Rectal Exam Unappreciation Thread(NSFW)

[Wesley Pipes quotes]

Me: Hey doc, I'm here again for the rectal exam. I came by yesterday and you told me to report back at this time.

Doc: Yeh Yeh, I really don't know why they make you young guys do this. It's not necessary.

At this point. I'm thinking I don't have to do this shh. I figure he was just going to check me off and go on about his day. I hadn't taken the exam in about 3 years, so I completely forgot the awkwardness of the process. In those 3 years, my homophobia has increased greatly.

I hear the snap from him putting on his gloves.

Doc: Drop your trousers, lean forward on that table with your elbows resting.

Me:*Thinks* (Relax breh, dude is just going to check around, make sure nothing is crazy in there.

*Doc lubes up his fingers, full insertion*



Doc: Relax your buttocks.

Man at this point I'm holding on for dear life. I feel so violated. I think he went too deep. It was the longest 20 seconds of my life.

*Doc pulls out*



*hands me tissues to wipe the Vaseline out my butt*

Now I know how Ving Rhames felt in Pulp Fiction. My entire day was ruined. I feel like a piece of me was taken. Brehs fck this exam.

I have to do it every 3 years for work.

 

[Wesley Pipes quotes]

*crickets*

I should delete this thread before it is used as ammo.

I just want to save you nggas from the shh I went thru. No man should have to experience that.

 

[newworldafro]

Are these the board members of your company???

 

[Banned Account12]

 

[Wesley Pipes quotes]

Are these board members of your company???

lol that's funny. But serious. Am I the only dude who's been through this on this forum?

 

[Change]

I had it a few weeks ago. First one. Didn't like it.

I didn't know there was jelly or whatever and they didn't give me any tissues so when i pulled up draws I thought shyt was coming out and hightailed it to the bathroom.

I still feel violated. Though I did have a woman do it. It takes all you got to not donkey kick out and hurt someone when that finger hits.

 

[Wesley Pipes quotes]

I had it a few weeks ago. First one. Didn't like it.

I didn't know there was jelly or whatever and they didn't give me any tissues so when i pulled up draws I thought shyt was coming out and hightailed it to the bathroom.

I still feel violated. Though I did have a woman do it. It takes all you got to not donkey kick out and hurt someone when that finger hits.

I feel your pain man. I really do. I know I'm going to be in your position. I don't feel right at all. And he didn't give you a tissue? That's so fouled up.

 

[MR. SNIFLES]

I'VE HAD LIKE 8 EXAMS IN THE PAST YEAR. HAD A COLONOSCOPY TOO. I'LL NEVER ASK A WOMAN TO LET ME POKE HER DOOKIE MAKER. I WAS GOING TO GET A COLONIC UNTIL I FOUND OUT WHAT THEY HAD TO STICK UP YOUR BUTT. shyt LOOKED LIKE A 4-5INCH DILDO. FUUUUUUCK DAT.

THING IS I GOTTA GO BACK TO SEE THE COLOLRECTAL DOCTOR FOR THE 1YEAR FOLLOW UP. IF SHE LOOKS AT MY ASS I'M BACKSLAPPING THAT HOE.

 

[Wesley Pipes quotes]

I'VE HAD LIKE 8 EXAMS IN THE PAST YEAR. HAD A COLONOSCOPY TOO. I'LL NEVER ASK A WOMAN TO LET ME POKE HER DOOKIE MAKER. I WAS GOING TO GET A COLONIC UNTIL I FOUND OUT WHAT THEY HAD TO STICK UP YOUR BUTT. shyt LOOKED LIKE A 4-5INCH DILDO. FUUUUUUCK DAT.

THING IS I GOTTA GO BACK TO SEE THE COLOLRECTAL DOCTOR FOR THE 1YEAR FOLLOW UP. IF SHE LOOKS AT MY ASS I'M BACKSLAPPING THAT HOE.

8 exams in a year?

 

[Mandizi]

I had it a few weeks ago. First one. Didn't like it.

I didn't know there was jelly or whatever and they didn't give me any tissues so when i pulled up draws I thought shyt was coming out and hightailed it to the bathroom.

I still feel violated. Though I did have a woman do it. It takes all you got to not donkey kick out and hurt someone when that finger hits.

 

[MR. SNIFLES]

8 exams in a year?

2 THE FIRST TIME IN THE HOSPITAL
3 THE SECOND TIME
1 FROM THE COLORECTAL SURGEON
1 FROM THE SAME LADY AFTER 3 STAY IN HOSPITAL
1 FROM THE BOOTY DOCTOR TO TEST FOR ROIDS

ALL FROM SEPTEMBER TO JUNE.

 

[Loose]

My father had prostate cancer so.. yea i will be getting them proudly

 

[Wesley Pipes quotes]

My father had prostate cancer so.. yea i will be getting them proudly

I know it. It's a necessary evil but there has to be a better, more gentle way.

 

[Thatrogueassdiaz]

I've had a few of those exams before. I found out I had this rare bladder disease where I didn't have any lining in my bladder. shyt was inflaming my prostate. I had to get fingered several times for it.

No lie, my former Primary Care Physician made me lay on my back with my jeans to my ankles. That nikka fingered me, penis up

I really think he was a fakkit.

 

[newworldafro]

I know it. It's a necessary evil but there has to be a better, more gentle way.

Did a report on this in 9th grade......

Question though....since black men seem to be more prone according to all the health information.....what exactly is it that is doing it?? is the the diet...

Cause similar to skin cancer??? I've never heard of prostate cancer epidemic among Africans either (although they have their own disease issues)....so is it basically the diet of red meat in Black Men???