you pass out.

When confronted with the possibility of having any wish granted by a magical dragon, your wish would be "I don't want to drop spaghetti while looking at a lady"


You then spend days creeping on these folks, watching for a way to achieve this lofty goal, you are forced to hit a little girl (one of your few [only?] victories) and then hit on her.


Eventually you are captured and saved only when the little kid turns into a giant monkey. The pig does more than you to save the day.

But it's okay, right? You finally got a girlfriend. Well, kind of. You don't really see each other that often.

You decide to show the world your stuff and enter into the Tenkaichi Budokai, the greatest martial arts tournament of all time. You are immediately eliminated in the quarter finals by an old man nobody's heard of before. You embarrass and humiliate yourself by insisting that it's a different old man in disguise before being proven a fool.

The next time you hear from Goku, he's taking on terrorist Nazis or some crazy shyt. So you gear up to raid the Hydra base and... you're not needed at all. You get a sinking feeling in your heart, like this won't be getting old soon.

You help Goku fight the fortune teller's fighters. An invisible man beats you up and you barely win when your girlfriend's boobs are gawked at by an old man. You are then beaten up by a mummy.


But the Turtle Hermit, greatest living martial arts master, has taken you in. You'll do well in the next tournament!

Nope. The heel you challenged beats and destroys you in front of a crowd. You are helpless. Like a child. Your legs, broken. By the end of the tournament, the man who brutalized you is declared champion, but he decided to be "nice" now, so you have to pretend that it's okay and you're friends after he annihilated your pride for all to see.

A demon king attacks the world and you stay with the peanut gallery. The bad guy doesn't even bother to go after you despite specifically targeting martial artists. Jesus Christ.


Speaking of God, Goku is training with God now. You feel so very small and weak. M-maybe the next tournament.... ?



The next tournament sees you headbutted in the junk and defeated handily by a middle aged tourist. True, it's God in disguise, but still. Nobody knows that. Yamcha, the desert bandit. His tournament career ended by an old man. That's your public legacy.

(Also you have a scar for some reason, which is kind of pathetic considering that the children who underwent the same training didn't get maimed like you.)

Oh, and Goku gets married before you, and he doesn't even know what marriage is.



Years pass and you become a baseball player. That one glorious period of fame and recognition is going to come to an end. You learn that Goku's dead and it's time for you and the others to take the lead. Time to train under God himself to protect the Earth from deadly alie

nvm you died. krillin destroys several saibamen with a single attack, while you lie lifeless in the dirt. good try though. yajirobe and the five year old do more than you.


For the next few months you sit on a planet while King Kai teaches you jack shyt.


You come back to life! Your girlfriend breaks up with you and immediately starts flirting with the guy who got you killed less than a year ago. His power is so strong and big compared to yours, flaccid and tiny. You can only stand around and cry when Frieza comes to Earth, and are filled with joy when he's defeated by a mysterious stranger from the future who gives you a dire warning that you're going to fail in another timeline as well.

After three years of training your ex hooks up with the evil spaceman and they make a baby, who you have to help change the diapers of whenever you swing by

You get punched through the chest by an old man without doing anything. You try to explain that they can steal your energy, but you could have done something before that. You just don't care anymore. You wait until Goku's nearly dead to explain the energy stealing bit, and then take him back home to babysit him as you openly acknowledge your uselessness

Oh and the future stranger is Bulma and Vegeta's badass robot fighting son, and thus the whole fate of two worlds depended on Vegeta and Bulma's amazing sweaty unprotected lovemaking. Nothing has ever depended on you or ever will

Tien does more than you when he holds off the bugman. You just do nothing. Krillin gets a robot girlfriend who barely ages. You get nothing.



A tournament comes around again and the gang is getting together for old time's sake. Even Krillin is going to enter. Good ol' Krillin. Always there for the team. Always in the fight, even when he's outclassed.

You stay in the stands with Krillin's daughter to babysit her. Your ex-girlfriend cheers on her husband and their son, who wins the junior division. You have no son.



When they all fly off to fight Majin Buu nobody even thinks about inviting you to come and help


Nobody ever thinks about you

Like Yamcha would ever take the time to read all of that drivel.
Homie living the life your favorite rapper wishes he lived.
#DesertBandit
#BanditBoys
#WolfFangFistingYourbytch
#BaseballIsLife
#KarateBums

 

[the cool]

It just doesn't make sense any sense AT ALL. There is some dumb stuff that happens in DBZ, but this has to be up the top. You're a human peeping through those windows jealous as fukk at Vegeta's training methods. What makes you think you think you can handle 300x? Dude didn't even bother starting with 100x and working his way up. Like a breh that can barely bench press 135 jumping up to three 45 plates on each side.

"Oh no! What have I done?" That struggle regret.

Vegeta probably showed up in there the next morning like seeing Yamcha still on the ground

You wouldn't catch Tien or Krillin making dumb moves like that

this post is hilarious as fukk and i never seen a dbz episode........too poor to have cable back then

 

[cole phelps]

You live your entire life as a criminal in a desert. The only companionship you have a talking cat. One day, desperate for something of worth in your dirt-ridden existence, you try to rob a teenage girl, a pig, and a small boy. The small boy kicks your teeth out after seeing a girl makes you bashful and embarrassed, and peeping a titty makes you pass out.

When confronted with the possibility of having any wish granted by a magical dragon, your wish would be "I don't want to drop spaghetti while looking at a lady"


You then spend days creeping on these folks, watching for a way to achieve this lofty goal, you are forced to hit a little girl (one of your few [only?] victories) and then hit on her.


Eventually you are captured and saved only when the little kid turns into a giant monkey. The pig does more than you to save the day.

But it's okay, right? You finally got a girlfriend. Well, kind of. You don't really see each other that often.

You decide to show the world your stuff and enter into the Tenkaichi Budokai, the greatest martial arts tournament of all time. You are immediately eliminated in the quarter finals by an old man nobody's heard of before. You embarrass and humiliate yourself by insisting that it's a different old man in disguise before being proven a fool.

The next time you hear from Goku, he's taking on terrorist Nazis or some crazy shyt. So you gear up to raid the Hydra base and... you're not needed at all. You get a sinking feeling in your heart, like this won't be getting old soon.

You help Goku fight the fortune teller's fighters. An invisible man beats you up and you barely win when your girlfriend's boobs are gawked at by an old man. You are then beaten up by a mummy.


But the Turtle Hermit, greatest living martial arts master, has taken you in. You'll do well in the next tournament!

Nope. The heel you challenged beats and destroys you in front of a crowd. You are helpless. Like a child. Your legs, broken. By the end of the tournament, the man who brutalized you is declared champion, but he decided to be "nice" now, so you have to pretend that it's okay and you're friends after he annihilated your pride for all to see.

A demon king attacks the world and you stay with the peanut gallery. The bad guy doesn't even bother to go after you despite specifically targeting martial artists. Jesus Christ.


Speaking of God, Goku is training with God now. You feel so very small and weak. M-maybe the next tournament.... ?



The next tournament sees you headbutted in the junk and defeated handily by a middle aged tourist. True, it's God in disguise, but still. Nobody knows that. Yamcha, the desert bandit. His tournament career ended by an old man. That's your public legacy.

(Also you have a scar for some reason, which is kind of pathetic considering that the children who underwent the same training didn't get maimed like you.)

Oh, and Goku gets married before you, and he doesn't even know what marriage is.



Years pass and you become a baseball player. That one glorious period of fame and recognition is going to come to an end. You learn that Goku's dead and it's time for you and the others to take the lead. Time to train under God himself to protect the Earth from deadly alie

nvm you died. krillin destroys several saibamen with a single attack, while you lie lifeless in the dirt. good try though. yajirobe and the five year old do more than you.


For the next few months you sit on a planet while King Kai teaches you jack shyt.


You come back to life! Your girlfriend breaks up with you and immediately starts flirting with the guy who got you killed less than a year ago. His power is so strong and big compared to yours, flaccid and tiny. You can only stand around and cry when Frieza comes to Earth, and are filled with joy when he's defeated by a mysterious stranger from the future who gives you a dire warning that you're going to fail in another timeline as well.

After three years of training your ex hooks up with the evil spaceman and they make a baby, who you have to help change the diapers of whenever you swing by

You get punched through the chest by an old man without doing anything. You try to explain that they can steal your energy, but you could have done something before that. You just don't care anymore. You wait until Goku's nearly dead to explain the energy stealing bit, and then take him back home to babysit him as you openly acknowledge your uselessness

Oh and the future stranger is Bulma and Vegeta's badass robot fighting son, and thus the whole fate of two worlds depended on Vegeta and Bulma's amazing sweaty unprotected lovemaking. Nothing has ever depended on you or ever will

Tien does more than you when he holds off the bugman. You just do nothing. Krillin gets a robot girlfriend who barely ages. You get nothing.



A tournament comes around again and the gang is getting together for old time's sake. Even Krillin is going to enter. Good ol' Krillin. Always there for the team. Always in the fight, even when he's outclassed.

You stay in the stands with Krillin's daughter to babysit her. Your ex-girlfriend cheers on her husband and their son, who wins the junior division. You have no son.



When they all fly off to fight Majin Buu nobody even thinks about inviting you to come and help


Nobody ever thinks about you

jesus Christ that ether

 

[dabestkeptsecret]

@SmallWars writing an essay on yamcha pathetic career
Yamcha should've got the memo a long time ago like yajerobi.

 

[Supercoolmayo]

Yamcha stans man

I've seen it all

 

[King Koopa]

You live your entire life as a criminal in a desert. The only companionship you have a talking cat. One day, desperate for something of worth in your dirt-ridden existence, you try to rob a teenage girl, a pig, and a small boy. The small boy kicks your teeth out after seeing a girl makes you bashful and embarrassed, and peeping a titty makes you pass out.

When confronted with the possibility of having any wish granted by a magical dragon, your wish would be "I don't want to drop spaghetti while looking at a lady"


You then spend days creeping on these folks, watching for a way to achieve this lofty goal, you are forced to hit a little girl (one of your few [only?] victories) and then hit on her.


Eventually you are captured and saved only when the little kid turns into a giant monkey. The pig does more than you to save the day.

But it's okay, right? You finally got a girlfriend. Well, kind of. You don't really see each other that often.

You decide to show the world your stuff and enter into the Tenkaichi Budokai, the greatest martial arts tournament of all time. You are immediately eliminated in the quarter finals by an old man nobody's heard of before. You embarrass and humiliate yourself by insisting that it's a different old man in disguise before being proven a fool.

The next time you hear from Goku, he's taking on terrorist Nazis or some crazy shyt. So you gear up to raid the Hydra base and... you're not needed at all. You get a sinking feeling in your heart, like this won't be getting old soon.

You help Goku fight the fortune teller's fighters. An invisible man beats you up and you barely win when your girlfriend's boobs are gawked at by an old man. You are then beaten up by a mummy.


But the Turtle Hermit, greatest living martial arts master, has taken you in. You'll do well in the next tournament!

Nope. The heel you challenged beats and destroys you in front of a crowd. You are helpless. Like a child. Your legs, broken. By the end of the tournament, the man who brutalized you is declared champion, but he decided to be "nice" now, so you have to pretend that it's okay and you're friends after he annihilated your pride for all to see.

A demon king attacks the world and you stay with the peanut gallery. The bad guy doesn't even bother to go after you despite specifically targeting martial artists. Jesus Christ.


Speaking of God, Goku is training with God now. You feel so very small and weak. M-maybe the next tournament.... ?



The next tournament sees you headbutted in the junk and defeated handily by a middle aged tourist. True, it's God in disguise, but still. Nobody knows that. Yamcha, the desert bandit. His tournament career ended by an old man. That's your public legacy.

(Also you have a scar for some reason, which is kind of pathetic considering that the children who underwent the same training didn't get maimed like you.)

Oh, and Goku gets married before you, and he doesn't even know what marriage is.



Years pass and you become a baseball player. That one glorious period of fame and recognition is going to come to an end. You learn that Goku's dead and it's time for you and the others to take the lead. Time to train under God himself to protect the Earth from deadly alie

nvm you died. krillin destroys several saibamen with a single attack, while you lie lifeless in the dirt. good try though. yajirobe and the five year old do more than you.


For the next few months you sit on a planet while King Kai teaches you jack shyt.


You come back to life! Your girlfriend breaks up with you and immediately starts flirting with the guy who got you killed less than a year ago. His power is so strong and big compared to yours, flaccid and tiny. You can only stand around and cry when Frieza comes to Earth, and are filled with joy when he's defeated by a mysterious stranger from the future who gives you a dire warning that you're going to fail in another timeline as well.

After three years of training your ex hooks up with the evil spaceman and they make a baby, who you have to help change the diapers of whenever you swing by

You get punched through the chest by an old man without doing anything. You try to explain that they can steal your energy, but you could have done something before that. You just don't care anymore. You wait until Goku's nearly dead to explain the energy stealing bit, and then take him back home to babysit him as you openly acknowledge your uselessness

Oh and the future stranger is Bulma and Vegeta's badass robot fighting son, and thus the whole fate of two worlds depended on Vegeta and Bulma's amazing sweaty unprotected lovemaking. Nothing has ever depended on you or ever will

Tien does more than you when he holds off the bugman. You just do nothing. Krillin gets a robot girlfriend who barely ages. You get nothing.



A tournament comes around again and the gang is getting together for old time's sake. Even Krillin is going to enter. Good ol' Krillin. Always there for the team. Always in the fight, even when he's outclassed.

You stay in the stands with Krillin's daughter to babysit her. Your ex-girlfriend cheers on her husband and their son, who wins the junior division. You have no son.



When they all fly off to fight Majin Buu nobody even thinks about inviting you to come and help


Nobody ever thinks about you

I lost some of my soul reading that. Especially the bolded at the end. shyt just echoes with cold blooded ether.

 

[MidniteJay]

You live your entire life as a criminal in a desert. The only companionship you have a talking cat. One day, desperate for something of worth in your dirt-ridden existence, you try to rob a teenage girl, a pig, and a small boy. The small boy kicks your teeth out after seeing a girl makes you bashful and embarrassed, and peeping a titty makes you pass out.

When confronted with the possibility of having any wish granted by a magical dragon, your wish would be "I don't want to drop spaghetti while looking at a lady"


You then spend days creeping on these folks, watching for a way to achieve this lofty goal, you are forced to hit a little girl (one of your few [only?] victories) and then hit on her.


Eventually you are captured and saved only when the little kid turns into a giant monkey. The pig does more than you to save the day.

But it's okay, right? You finally got a girlfriend. Well, kind of. You don't really see each other that often.

You decide to show the world your stuff and enter into the Tenkaichi Budokai, the greatest martial arts tournament of all time. You are immediately eliminated in the quarter finals by an old man nobody's heard of before. You embarrass and humiliate yourself by insisting that it's a different old man in disguise before being proven a fool.

The next time you hear from Goku, he's taking on terrorist Nazis or some crazy shyt. So you gear up to raid the Hydra base and... you're not needed at all. You get a sinking feeling in your heart, like this won't be getting old soon.

You help Goku fight the fortune teller's fighters. An invisible man beats you up and you barely win when your girlfriend's boobs are gawked at by an old man. You are then beaten up by a mummy.


But the Turtle Hermit, greatest living martial arts master, has taken you in. You'll do well in the next tournament!

Nope. The heel you challenged beats and destroys you in front of a crowd. You are helpless. Like a child. Your legs, broken. By the end of the tournament, the man who brutalized you is declared champion, but he decided to be "nice" now, so you have to pretend that it's okay and you're friends after he annihilated your pride for all to see.

A demon king attacks the world and you stay with the peanut gallery. The bad guy doesn't even bother to go after you despite specifically targeting martial artists. Jesus Christ.


Speaking of God, Goku is training with God now. You feel so very small and weak. M-maybe the next tournament.... ?



The next tournament sees you headbutted in the junk and defeated handily by a middle aged tourist. True, it's God in disguise, but still. Nobody knows that. Yamcha, the desert bandit. His tournament career ended by an old man. That's your public legacy.

(Also you have a scar for some reason, which is kind of pathetic considering that the children who underwent the same training didn't get maimed like you.)

Oh, and Goku gets married before you, and he doesn't even know what marriage is.



Years pass and you become a baseball player. That one glorious period of fame and recognition is going to come to an end. You learn that Goku's dead and it's time for you and the others to take the lead. Time to train under God himself to protect the Earth from deadly alie

nvm you died. krillin destroys several saibamen with a single attack, while you lie lifeless in the dirt. good try though. yajirobe and the five year old do more than you.


For the next few months you sit on a planet while King Kai teaches you jack shyt.


You come back to life! Your girlfriend breaks up with you and immediately starts flirting with the guy who got you killed less than a year ago. His power is so strong and big compared to yours, flaccid and tiny. You can only stand around and cry when Frieza comes to Earth, and are filled with joy when he's defeated by a mysterious stranger from the future who gives you a dire warning that you're going to fail in another timeline as well.

After three years of training your ex hooks up with the evil spaceman and they make a baby, who you have to help change the diapers of whenever you swing by

You get punched through the chest by an old man without doing anything. You try to explain that they can steal your energy, but you could have done something before that. You just don't care anymore. You wait until Goku's nearly dead to explain the energy stealing bit, and then take him back home to babysit him as you openly acknowledge your uselessness

Oh and the future stranger is Bulma and Vegeta's badass robot fighting son, and thus the whole fate of two worlds depended on Vegeta and Bulma's amazing sweaty unprotected lovemaking. Nothing has ever depended on you or ever will

Tien does more than you when he holds off the bugman. You just do nothing. Krillin gets a robot girlfriend who barely ages. You get nothing.



A tournament comes around again and the gang is getting together for old time's sake. Even Krillin is going to enter. Good ol' Krillin. Always there for the team. Always in the fight, even when he's outclassed.

You stay in the stands with Krillin's daughter to babysit her. Your ex-girlfriend cheers on her husband and their son, who wins the junior division. You have no son.



When they all fly off to fight Majin Buu nobody even thinks about inviting you to come and help


Nobody ever thinks about you

 

[Un-AmericanDreamer]

Yo, these yamcha memes are brutal man.

 

[Cᵣₐₛₕ&ₜₕₑCₒᵤₚ]

This s*** got me dying ​

 

[Un-AmericanDreamer]

Goku - Cena
Vegeta - Edge
Piccolo - Booker T
Hercule - Hogan
Krillin - Rey Mysterio
Tien - Dean Malenko
Yamcha- Matt Hardy

 

[King Koopa]

this post is hilarious as fukk and i never seen a dbz episode........too poor to have cable back then

You better start breh Get some of that childhood back.