Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Neuromancer]

what kinda questions you asking a woman to vet her as you date her? We've been dating a month and getting to know each other. Feel like still need to vet her tho.

Has anything happened in that month to give you pause? Has she done anything in that month to make you feel you can have some level of trust in her?

 

[valet]

..

 

[Byronml]

Agreed.

I’m not sure, like for example this new one I’m hanging out with, we were talking and she mentions about “how she dreams of meeting someone like me & how when she was younger she wasn’t ready to accept love from someone like me” (she’s older than me, didn’t have the greatest example of a father either) the type that had a list, but then hit a certain age and got rid of the “list”

It just turns me off. Granted again, this is why I should stick to dating younger and avoid older / peer group (30s)

But like I said, I’m not sure what I’m doing besides being stable & having my ish together.

That sounds like her running game and setting you up for disappointment. By that I mean having you believe she's going to be stable and invest in this as well at some point, when she'll really just enjoy the attention of a stable man until her self-sabotage skills kick in. It'd turn me off too and my first set of questions would be:

1. What changed for her to be able to accept love now?
2. What did she do in the past when she wasn't ready? I'd ask this just to have her expose her own track record against meaningful relationships and what to keep an eye out for.
3. What was it about the other guys she dated where she believed that they didn't match with her dream? Kinda same as above but gives her opportunity to reflect.

 

[Byronml]

what kinda questions you asking a woman to vet her as you date her? We've been dating a month and getting to know each other. Feel like still need to vet her tho.

The above questions are good, especially her upbringing, experiences with family, how she was raised, current relationship dynamic with family and who's most important to her. Gives you an idea of where she goes for advice and if they're stable themselves.

Also, vet her by just observing her in different situations. People can answer questions however they want and create a perception, but genuine immediate reactions to situations give you a very clear picture.

 

[MikelArteta]

A lot of those girls don’t wanna be held accountable for anything. Relationships equal accountability so it’s easier to live in their own bubble making dumb ass decisions with no accountability. Plus these chicks be knowing they ain’t shyt so they be projecting their personal mental weaknesses on new dating prospects.

What they don’t realize is the more years they accumulate ducking a meaningful relationship for being in situationships the more damaged they become so when they finally get over that “anxiety” it’s too late

its only when they mid thirties now they want that stable relationship

I had my fun

 

[OmegaK2099]

If a woman is telling you she's broken or damaged from her past relationships. Just believe her and walk away no matter how fine she is. She's just going to bring you down or act up and blame it on her "trauma" later on.

If she's admitting she's damaged she's just laying the ground work for unhinged behavior

 

[Van Cleef]

If a woman is telling you she's broken or damaged from her past relationships. Just believe her and walk away no matter how fine she is. She's just going to bring you down or act up and blame it on her "trauma" later on.

If she's admitting she's damaged she's just laying the ground work for unhinged behavior

im just tryna fukk ion care if she damaged

 

[OmegaK2099]

im just tryna fukk ion care if she damaged

Last chick I fukked was bipolar and manic depressive, had daddy issues, mother wounds that never healed, abandonment issues, also had 3 different kids by 3 different fathers. She was a people person and had a magnetic personality and was loving and affectionate when things were going good but once that mood swing hit and she started taking advice from her unhappy friends and family it was all downhill.

 

[The ADD]

Last chick I fukked was bipolar and manic depressive, had daddy issues, mother wounds that never healed, abandonment issues, also had 3 different kids by 3 different fathers. She was a people person and had a magnetic personality and was loving and affectionate when things were going good but once that mood swing hit and she started taking advice from her unhappy friends and family it was all downhill.

What’s her IG?

 

[OmegaK2099]

What’s her IG?

 

[The ADD]

Noted

 

[Scaaar]

ever since I’ve been in this thread, I’ll picked up this is a issue for you.

What is your end goal with women? I’d assume if you want something non serious then being a “safe” guy shouldn’t bother you

Yeah definitely seems like he places himself in that box and women pick up on that energy.

 

[Tommy Lee Jones]

Paper Requirements

• Cultural Background
• Current Education
  • Future - is she going back to school (hard pass for me)
• Job/Profession
  • nurturing profession
  • Ball busting profession
• Hobbies
  • Hiking? We're not compatible
• Homebody/out all the time?
  • at the club on a Tuesday night?
• Foodie/Normal
  • She gotta try something she saw her GF do on IG
• Sports team affiliation
• Family Background
  • same area, same culture, same economics
• Family Closeness
  • Lotta Afro Latinas see extended family REGULARLY.
  • She talk to Mom/sisters every day
• Family Medical History
  • Is mama going crazy?
• Friends
  • A bunch of guttersnipes headed to Miami every 3 months?
  • She's the last friend in her group to not be married?
  • A lot of single moms in her squad
  • She hit the club and hugs up on every guy
• Can have children
• Wants children
  • See Sofia Vergara
• Birth Control
  • she's on the pill/IUD
• Is she on anti-depressants
• Drug and Alcohol Use
  • she like a lil bit of meth in her J's
• Religious
  • devout? or a Easter Christian or god forbid, she's "spiritual"

I wouldn't ask these things one after another. You can usually pick up on these things in conversation. The medical stuff might be tougher, but it's necessary to find out.

The real stuff you need to know

• Relationship history - so you went through all these d-boys, now you want to date a real baller? FOH.
• Attitudes around sex match up with your own
• Does she look at the bright side of things? Or is she eternally negative?
• Is she an LSA level gossip and hater?
• How she feels about your hobbies
  • is she gonna interrupt your video games/anime/MCU with her BS
• Is she gonna volunteer YOUR pick up truck to go move her FRIEND'S couch?
• Are you automatically on the grill after a 12 hour shift, cause her good for nothing cousins and sistas are coming over
• Is this broad finna go in your closet to show off all your ties, suits, dress shirts, and shoes to her friends?
• She gonna borrow your car and tell you that the new dent was already there?
• Do you take her to her favorite restaurant and all she does is complain?

Etc. Just go through your past dates and relationships and try and recall all the joy and also all the pain.

I got some real specific stuff I look for, based on the girls I've dated.

I used to be cool with weed smoking broads, not no more. Keep in mind, I'm dating chicks with degrees and good jobs, they still wanna smoke up or eat a brownie. We're not compatible, cause we have different values.

Tried to rep you for this but coli says I've been repping you too much

Has anything happened in that month to give you pause? Has she done anything in that month to make you feel you can have some level of trust in her?

Nothing has happened it's going really good. which is why I am trying to vet her even deeper. See long term potential with her, so far. We going on our first trip in two weeks just a 2 hour drive nothing crazy.

The above questions are good, especially her upbringing, experiences with family, how she was raised, current relationship dynamic with family and who's most important to her. Gives you an idea of where she goes for advice and if they're stable themselves.

Also, vet her by just observing her in different situations. People can answer questions however they want and create a perception, but genuine immediate reactions to situations give you a very clear picture.

Yea people can tell you whatever they want doesn't mean it's true. We going on this two night trip that's two hour drive so that will help me get to know her.

 

[WIA20XX]

Tried to rep you for this but coli says I've been repping you too much

LOL. 'Preciate it.

 

[Neuromancer]

Nothing has happened it's going really good. which is why I am trying to vet her even deeper. See long term potential with her, so far. We going on our first trip in two weeks just a 2 hour drive nothing crazy.

Whatever your values are you should bring them up on the trip. Not forcefully but in a casual way.