Seriously, WTF was Yamcha thinking tryin to handle 300x gravity?

[The Prince of All Saiyans]

 

[VegetasHairline]

rafters

@Barnett114

 

[The Prince of All Saiyans]

rafters

@Barnett113

 

[Dirty Mcdrawz]

You live your entire life as a criminal in a desert. The only companionship you have a talking cat. One day, desperate for something of worth in your dirt-ridden existence, you try to rob a teenage girl, a pig, and a small boy. The small boy kicks your teeth out after seeing a girl makes you bashful and embarrassed, and peeping a titty makes you pass out.

When confronted with the possibility of having any wish granted by a magical dragon, your wish would be "I don't want to drop spaghetti while looking at a lady"


You then spend days creeping on these folks, watching for a way to achieve this lofty goal, you are forced to hit a little girl (one of your few [only?] victories) and then hit on her.


Eventually you are captured and saved only when the little kid turns into a giant monkey. The pig does more than you to save the day.

But it's okay, right? You finally got a girlfriend. Well, kind of. You don't really see each other that often.

You decide to show the world your stuff and enter into the Tenkaichi Budokai, the greatest martial arts tournament of all time. You are immediately eliminated in the quarter finals by an old man nobody's heard of before. You embarrass and humiliate yourself by insisting that it's a different old man in disguise before being proven a fool.

The next time you hear from Goku, he's taking on terrorist Nazis or some crazy shyt. So you gear up to raid the Hydra base and... you're not needed at all. You get a sinking feeling in your heart, like this won't be getting old soon.

You help Goku fight the fortune teller's fighters. An invisible man beats you up and you barely win when your girlfriend's boobs are gawked at by an old man. You are then beaten up by a mummy.


But the Turtle Hermit, greatest living martial arts master, has taken you in. You'll do well in the next tournament!

Nope. The heel you challenged beats and destroys you in front of a crowd. You are helpless. Like a child. Your legs, broken. By the end of the tournament, the man who brutalized you is declared champion, but he decided to be "nice" now, so you have to pretend that it's okay and you're friends after he annihilated your pride for all to see.

A demon king attacks the world and you stay with the peanut gallery. The bad guy doesn't even bother to go after you despite specifically targeting martial artists. Jesus Christ.


Speaking of God, Goku is training with God now. You feel so very small and weak. M-maybe the next tournament.... ?



The next tournament sees you headbutted in the junk and defeated handily by a middle aged tourist. True, it's God in disguise, but still. Nobody knows that. Yamcha, the desert bandit. His tournament career ended by an old man. That's your public legacy.

(Also you have a scar for some reason, which is kind of pathetic considering that the children who underwent the same training didn't get maimed like you.)

Oh, and Goku gets married before you, and he doesn't even know what marriage is.



Years pass and you become a baseball player. That one glorious period of fame and recognition is going to come to an end. You learn that Goku's dead and it's time for you and the others to take the lead. Time to train under God himself to protect the Earth from deadly alie

nvm you died. krillin destroys several saibamen with a single attack, while you lie lifeless in the dirt. good try though. yajirobe and the five year old do more than you.


For the next few months you sit on a planet while King Kai teaches you jack shyt.


You come back to life! Your girlfriend breaks up with you and immediately starts flirting with the guy who got you killed less than a year ago. His power is so strong and big compared to yours, flaccid and tiny. You can only stand around and cry when Frieza comes to Earth, and are filled with joy when he's defeated by a mysterious stranger from the future who gives you a dire warning that you're going to fail in another timeline as well.

After three years of training your ex hooks up with the evil spaceman and they make a baby, who you have to help change the diapers of whenever you swing by

You get punched through the chest by an old man without doing anything. You try to explain that they can steal your energy, but you could have done something before that. You just don't care anymore. You wait until Goku's nearly dead to explain the energy stealing bit, and then take him back home to babysit him as you openly acknowledge your uselessness

Oh and the future stranger is Bulma and Vegeta's badass robot fighting son, and thus the whole fate of two worlds depended on Vegeta and Bulma's amazing sweaty unprotected lovemaking. Nothing has ever depended on you or ever will

Tien does more than you when he holds off the bugman. You just do nothing. Krillin gets a robot girlfriend who barely ages. You get nothing.



A tournament comes around again and the gang is getting together for old time's sake. Even Krillin is going to enter. Good ol' Krillin. Always there for the team. Always in the fight, even when he's outclassed.

You stay in the stands with Krillin's daughter to babysit her. Your ex-girlfriend cheers on her husband and their son, who wins the junior division. You have no son.



When they all fly off to fight Majin Buu nobody even thinks about inviting you to come and help


Nobody ever thinks about you

Every time this thread gets reup’d I reread this post and I’m amazed at how the potency of this ether never decreases. shyt is still
burning

 

[The Guru]

Dragon Ball needs a Lex Luthor and Yamcha is the one who should become it. Always depending on saiyan savages to save the planet, might as well call them daddy

 

[RennisDeynolds]

Bulma said "he tried to off himself in my daddy's machine on my personal property ....he fukking up the brand "

 

[FunkDoc1112]

I do not know if it was ever explained, but why could Vegeta not during the time between Cell and Buu make a wish to bring back planet Vegeta, or at least the Saiyans that Frieza killed. Does not make sense to me.

Because Vegeta doesn't actually give a fukk about the Saiyan race. Dude was when he got the news they were all destroyed by a meteor. He only cared insofar as warrior genetics and the fact that he was the strongest of them all.

 

[Ed MOTHERFUCKING G]

.... Jesus Christ.


Speaking of God, Goku is training with God now. You feel so very small and weak. M-maybe the next tournament.... ?



The next tournament sees you headbutted in the junk and defeated handily by a middle aged tourist. True, it's God in disguise, but still. Nobody knows that. Yamcha, the desert bandit. His tournament career ended by an old man. That's your public legacy.

(Also you have a scar for some reason, which is kind of pathetic considering that the children who underwent the same training didn't get maimed like you.)

Oh, and Goku gets married before you, and he doesn't even know what marriage is.



Years pass and you become a baseball player. That one glorious period of fame and recognition is going to come to an end. You learn that Goku's dead and it's time for you and the others to take the lead. Time to train under God himself to protect the Earth from deadly alie

nvm you died.

 

[The axe murderer]

Because Vegeta doesn't actually give a fukk about the Saiyan race. Dude was when he got the news they were all destroyed by a meteor. He only cared insofar as warrior genetics and the fact that he was the strongest of them all.

true. Apparently there is a time limit on how long people can be dead before reviving them with normal dragonballs like a year or so but truthfully he doesn't give a shyt. First thing he thought of when looking for the dragonballs his goal was immortality not even bringing back his people or even his pops He only talks about his pride as a saiyan. How many times does he lament the destruction of his homeworld like at all?

Its like staunch nationalists they care about the symbolic shyt they won't give a damn about the average man. dude was one of the last saiyans on earth but killed nappa with the quickness.
All this makes his L to frieza even funnier. He looked down on lower class saiyans and didn't care that they died but now Goku, being low class that you disdain, was your only hope of beating frieza

He waited all his life to surpass frieza and thought he reached his apex only to be turned into a chew toy

He was reduced to tears as he watched his ideas of the legendary super saiyan fall apart along with his pride. He lost his will to fight and started crying like a bytch. That wasn't out of anger for the race and culture he lost it was his pride that got shattered even Goku peeped it

No amount of senzu will heal that mark frieza left on him

 

[The axe murderer]

Yamcha can't win even in alt universes

 

[Ed MOTHERFUCKING G]

ask
Yamcha can't win

He better ask Bulma for the dragon radar to make that Frieza immortality wish because he has no chance at a W in this lifetime

 

[The axe murderer]

He better ask Bulma for the dragon radar to make that Frieza immortality wish because he has no chance at a W in this lifetime

He needs to be reincarnated like Uub was because he must have been a terrible person in his past life to live like this

 

[FunkDoc1112]

true. Apparently there is a time limit on how long people can be dead before reviving them with normal dragonballs like a year or so but truthfully he doesn't give a shyt. First thing he thought of when looking for the dragonballs his goal was immortality not even bringing back his people or even his pops He only talks about his pride as a saiyan. How many times does he lament the destruction of his homeworld like at all?

Its like staunch nationalists they care about the symbolic shyt they won't give a damn about the average man. dude was one of the last saiyans on earth but killed nappa with the quickness.
All this makes his L to frieza even funnier. He looked down on lower class saiyans and didn't care that they died but now Goku, being low class that you disdain, was your only hope of beating frieza

He waited all his life to surpass frieza and thought he reached his apex only to be turned into a chew toy

He was reduced to tears as he watched his ideas of the legendary super saiyan fall apart along with his pride. He lost his will to fight and started crying like a bytch. That wasn't out of anger for the race and culture he lost it was his pride that got shattered even Goku peeped it

No amount of senzu will heal that mark frieza left on him

Vegetas one of them militants that be on that God body shyt then fukk around and marry a white woman

 

[The axe murderer]

Vegetas one of them militants that be on that God body shyt then fukk around and marry a white woman

then he gon be like

 

[O.Red]

Yamcha ain't even a Saiyan tho this meme makes no sense