1) stay away from men who didn't grow up with two active LOVING parents in their lives....men from single parent homes = no go.
2) if you ever hear him say shyt like "well i respect my mom and the women in my family
" RUN! don't walk RUN! he's basically lowkey saying "fukk the rest of you...you're not even worth my basic human respect initially until you jump thru hoops to prove yourself". do not think you can change or conform this type of guy that doesn't initially give everyone the same fair shot regardless of gender. it's best to just run like Usain Bolt from guys that even hint at that mentality.
3) only mess with highly ambitious and "driven" men. ask what profession his parent are in
first date!!! if his parents are engineers..lawyers ...doctors etc ....chances are they've passed down an elite work ethic ...the importance of academia and instilled a hardcore will to succeed in him.
4) Stay away from the "dreamers" always talking about what they're "gonna do". these types may initially deceive you into believing they are "Driven and Ambitious" with all their talk and delusions of grandeur....but ACTIONS speak louder than words. if he's claims he's an "artist" ask for PROOF. say "i'd like to see some of some of your work" and ask questions like "have you been featured in any galleries ...editorials" etc. if he's not actively and fervently trying to achieve the goals he's talking about.....nip it in the bud ASAP! deadbeat alert.
5) stay away from men who don't like animals. if he's like
when he hears about animal abuse or sees a stray puppy on the road and doesn't even bat an eyelash...it's a NO GO! (just trust me on this one....it sounds petty but it's actually an IMPORTANT character\ethics and empathy level assessment test ;))
6) Never be with a guy who loves you or admires you less than you love and admire him. it should be equal admiration from him...or he should be feeling you MORE (or at least more than you let on initially). unfortunately in most relationships one person is always the 'chaser' and one person is being "chased". that's just the way it is...it's the nature of relationships. the way i see most dating going nowadays...the odds error highly in mens favor as far as who has more to lose esp. in the beginning stages. it's just better that he's the one chasing you and not the other way around. (just trust me on this one as well) which leads me to my next point....
7) if you DO manage to find a great guy. one that's driven...respectful...from a good family....openminded and appreciative of you. BE ATTENTIVE! go out of your way to show him that he means the world to you by putting him first when at all possible. consider his needs when doing everyday things. for instance - shopping? call him and ask him he needs you to pick up anything for him. buy HIM gifts when ever possible...shows that your not just sitting around waiting for handouts and that are actually willing to reciprocate, match and EXCEED anything he does for you (yes even financially). try to get into the things he likes .....even if you don't necessarily like said thing or suck at it. just by trying to put him first and making the effort shows where your heart is concerning him. Cook for him. you know what they say about a mans\heart stomach correlation? it's true.
stay in shape by keeping a gym membership ...dress nicely ..wear nice perfumes and keep yourself up for him. let him know you take pride in keeping yourself looking good FOR HIM and that it's not for anyone else. BE LOYAL to him and take on the aire of other dudes not existing to you. that means cutting excessive male "friends" from your social circle...purging numbers out of your phone and falling back on all that excessive social networking.
the key is doing so much for him that he'd genuinely feel like he were LOSING the best thing he's ever had if he were to fukk things up with you. (this advice is only for super LOYAL dudes tho. so becareful and choose wisely.)
8) and finally the best piece of advice i've ever gotten about men (from a MALE friend of mine ironically):
if you ever meet a guy and something about his eyes scares you or just gives you weird feeling in your gut...even if you're not exactly sure why
....RUN. don't walk. run.
TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS when it comes to men. our instincts is the biggest protection we have as women and the eyes say so much more than you can imagine. it may just save you from heartbreak or even more importantly save your LIFE.
imma say yall got bright futures ahead of ya
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