Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Ohene]

I think that if you are plugged in - as corny as it sounds - then its hard not to see the writing on the wall. If you are serious about starting a family you will quickly see that something is just fundamentally wrong with how people view and approach relationships. And for the ones who arent, there is often a lot of baggage you have to deal with once you get into your late 20s. As a result, you are confronted by a decision; do I ignore logic/reason and take the plunge or risk by committing to this damaged or delusional person? Or, do I instead hold out for somebody who is relatively aligned with my values and mentality at the risk of being single.

For example, I met a nice, decently attractive woman but after a few dates she basically told me how she was trying to abstain until marriage and she wasnt a virgin. That's an example of delusion. She was nice and conservative the way I like so I continued seeing her (whilst smashing other women) to see if I she was worth the wait (knowing she probably wasnt). In getting to know her I realized that she was kinda an unaffectionate robot which was good in some ways and bad in others. I was able to realize and discover why and thats where the damaged part comes in. She had been raped by an ex before. She had been physically assaulted (choked) by said ex before. AND HE WAS THE ONE WHO BROKE UP WITH HER. On top of that she had a bad relationship with her pops and a codependent relationship with her mom amongst other things such as having student debt and being unemployed. It all made sense why she was abstaining, even though she might have not pieced it together. Nice girl...but simply too damaged and nothing going on. I chucked the deuces.

And I have many other stories like this from the last year alone. This is the truth a lot of men (and perhaps women) are facing. I said it pages ago that I dont necessarily WANT to be alone but I will be content with it as a result, because between the delusion and damage these women are carrying, the juice simply isnt worth the squeeze 95% of the time. This is my opinion at age 33. I started to see around 5 years ago probably; but in the last 2 years I I have come to accept it

To add to this, I am not a religious person by any means but one thing we can all agree on is that there is some wisdom in spots in the bible/from our elders.

We are not meant to frolick and gallivant. There is truly value in meeting and sticking to one person maybe a few more and settling down early in life. The more bodies and fun we accumulate the more addicted we get to that dopamine, the more damaged we become by bad experiences or disappointments. Its a catch 22 though because sometimes there is a lot to be gained or learned through experience but overall it aint worth it…especially for these women. After all, what if she got married to that abusive guy and was “stuck” In a marriag with him from a young age and that was all she knew so it was normalized to her. Hmm… lol

 

[Shadow King]

At what point is this evident though? The burden of initiation is always on the man so 9 times out of 10 we're initiating anyway.

It ain't just you and it ain't just Toronto. At the end of the day the prevailing forces in 21st century relationships, casual or not, are lust, entertainment, and drama. Have the raw physical/aesthetic magnetism, possess and display your resources and knowledge in multiple fields, and the activity level and nonchalance to keep them at arm's length, clamoring for more and chasing. And that's on top of the jadedness and delusions prevalent in them.

This is why no matter what I'm told on here, I'm not playing till I have every good card in hand. Till I'm a 7'5" guard with a 50" inch vertical and the wet jumper from the other 3 point line. Till I'm a 6'8" 320 pound linebacker with a 4.2 40, 60 reps on the bench and a 50 Wonderlic. If your birth year is 199X as male you might as well stack every advantage possible, more so if you're a "late bloomer".

@skyrunner1 the above is November 2017 and I was actually responding to Ohene then also lol.
The next 2 are this past September.

I thought I replied to this. I know it is, and now I have a real path to building my life/routine as I need to. Whoever comes around gotta fit, and be good with never getting that contract.

When I said "typed a police report describing Bigfoot", I'm saying that the shìt I want to see change is mythology. It's not happening.

To me this is an inversion of that same energy your peers will tell someone my age (31) regarding the nostalgia y'all have over phenomena from the mid 80s-2000. "You weren't alive/a baby, you had to be there." Yeah you're technically "here" but you're not in the thick of it at this point. A 45-50 y/o man is past the angst of missing or making particular dating/social benchmarks.

I've never heard/seen NAWALT as an acronym until now and had to look it up lol. Not sure I'd call Looksmaxing a cope as it's an active path of improvement, though it gets extreme.

The bolded is more or less where I'm at. If this is your way of pushing back and trying to say "you don't try/date enough", your be correct, because I don't feel I need to. I'm in an extremely small minority but I believe that personal experience can be and purposely gets overrated in order to herd the sheep to the median.

If you can observe a strong enough pattern or school of thought within six degrees or separation, and match that pattern/philosophy to groups in different regions expressing or dealing with the same thing, you should have enough of a simulation to understand how you think you need to move in your time and place. I don't believe I need a dozen exes to say I'm "right or wrong".

I work a blue collar job with long hours. 13-15 hours a day, we get breaks but immediate traffic discourages you from leaving so you're locked in twice as long as the average person. Is not solidified but that's supposedly going to change soon. The hours will still be odd but not quite as it is currently.

3 years there. Year 1 I entered 6 figures for the first time in life at 28/29 because of COVID backlog. Year 2 & 3 I didn't, which is the norm due to seniority or a lack thereof, but moving forward I'll have to be sick or injured for a good deal of the year to miss 100K again.

Casual dress so "I love a man in uniform" shìt while running errands doesn't work.

I'm in the gym. Pretty much have to adapt my sessions to hit everything due to work. Sometimes traffic is okay enough for a group of us get to a nearby gym to work a particular muscle group for about an hour, but mostly I grind solo, full body work 3x a week. If the schedule changes as anticipated, I will try to shift to an Upper/Lower/Upper/Lower split, but I may not get to because...

A more open schedule allows me to commit to finally getting into boxing/Muy Thai/eventually some kind of grappling. That in itself is a workout so 4 lifting sessions a week may be too much. I'd also like to return to music and story writing.

The regimen I just described places a priority on athletic clothing and not fashion. I can't justify spending what's necessary for a grown man to "look good", and frankly my parents probably warped my threshold of what expensive is or isn't.

I also am not with the barber every week or every other week. I was taught every other week but I originally would forgo it for creative sacrifice of vanity while recording music. As I got older I came into a sense that our fixation on perfect harlines and a low cut is a bit of programming. I also believe that black men don't let their natural hairlines breathe and this eventually lose it.

2020 Honda Passport bought in 2022. Likely keeping it till it no longer runs or I can upgrade/modernize for next to nothing. I eventually want a luxury vehicle but that's over a decade ahead and it still be a weekend you not a daily driver. Behold another chance blown to demonstrate my income.

I live at home and my grandmother cannot take care of herself so she's here also. Outside of extreme or emergency circumstances, I'm not renting because I realized I don't purchase within the window of this decade, I will be priced out of owning. A decent house in a decent area isn't less than half a mil here. So until my climb up the pay scale ladder starts, and I have better control of my hours to ensure I'm getting the same baseline income every week and therefore every month, I'll be here.

All in all, I'm looking forward towards my hobbies, physique/health, and building my own foundation instead of having to shack up with someone just to say I left the nest, which a lot of men/people do. Physique is the most superficial thing here.

My progression is largely insular and left of a proverbial center that would put me in front of women. Oh well.

Maybe one day my body will get to the point where 3PT shots become short jumpers and layups become two-handed dunks based on vibes and attraction. Maybe not. I still gotta be healthy and strong regardless.

Maybe one day a mixtape of mine might make some noise, or a story i pen gets developed. Most likely not. I still gotta express.

Just about any man can work to "have" a woman, myself included. But how much work and how worthy is the reward is the question most men in prime dating market age asking. A generation of women who have been cultivated and enabled to be extra hypocritical about what they should bring into a partnership ain't it.

The sighting of Young Chop Anonymous with Great Value Brittany Renner at the movies/restaurant is a popular dismissal tactic here but it's unknown what dude has to deal with to be sighted with her. What the financial weight is. The emotional weight is. If he's actually enjoying that body regularly or just enough to get a baby and keep him around as the workhouse. It's always assumed he mouthpieced/late night talk show hosted his way in.

Most of what I'm talking about applies to American women at large but white and black women the most and with our women there are cultural and historic details that amplify the worst of the two genders not being on the same page, with our female half trying to standardize things that never applied and are currently realistic, while broadcasting that the supplemental functions needed on their end are controlling/misogynistic/outdated.

I understand the value of a great partnership but I'm past the phase of my 20s where not having immediate/superficial success getting women is baffling or stressing me. And I understand that my unwillingness to enter a legal marriage in this world as is makes me a time waster for 99.9% of women. If I did meet someone, they'd be privy to this information early on.

But dying alone doesn't scare me the way it does others because I've been forged at that way for most of 3 decades already.

The variable entering February 2025 is that the women who made me are moving out and I'm taking over the apartment, so I will finally be on my own.

But all in all the more things change the more they stay the same. I've conceded that the deck won't be completely stacked for superficial reasons (I refuse to sit in a barber's chair 3x in 1 lunar cycle and it's unlikely to invest in a wardrobe I won't use) in exchange for internal things.

Getting back to my music and sci-fi writing, getting to the gun range, starting boxing/Muy Thai, getting halfway to the voracious reader I grew up as, is more important that hunting for women.

If it's about physical touch, things are coming down the pipeline that should allow me to get foolish and book hoes cats jerk off to a couple times a year...a no-no here but oh well.

 

[skyrunner1]

I'm gonna quote a couple of my own posts, one in this very thread, to try summarize my end goal or at least mentality, but I wanna address this.

I'm very big on human nature and blueprints/systems and how culture/nature trickles down. What you just said comes off like another primal belief/instinct. In fact it's probably the yang to the yin of "man needs woman to be happy".

You probably think what you think about MGTOW because A) that older demographic of men is your first meeting with it, but more prominently B) you probably think men need to "try" and have that experience before going down that path... because it's a norm as a species to pair and procreate.

I believe experience can be, or sometimes flat out is, overrated. If you've observed a pattern hold true enough times, you've essentially simulated what you could've/would've/should've (couldn't/wouldn't/shouldn't) done or be doing. I think cats my age down are on this even if they don't articulate it this way.

With this ideology/label (MGTOW), 15 years ago it was extremely niche and a source of laughter IRL. Today, it's not the standard but it's much harder to downplay. In 2040 it will likely be the standard for Gen Alpha young men.

Those 15 years ago as someone who left high school in 2011 that's the last (sub)generation on that "group of 5 go to the mall and clown each other for not talking to girls" wave. Someone 5 years my junior is just starting to like girls/women on a romantic/sexual level, and his first introduction to what women want as the social media era dawns, is "leave us alone".

This was the catcalling/sexual harassment era that preceded #MeToo, and what young brehs literally grew up on along with the slow growth of men saying "leave em alone" over the 2010s decade. Between that and social media inflation women's (self)value, 25 year old cats understand that "trying" and eventually getting to 45 with alimony/child support kicking them into "let me go my own way" puts them too far gone.

You never answered the actual question in QP breh? I dont know if my post came off wrong way, I assume because @Ohene also added but the main thing was as long as you are laser focus on what YOUR actual goal is then none of what those around you matters.

Its your life and live it to fullest as you see fit.

 

[Shadow King]

You never answered the actual question in QP breh? I dont know if my post came off wrong way, I assume because @Ohene also added but the main thing was as long as you are laser focus on what YOUR actual goal is then none of what those around you matters.

Its your life and live it to fullest as you see fit.

I'm on my 01/02 Nas and 24 Kendrick shìt

 

[skyrunner1]

I think that if you are plugged in - as corny as it sounds - then its hard not to see the writing on the wall. If you are serious about starting a family you will quickly see that something is just fundamentally wrong with how people view and approach relationships. And for the ones who arent, there is often a lot of baggage you have to deal with once you get into your late 20s. As a result, you are confronted by a decision; do I ignore logic/reason and take the plunge or risk by committing to this damaged or delusional person? Or, do I instead hold out for somebody who is relatively aligned with my values and mentality at the risk of being single.

For example, I met a nice, decently attractive woman but after a few dates she basically told me how she was trying to abstain until marriage and she wasnt a virgin. That's an example of delusion. She was nice and conservative the way I like so I continued seeing her (whilst smashing other women) to see if I she was worth the wait (knowing she probably wasnt). In getting to know her I realized that she was kinda an unaffectionate robot which was good in some ways and bad in others. I was able to realize and discover why and thats where the damaged part comes in. She had been raped by an ex before. She had been physically assaulted (choked) by said ex before. AND HE WAS THE ONE WHO BROKE UP WITH HER. On top of that she had a bad relationship with her pops and a codependent relationship with her mom amongst other things such as having student debt and being unemployed. It all made sense why she was abstaining, even though she might have not pieced it together. Nice girl...but simply too damaged and nothing going on. I chucked the deuces.

And I have many other stories like this from the last year alone. This is the truth a lot of men (and perhaps women) are facing. I said it pages ago that I dont necessarily WANT to be alone but I will be content with it as a result, because between the delusion and damage these women are carrying, the juice simply isnt worth the squeeze 95% of the time. This is my opinion at age 33. I started to see around 5 years ago probably; but in the last 2 years I I have come to accept it

Im in the belly of the beast, I been telling my close brehs for over a decade and a half to hold on to what they got because these streets are arkham city/asylum. The stuff people say now was probably broadcast on social media from some literal city girl from my part of town, (spawns of trina and such). Brehs are trying to thread the needle now and the thread is on fire basically.

You used to be able to look at person and play the odds based on a few things to know who to avoid for BS but the infection has spread soo rapidly and deep that even super conservative type got bird thought process, I know you got stories because the shyt I have heard myself will have you like wtf is going on

 

[skyrunner1]

This is why no matter what I'm told on here, I'm not playing till I have every good card in hand. Till I'm a 7'5" guard with a 50" inch vertical and the wet jumper from the other 3 point line. Till I'm a 6'8" 320 pound linebacker with a 4.2 40, 60 reps on the bench and a 50 Wonderlic. If your birth year is 199X as male you might as well stack every advantage possible, more so if you're a "late bloomer".

Created Wemby in the quick lil gems thread, anything is possible!

 

[Ohene]

Im in the belly of the beast, I been telling my close brehs for over a decade and a half to hold on to what they got because these streets are arkham city/asylum. The stuff people say now was probably broadcast on social media from some literal city girl from my part of town, (spawns of trina and such). Brehs are trying to thread the needle now and the thread is on fire basically.

You used to be able to look at person and play the odds based on a few things to know who to avoid for BS but the infection has spread soo rapidly and deep that even super conservative type got bird thought process, I know you got stories because the shyt I have heard myself will have you like wtf is going on

I can only imagine breh. You from the 305?

Toronto is the belly of the beast in Canada lmao. And i saw you dapped my post from back in 2017. Guess it waas 7 years ago that I came to the realization

 

[Ohene]

@skyrunner1 the above is November 2017 and I was actually responding to Ohene then also lol.
The next 2 are this past September.



The variable entering February 2025 is that the women who made me are moving out and I'm taking over the apartment, so I will finally be on my own.

But all in all the more things change the more they stay the same. I've conceded that the deck won't be completely stacked for superficial reasons (I refuse to sit in a barber's chair 3x in 1 lunar cycle and it's unlikely to invest in a wardrobe I won't use) in exchange for internal things.

Getting back to my music and sci-fi writing, getting to the gun range, starting boxing/Muy Thai, getting halfway to the voracious reader I grew up as, is more important that hunting for women.

If it's about physical touch, things are coming down the pipeline that should allow me to get foolish and book hoes cats jerk off to a couple times a year...a no-no here but oh well.

its funny that it was my post that you quoted in your quote. full circle haha

 

[Ohene]

Created Wemby in the quick lil gems thread, anything is possible!

 

[skyrunner1]

I can only imagine breh. You from the 305?

Toronto is the belly of the beast in Canada lmao. And i saw you dapped my post from back in 2017. Guess it waas 7 years ago that I came to the realization

Yes sir. Even younger we knew we were playing the game on Heisman/Olympic mode just based on the amount of cooperation we would get from out of towners there is still little things that skew your perception that you dont realize unless traveling out or reading from other brehs. Like today earlier in gym, I got a chuckle because it was like 6-7 different bbl chicks and you could tell 2 of them were talking about one chick because she looked natural. (this was off peak hours too) Compare that to threads I have seen where brehs was like they dont see them at all or often. Even Abuelas be rocking them down here.

That post was too on point, had to go back and dap up.. I used to click on random pages in this thread to see how the overall vibe was at that time and where I was, seeing such bulleyes post like that in 2017 is just beautiful. I got to do that more often, brehs been cooking up gems for yearsssss

 

[Ohene]

Yes sir. Even younger we knew we were playing the game on Heisman/Olympic mode just based on the amount of cooperation we would get from out of towners there is still little things that skew your perception that you dont realize unless traveling out or reading from other brehs. Like today earlier in gym, I got a chuckle because it was like 6-7 different bbl chicks and you could tell 2 of them were talking about one chick because she looked natural. (this was off peak hours too) Compare that to threads I have seen where brehs was like they dont see them at all or often. Even Abuelas be rocking them down here.

That post was too on point, had to go back and dap up.. I used to click on random pages in this thread to see how the overall vibe was at that time and where I was, seeing such bulleyes post like that in 2017 is just beautiful. I got to do that more often, brehs been cooking up gems for yearsssss

mannnn i got a shorty from houston i met back on a trip to DR lol. had a chick from philly i met when she was visiting fam in toronto. like you said major attn/cooperation from them but these toronto chicks love the cat and mouse shyt. i know exactly what you mean. i find that sometimes women just love out of towners too though - but that philly chick damn near looked up to me like i was a god or sumn

ppl really dont be seeing BBLs like that? It is prolly cause they in smaller cities. In Toronto it prolly aint as prevalent as it is in Miami/Florida but it is definitely frequent especially in my area. I think some dudes also assume that girls are just naturally bad and dont realize but i done seen too many women/too much porn to know whats real and whats fake.

I love looking at older posts too. I gotta check some out. Crazy to think that I was only 26 at the time

 

[phcitywarrior]

Side note: that is why i will never agree with the rhetoric that a man should just wait for women to come to them. Pretty gang, handsome gang, rich gang whatever...nah. I am always gonna go for mine and be the aggresor (but i wouldnt mind if a woman approached me either)

This. Men gotta be the aggressors.