I think a big reason why this loss hurts especially for me, and maybe this applies to some other people of my generation, but X came out In that time period between childhood and adolescence. I was going into 8th grade.
I was old enough to know that a lot of childish things were in the rearview mirror, but not fully old enough to understand the complexities of the world, adulthood, mortality, etc. So in many ways DMX’s kind of was the last larger than life superhero that I was able to hang onto as a child, and he helped usher a lot of ideas into my brain about religion, death, sex, friendship, betrayal, relationships, family, and other themes that adults have to deal with regularly.
it sounds corny to say that his death is sort of like the last piece of my innocence dying, especially as a man in my 30’s, but in a way it does kind of feel that way.
