you said a lottttttt.....
a very uncomfortable discussion for many....
I remember seeing the kids of the rich in dc....playing tennis etc
BLACK KIDS.....
and they would almost run or sneer if the hood kids got closer....
it is the major dagger at the heart of many who have such strong feelings against Kevin...
they do not belong....would not be welcomed....and would be an alien in certain circles...
and as you said....most things CANNOT be taught....takes years..
there is a poster here who I like....he from one of those families....another lives in the same city yet loves hood shyt....
the guy with the "pedigree" and connections would say things like..."oh I know him"...
might seem a simple thing...
yet "I know him" can ruin or build....
these people talk amongst each other....
conduct is everything.....
yet yes very very good post
Oh trust, I KNOW.
I was always in a weird position because guys wanted to get married because they thought I was pretty, or because of my family. Like, legit “wouldn’t it be great if our families united” conversations. I’ll probably end up marrying someone who is in the same frat as some of my family because he’s also in the same field as some of my other relatives
. And the problem is he probably already had this sh!t planned out before I even realized it
(although he’s perfect in every way).
I won’t even lie, I haven’t even begun to live up to my family’s rep, but simply because of what I’ve learned and watching them move, I don’t reaaally stress because they already charted the path.
I’m in a weird space because my mom was a princess who was able to get by on her looks and family name, while everyone else decided to grind it out to essentially continue the legacy (in a sense). It’s part of my frustration with her, part of why I’m stressed (because I worry about her since she didn’t remarry) and a reason for my soul-searching because she was literally given so much and she took it for granted. But she had the privilege to do that.
It’s a mix of her being a little troubled so family helped her, but I can tell she got so used to it she knew it wouldn’t end. So she pretty much raised me to do the same. But life doesn’t work like that! And it feels weird to only be valued for what you look like. It’s actually made me more independent than I should be because I hate the idea of people thinking I’m incapable.
And that’s the thing with KS’s message. He wasn’t wrong at all, and there are definitely unrealistic women out there! But people always want to talk about women getting married; very few people talk about what women may go through in these “high value” circles and why the women who maintain careers may have better outcomes than the housewives. The pressure to keep up appearances and pretend things aren’t bothering you when you know your daughter may grow up to go through some of the same sh!t… When you’ve ACTUALLY witnessed some sh!t you are in no rush to get down the aisle. Being a REAL wife/mother is never-ending and thankless and you can still get dropped for the younger model.
Makes you question religion and what they teach us and why, because most of those vows and teachings aren’t followed. So when you realize it’s really all about keeping society civil and organized…You look at all of it differently.
I’m rambling. A lot of this stuff is just people being pretentious and not actually about building the community.
