Republican Rep. Byron Donalds: “I still believe in spanking. I’ve got kids. I spank my kids.

rbksNgirbauds

rbksNgirbauds

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Straight up. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

One of the two parents has to be a disciplinarian, hopefully the father. Cuz no disrespect, but when most women discipline their children, they're borderline fighting em. Like deadass throwing punches and slaps :mjlol:
 
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SupaDupaFresh

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PerrinN said:
coli brehs be like I got spanked and i turned out fine

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This right here.

All the traumatized mamas boys in this thread who dealt with this shyt surely have tons of issues in their lives and don't even recognize how the environment they grew up in has effected their thinking, their emotional responses to life changes, their self esteem, their patience, their actions, their potential, their ability to maintain healthy relationships, and their entire lives.

And of course they can't wait--I mean can't WAIT--to to emulate the emotionally immature behavior of their own parents on their own kids. Just the classic cycle of trauma repeating itself. They can't wait to return to their own hurtful experiences except now they get to be "the parent" with no fukking clue how to do the job and take it out on them.

If you a grown adult who lacks the maturity to objectively connect with your own thoughts and emotions to realize how meaningless and painful the experience of being beaten just for being a child and making childish errors--the absolute psychological terror and agony--than you don't have the maturity to maintain a respectable household or raise kids. You're still mentally a damn child yourself, still living in the world of your parents. Still frightened of condemning and being "disrespectful" towards your emotionally immature mommy as if shes still there waiting to beat you mad if you dare speak for your own feelings. Something immature parents feel uncomfortable with and threatened by. So you are still convincing yourself, just as when you were a child, that taking beatings is endearing. Still have to convince yourself that her abuse was deep, misunderstood love. Because the truth that your mama is just a lady who rolled around in bed with a man, had you, was mentally unhealthy and had no idea what she was doing; and these were the simple minded rampages of someone impatient, lazy, immature, and was unfit to be a great parent to you is tough to bear. You couldnt do it as a kid and you still cant do it as an adult. Still completely unable to fully respect yourself and think for yourself in fear. That's trauma. When the shyt is that strong. That's childhood trauma.

Not even the mildest curiosity to perhaps read a book. Try therapy. Study the science behind human behavior, child behavior, and parenting from people who commit their lives to this study so that you can be equipped with healthy, effective techniques and be an even better parent and partner to your spouse than your folks before you. Nope. Just blindly relying on all they know and experienced from their own parents. Parents who were also traumatized and completely ignorant to better, proven ideas behind parenting and childrens psychology. Not even the mildest curiosity to at least study a bit about parenting from objective and reputable resources before you bring kids of your own into this world. Nope. Just be a good little mamas boy, tell yourself youre "fine" and the way you was raised was endearing, everyone who didt get beat was soft and weak, and then ignorantly treat your own kids just like dear ole mommy and pap pap did things.

Just like black folks man...always obsessed with parent/ancestor worship and latching onto bullshyt ass traditions we think defines us as "black." Like routinely beating your children and making silence and obedience towards you the golden standard of their behavior. Stupid shyt our great great gandparents learned from brutal cac slavemasters who would never treat their lovely youngins that way, and passed that trauma on. shyt that keeps us from progressing mentally and intellectually in any way.

And then we wonder why generation after generation more and more of our youth find some type of odd infatuation with meaningless and trivial violence. The stuck up "elders" who raised these kids look at the newspaper headlines: "16 year old teen shot by 15 year old in gang dispute," and ask stupid questions like "who's teaching these kids that violence is the way to resolve issues?" We did. All of us. And we are all accountable.

If you was beat by your lazy ass parents that couldn't be bothered to engage with you in healthier ways, just know whatever success and accomplishments you've had in life could've been twice as much if not for that experience and how it's shaped your communication, self esteem, thinking, and worldviews, whether you are conscious of it or not.

And before someone tries to get slick, yes I am speaking passionately from my own experiences and this is an issue in our community I feel so deeply about. Please stop beating your kids just because your parents did. Its not an endearing tradition of black culture. It didn't help you. It didnt help your parents. Kids who did not get beat by their parents are not beneath you in maturity or grit or strength (the opposite actually). It didn't make you better. It held you back. You'd be a healthier, better, more successful person today having never experienced that. Enough with this shyt. And I am so happy that young folks today are taking mental health seriously and not being completely ignorant to raising children like the generations before. The future is brighter for our next generation being raised by parents who actually give a damn about the science behind mental health before rolling around in bed with someone.
 
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Bondye Vodou

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Billy Ocean said:
fukk these "studies". People of all races, creeds and walks of life been spanking/physically disciplining their kids for centuries. Bunch of wildly successfull and standup people got spankings when they were kids. I had to go upside my son head a few weeks ago for getting waaay too spicy with the mouth with his moms.
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A lot of these "STUDIES" are contrived bs
 
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SupaDupaFresh

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NatiboyB said:
I do spankings and it is just another tool for discipline. Run your household how you choose. And idgaf about those studies. Guess I’m conservative on this.
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You are. You enjoy being on the wrong side of history and sticking with failed, ineffective, and counter productive ideology regardless of facts or science. The ideal conservative.
 
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SupaDupaFresh

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Jekyll said:
fukk them studies, these kids in this new generation are the most disrespectful lil fukks around.

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That sort of behavior is learned. Children learn and emulate from their parents how to handle anger, frustration, disappointment, negative emtions. A child doesn't learn how to handle their anger like that--with fist fighting and wrestling--on their own in a household where they never seen or felt that.

What you saw there is exactly what this tragic girl's home looks like every day. This is not the knee jerk reaction of a kid raised in a safe environment full of comfort, healthy expression, and talking. That is not what this child would be accustomed to, or comfortable with, even when he is angry. This is the behavior of someone who lives and experiences violence and fear. Who has found a familiar comfort with this behavior. Mama probably the type to drag her by her hair and kick her on the floor and shyt. And yall think just because they fear you they're not internalizing the behavior.

Kids don't do what you say, they do what you do. Kids know how to emulate what is demonstrated to them. You don't actually learn how to do something from being scorned and instructed by lazy parents, you know how to do it from seeing and emulating. Being feared and being respected are two completely different things. Children behave at home however they are forced to behave in order to feel safe--invisible. They internalize what they actually experience.

The mother of this child, like most ignorant mothers who produce children who go about life like this, has no idea what she's doing and why her "daughter is like this." Will she try new methods? New approaches? Consult a professional? Nope. Probably just do the only thing she knows how to do. That's the real tragedy. This child never stood a chance at a healthy life, and it ain't because she comes from a safe environment and experienced engagement instead of violence from her parents.
 
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SupaDupaFresh

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The fact that so many of yall really and truly feel so uncomfortable with a child's behavior despite being a grown ass adult, that you can hit them shows me how deep trauma runs. How deeply so many black men are stuck in their own scary childhoods and could benefit from therapy if they'd just give it a shot.
 
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The Velvet Soul said:
That sort of behavior is learned. Children learn and emulate from their parents how to handle anger, frustration, disappointment, negative emtions. A child doesn't learn how to handle their anger like that--with fist fighting and wrestling--on their own in a household where they never seen or felt that.

What you saw there is exactly what this tragic girl's home looks like every day. This is not the knee jerk reaction of a kid raised in a safe environment full of comfort, healthy expression, and talking. That is not what this child would be accustomed to, or comfortable with, even when he is angry. This is the behavior of someone who lives and experiences violence and fear. Who has found a familiar comfort with this behavior. Mama probably the type to drag her by her hair and kick her on the floor and shyt. And yall think just because they fear you they're not internalizing the behavior.

Kids don't do what you say, they do what you do. Kids know how to emulate what is demonstrated to them. You don't actually learn how to do something from being scorned and instructed by lazy parents, you know how to do it from seeing and emulating. Being feared and being respected are two completely different things. Children behave at home however they are forced to behave in order to feel safe--invisible. They internalize what they actually experience.

The mother of this child, like most ignorant mothers who produce children who go about life like this, has no idea what she's doing and why her "daughter is like this." Will she try new methods? New approaches? Consult a professional? Nope. Probably just do the only thing she knows how to do. That's the real tragedy. This child never stood a chance at a healthy life, and it ain't because she comes from a safe environment and experienced engagement instead of violence from her parents.
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I keep trying to get people to recognize that prison is filled with individuals who experienced physical child abuse and are somewhat desensitized to violence because of it.
 
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