Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Ohene]

Scaaar is right. An affair is gonna start by you being controlling and not by the girls trip. The fact that y'all actually got into a big fight about it says more than you need to know. You don't want to look insecure in front of your girl...especially your wife.

lol sounds like youre damned if you do or dont then. catch 22

because we all know that women will test you. sanctioning frequent girl trips past marriage is a bit much but like you said you dont wanna control them and seem insecure. at the same time you gotta be assertive and set boundaries. the plight of men

 

[Guvnor]

I think it's also clear that you need decide what your comfort level is. Most men and women who are reasonably good looking, if they are going out with friends, they are going to interact with the opposite sex on some level. I've known women that detailed every interaction with men to me, after a night like that, like a federal investigation briefing lol and I didn't ask, and I don't really care that much. I think people are entitled to their own private inner lives, and secrets.

this is a little deeper, but lounges, nightclubs, bars, are on some level selling a fantasy, right? So, when married women/men, committed relationships go to those places, they are engaging in fantasy to some degree, it's about how much.

True point as well but knowing my girl she doesn't even like nightclubs or lounges like she would go but want to go home or be tried really early. It's too crowded for her and that's not her vibe really and I don't think she would cross any lines.

 

[Ohene]

Nah not all. It seems these rules that you're trying to dictate is why the game is in shambles. how are you in a relationship with someone that you don't trust? Y'all just sitting in the house staring at each other because you're afraid you or her might cheat is goofy behavior. Get off the internet getting all that negative info and go out here and touch grass. People aren't moving like that in real relationships. If she chooses to cheat then she just wasn't your girl and dump her. It's as simple as that.

i'm not on anyone's side but let me ask you this

do you know anybody in a successful, faithful 10+ year marriage that goes out on boys or girls trips

solo trips are one thing - my parents would visit family for instance. but any time I have been on boys trips, my nikkas was cheating on their wives / girlfriends lol. ALL OF THEM. Naiive to think some women may not engage in the same on some level

 

[re'up]

True point as well but knowing my girl she doesn't even like nightclubs or lounges like she would go but want to go home or be tried really early. It's too crowded for her and that's not her vibe really and I don't think she would cross any lines.

if you are on a trip like that, it's going to revolve around alcohol and lounges, poolside, clubs, bars.

I'm not saying be paranoid, what I am saying is find your level of comfort. If you can't handle her even talking to a guy at a bar for 48 seconds, you may need to address that. If a good looking woman is in a bar solo, someone will talk to her.

 

[Scaaar]

i'm not on anyone's side but let me ask you this

do you know anybody in a successful, faithful 10+ year marriage that goes out on boys or girls trips

solo trips are one thing - my parents would visit family for instance. but any time I have been on boys trips, my nikkas was cheating on their wives / girlfriends lol. ALL OF THEM. Naiive to think some women may not engage in the same on some level

Yeah I know a few people that have been in long marriages that do that. My sister and her brother in law come to mind. They have trips they take with just then by themselves, the family trips with the kids, couples trips that I attend with them, then they have some solo trips that they do with their friends. I'm not saying cheating isn't a possibility but why sit around trying to control if that happens or not? If they want to cheat they will. I do my job as a man to my woman to the best of my ability. I don't give her any reason to even consider it and if she does then it wasn't meant to be. I'll cut my losses and move on. I don't sit around dwelling on what could go wrong. That just means I'm not doing what I should be doing which is being the best version of me.

 

[re'up]

yup

Its a shame breh. It wasnt always like this either. Back then the formula was pretty straight forward (7-10 years ago for me). Pre-covid lets say if I met a woman, i could expect her to respond to my texts, expect her to be down to go out and do whatever, and expect her to be receptive to future plans/coming over if the date went well objectively. The cause and effect had a strong relationship.

Now it just be mad random and theres no rhyme or reason to why a girl does or doesnt like you; no rules to engagement. You can get a girls number only for her to ignore you / take long as hell to respond. You can invite her out and she asking you all the questions tryna se if its worth it. You can even go out have a great time and she will turn around and act weird/continue the cat and mouse shyt; showing no appreciation and acting entitled.

The jig is up. Why waste your time, money and energy, Dudes are choosing to strictly deal with women who show keen interest from the get and not tryna impress anyone

Agree with a lot of this, esp. the timeline. To some degree, there is no "real" normal, what was normal for a 30 something in 1997, probably wasn't what was normal for a 30 something in 2007, same with 2014 and 2024. However, just accounting for my lifetime, like you are saying, there has been a changing of norms from 2014-2024.

I would point to a rigidity of identity, plus corrosive and conflicting influence of social media content upon everyone. Can't quite grasp the whole point now, but there's something about the imaging of social media and where real intimacy takes place that I think is at odds now.