Reddit post going viral after girl tries to compliment her boyfriend. Is being called “husband material” an insult?

[Reptile]

I think his problem with the situation is that she essentially told him that he has to give more for the same outcome that other guys would get for free. That is probably what he heard from that conversation.

Thats what he heard because thats what she said. Why would a woman even be comfortable saying something like that if they didnt mean it to some extent. And thing is she's not confused because she doesnt think she meant it that way (because she did), she's confused because she, as a woman; doesnt see whats wrong with being in the streets and then settling for a dude; ALOT of women see nothing wrong with that.


EDIT : To answer the bolded, they were drinking. Thats why she was comfortable.

 

[ItsPeople]

Be the safe one brehs

 

[The Fade]

Im planning my ghosting method as soon as a bytch says that to me

 

[At30wecashout]

I really need someone to explain to me what’s wrong with her saying this since I am just a mere female

“Hey, remember when we first started dating and you used to take girls on trips and do the most for holidays? How come you don’t do that for me?”

Quoth a jackass:

“They were hot and I knew that was the only way to get them.”

Now you have essentially been told that while there were plenty of fish in the sea, he had to come with real bait foe the big bass but he was able to easily catch your guppy ass with with the flesh of the last fish that was stuck on the hook. Much like the woman in OP, you have been told subtly that his efforts and desires for other are greater than what he shows you. A husband is who you keep when your fun has been had. You are telling you guy he was not the fun AND the husband, he was what happens when you are “tired of the games” and posting flabby photos on Plenty of Fish with wuotes like
“My children come first.”

After two years woth someone, ypu wpuld think retrospectively that they would say hell yes they would and they would hope for the same result(a relationship). If not, they would at least do it because they find you attractive enough to act on their desires. She said she has none outside of the framework of their relationship. He is safe. Safe is a sucka.

 

[OliviaTwist]

that nikka just insecure. if it was someone she had just met i would have understood But she been in a whole relationship with dude for 2+ years.

I think this is where I’m confused. It’s not like she told some guy that’s been in the friend zone for years this that’s watching her get ran thru by her fwbs. It’s her literal boyfriend. Why wouldn’t your bf of 2.5 years be someone you’d want more with?

 

[At30wecashout]

I think this is where I’m confused. It’s not like she told some guy that’s been in the friend zone for years this that’s watching her get ran thru by her fwbs. It’s her literal boyfriend. Why wouldn’t your bf of 2.5 years be someone you’d want more with?

He would like to believe that he isnt seen as a husband at first sight. People dont work that way. She has to find him attractive first but she basically relegated him to “long term goal” and we all know not everyone gets to marry who they wanted. They married who they could.

 

[MischievousMonkey]

I really need someone to explain to me what’s wrong with her saying this since I am just a mere female

If she had said you're not someone I'd JUST want to hookup with it'd have been fine

She said you're not someone I'd want to hookup with period

Implying he's not attractive to her sexually. His other husband-like qualities make up for that deficiency

 

[Menna]

https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/s/HmCv7S6HCz

I think I destroyed our relationship trying to compliment my boyfriend

“My boyfriend and I are both 28 years old and together for 2.5 years. Yesterday night we were drinking and one thing led to another and I tried to compliment him by saying he is not someone who I would hookup or be a fwb with but marry. I thought everything was fine but he seemed extremely distraught after that. I realized how he understood it and tried to clarify it but he is still the same this morning. He told me he needs space to think for a while and left the house. All my friends tell me I messed it up and guys tell me it’s not a compliment and most men will understand it differently. I think I destroyed our relationship and I am panicking right now.”

I saw the post the guy too sensitive…if everything else good it’s whatever

 

[god shamgod]

She said dude was “distraught & needed space”

 

[Uachet]

I think this is where I’m confused. It’s not like she told some guy that’s been in the friend zone for years this that’s watching her get ran thru by her fwbs. It’s her literal boyfriend. Why wouldn’t your bf of 2.5 years be someone you’d want more with?

I wonder why you ignored all of the other explanations for the one that made it easy for you to continue to be confused? You did not want the truth, you were fishing for an answer that allowed you to remain unempathetic to what may be going through his head. It really is demonstrating just how disingenuous your original post was.

 

[gho3st]

He would like to believe that he isnt seen as a husband at first sight. People dont work that way. She has to find him attractive first but she basically relegated him to “long term goal” and we all know not everyone gets to marry who they wanted. They married who they could.

she literally met him at 25 give or take. She aint been ran thru yet. Thats why i said the nikka is insecure.
he basically was already fwb before he became bf .so why get Mad?

 

[Uachet]

she literally met him at 25 give or take. She aint been ran thru yet. Thats why i said the nikka is insecure.
he basically was already fwb before he became bf .so why get Mad?

Ok, you don't know what she has done before him. So to make a determination on her status, based on the age of 25 is ridiculous on either side of the isle. There are women walking around with multiple 100s of previous sexual partners by the age of 20, and there are women walking around with only less than 4 partners at the age of 30. There is no clue what she has, because she did not tell us. Age, is definitely no indicator when the age is 25.

 

[At30wecashout]

she literally met him at 25 give or take. She aint been ran thru yet. Thats why i said the nikka is insecure.
he basically was already fwb before he became bf .so why get Mad?

25 is old enough to have had fun. But whether or not she did, this was basic “Of Course!” Type of thing. My gf once asked me if I would have asked her out if out coworkers didnt set us up. I said no cause I was there about my bread…but they were right and I wouldnt change a thing.

I told the truth and still let her know her value. Her price today isnt yeaterdays price. If she asked me now if I would one-night her, I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes because I cant imagine the alternative the same way. I know her and want her. It should have been the same feeling and logic for the gf in OP.

 

[OliviaTwist]

He would like to believe that he isnt seen as a husband at first sight. People dont work that way. She has to find him attractive first but she basically relegated him to “long term goal” and we all know not everyone gets to marry who they wanted. They married who they could.

See I think this is where women and men differ because most women would want to assume their guy fell in love with them at first sight and wanted more than just to have sex.

If she had said you're not someone I'd JUST want to hookup with it'd have been fine

She said you're not someone I'd want to hookup with period

Implying he's not attractive to her sexually. His other husband-like qualities make up for that deficiency

This makes sense! So like I can see why a MAN would take it that way but I truly don’t think this lady meant any harm or even meant she wasn’t attracted to him. This is something I would have said to my man glad I didn’t Jesus Christ


Thank yall for not crucifying me for asking I genuinely wanted to know what the fuss was about

 

[OliviaTwist]

I wonder why you ignored all of the other explanations for the one that made it easy for you to continue to be confused? You did not want the truth, you were fishing for an answer that allowed you to remain unempathetic to what may be going through his head. It really is demonstrating just how disingenuous your original post was.

Because I was replying to those but then the more recent notifications came thru and I decided to address those instead. You can actually see my reply to those where I thanked them for clarifying but you probably just want to argue.

But you got it