The femicide rate around the world tells a different story
Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women
- Thread starter Rominati
- Start date
The femicide rate around the world tells a different story
A lot of our current language is pretty lacking and vague, not sure if that is millennial cultural norms, or holdovers from the 90's, think of terms like
"talking", (ex we are just talking right now) and communication (as it was used above)
and how each can be defined both loosely and closely, depending on who is saying it, in what context, but the definitions can be very different person to person.
"talking", (ex we are just talking right now) and communication (as it was used above)
and how each can be defined both loosely and closely, depending on who is saying it, in what context, but the definitions can be very different person to person.
When a broad says "communicate" - recognize that she's not operating in good faith. She might not be consciously trying to run a game on a dude, but she will slip in and out of commitments, promises, shared understanding, etc. And that's not malicious. She's not cackling to her girlfriends talmbout "she got you".
It's her nature to slip and slide. And the culture supports that elusive nature.
Por ejemplo, Plenty of guys have gone to couples therapy, only to see that the girl disagrees with the therapist when it looks like the guy has a point. Now she don't want to go to therapy.
The language being vague is the point. She does not want to be held down.
They love vagueness. They live for ambiguity, provided it's in their favor.
Vague words? Cute goes for kids, pets, and men. Creepy is an obvious one. Tacky is a good one. Her whole world is full of things that are intangible.
The more vague the language is, the more they can "massage the message".
The more they can expect you to understand, from context, the more able they are to beat you into submission when you don't.
Moreover, when language trick fails, the goalposts move to "tone".
When it's not "tone", it's "timing". ETC.
Even when you win, even when you get her to concede - have you really won anything?
Their point is to never be pinned down, unless that's what she wants. At the same time, she can and will use language, tone, and timing against whoever.
The key thing to understand, imo, is that as strong as the man is, as logical as the mind is - she has ALWAYS had tools to address those things.
A lot of guys "respect" women, but they don't really respect them, like they should be respected. She's just as capable as the man is. She's as dangerous as the man is.
Somebody said it here, "You can do everything right. Miss one thing, and nothing you've done counts."
The broads say they reasonable, but not with you.
And the ones you think are reasonable, prefer an unreasonable brother.
It is what it is.
Digital Omen
All Star
I think that's more related to slang or trying to define stages
Back in the day "dating" wasn't in vogue. You were single, "going steady" with someone, engaged, married
Then "going steady" got broken down even further
Now we're "talking." Next we're "going out/dating." Then we're "exclusive/cuffed."
Like you said it's about context and we've all been there or heard the stories
"oh this is a date? we're dating now??" (they usually say that when they're not feeling you).
Right, I'm interested in language, and how it shapes cultural norms and narratives, I have no desire to go back or regress, but look at the blurring and stretching of a concept like "going steady" replaced by "talking", or maybe "courting" would replace "talking"?
I wonder if there is a connection, I bet there is, timeline wise, on the term "talking" being used as online interactions grew through texting social media and then dating apps. Whereas, previously it may have been letters exchanged, now it's digital interaction, which can also be much longer than it was. I am always so surprised when people tell me they "talk" on apps or text for WEEKS before meeting.
Directly to your point, none of those phrases have any real meaning beyond what he ascribe them. Maybe exclusive would be the closest. I actually think it's at times deliberate for people, men and women, to extend/deny/obscure an actual honest conversation. Meaning everyone has certain "rules" attached, but hardly any is disclosing the rules in front.
skyrunner1
Superstar
I FEEEEEEEEL like this has been turned up to incredible levels in recent years, the contrast is palpable to point I can go nowadays a looong time a convo of being "official" never even comes up, lol.. This NEVER happened even 10 years ago but now women have no problem operating in an ambiguous situation for long periods of time.. It has always been standard operating procedure to not bring up relationship unless they do, that used to be something that could come up as soon as before, during or after getting it in.. But now it seems like its just up for interpretation
spot on post
i for one can say that i dont respect women when it comes to relationships. as colleagues? yes. family? yes. friends? yes. human beings? yes.
as girlfriends? ehhhhh. EVen the girls who seem like they reasonable, "cool" etc at first will eventually show their true colors once they start to really like/love you. Thats the worst part.
A woman can be peaceful, easygoing, patient, etc but as soon as titles and time get in the way, their ego and expectations take over. They become entitled, insecure, uncompromising, obtuse...you name it. Eventually you find them to be illogical and selfish in so many ways that it makes them look outright stupid. thats just the sad, harsh reality. The main reason why is because of what you said. they are always moving the goal posts in a way that allows them to deflect and avoid being accountable. after a while, when you see that and them for what they are its pretty hard to really respect them any more than youd respect a child or a pet
And that was my brother who said the underlined
The name of the game is "space"
Sometimes we try to rush comfort because we want things to be our way when in actuality, she has to be given her "space" to potentially want what we want...
When you promote comfort and flexibility, she breathes a sign of relief and it makes her FEEL she can let herself go around you....
That's when her
starts to meltRigid behavior towards women is the easiest way to shoot yourself in the foot...
DaRealness
I think very deeply
This cac asked me to fukk his wife
I thought this shyt only happens in porn
I could never understand that weird shyt.
Duke Wy Lin
It's been a good run. Wish y'all the best ✊🏿
Yup. Our natures are fundamentally different. A lot of brehs expect women to process the world like men do and get disappointed.
Even the healthiest, most mature woman will see the world through the lens of emotion. It's nothing to be mad at, you only have to understand it and learn how to work with it.
Duke Wy Lin
It's been a good run. Wish y'all the best ✊🏿
spot on post
i for one can say that i dont respect women when it comes to relationships. as colleagues? yes. family? yes. friends? yes. human beings? yes.
as girlfriends? ehhhhh. EVen the girls who seem like they reasonable, "cool" etc at first will eventually show their true colors once they start to really like/love you. Thats the worst part.
A woman can be peaceful, easygoing, patient, etc but as soon as titles and time get in the way, their ego and expectations take over. They become entitled, insecure, uncompromising, obtuse...you name it. Eventually you find them to be illogical and selfish in so many ways that it makes them look outright stupid. thats just the sad, harsh reality. The main reason why is because of what you said. they are always moving the goal posts in a way that allows them to deflect and avoid being accountable. after a while, when you see that and them for what they are its pretty hard to really respect them any more than youd respect a child or a pet
And that was my brother who said the underlined
Full accountability is for men, never women. I've learned to accept and live with this reality.
When things seem to be going the greatest, expect them to throw a wrench into the whole process just to see how you'll deal with it. It is what it is. Our ancestors probably dealt with the same bullshyt
And these are healthy/mature women I'm talking about. Let alone the immature, spiritually damaged social media fiends of today.
Digital Omen
All Star
It's in their nature to test you from time to timeFull accountability is for men, never women. I've learned to accept and live with this reality.
When things seem to be going the greatest, expect them to throw a wrench into the whole process just to see how you'll deal with it. It is what it is. Our ancestors probably dealt with the same bullshyt
And these are healthy/mature women I'm talking about. Let alone the immature, spiritually damaged social media fiends of today.
They're born like this. There's nothing you can do about it.
Men that don't recognize this fundamental trait in women are in for a rough time
Every once in a while she'll say/do something that will have you
She's testing you to reassure herself that she chose properly
Women crave security. She needs to feel secure with you or it's a wrap.
It's like when you lock your door or lock your bike
Sometimes you give it a jiggle to make sure it's locked
That's women. Sometimes they give you a jiggle to make sure you got it together.
Doesn't matter if you in fact have shown her you got it together and under control.
It's her nature. Recognize the test and respond accordingly.
And when they feel secure, you can do your thing and you're not going nowhere - a lot of them get bored, get nervous, do something to sabotage the relationship. You're boring, you don't have any swag, she doesn't feel it anymore.
Those are her issues, her insecurities - not a problem with you - but she's holding your heart in her hand, and from time to time, chooses to crush it, rather than deal with things that aren't comfortable. So as usual, her issues become your issues. (The reverse happens, because a lot of them choose to date bums. Broads be more invested in a struggling dude's rap career, than wanting to build with a SysAdmin, I digress...)
All of them? No.
All the time? No.
But, Most of them go through this some of the time though.
One of the problems in the "men's dating advice" corner of the internet - is that we're constantly reacting, constantly trying to manage our behavior to influence her behavior.
As Patrice famously said, You can't make a woman happy.
You can't meet her expectations, because they keep getting bigger and bigger.
For the old heads, "What have you done for me lately?" (c) Janet Jackson. (who famously married a Sheikh and then took his bucks 1 day after their pre-nup was over. Reminds me of Pamela Anderson who married some rich guy, who paid her bills, and got served papers shortly after the check cleared).
So it's 2 things to accept.
- She's gonna do something dumb. Something anti-social. Something to hurt the relationship.
- You can't prevent her from doing so, and you can't fix her. (this is the key)
As a result, I usually tell cats to keep working out, keep stacking bread, and stay social. Those are good things in life, in general. Who doesn't want to be healthier, in better shape, and got more money to spend.
WRT females, a good life has 2 effects.
- She can realize that she's got a good dude and other chicks want him. That's a possibility. It's not a certainty, but it's a possibility. But Lori Harvey shows us that no matter how awesome you are - it might not be enough.
- But more importantly, by staying a catch, when the relationship ends, you've got places to go/women to see, if you are so inclined.
I think a lot about value differences, and when I wrote out my little intro/bio bullshyt a few pages back, what is left unsaid, but implied, is just mostly situationally, (as in had I had different life experiences, maybe I would think more similar to most) I haven't really valued relationships (using the terms as a traditional boyfriend/girl), I've been in love more than once, I crush on lots of women, all the times, but to me, it's just not THAT important.
But, a lot of people do, regardless of gender, we are kind of taught socially that marriage is an end goal, and because of people's various value systems, and attachment types, that becomes all important. We don't really teach either sex that it's OK to be alone or single, even long term.
I was so slow to learn that so many people are playing for life. Playing for keeps. Whatever zero sum ideology you want to use. As in, this is the ONE. So, with that, is going to come a lot of analysis, and second guessing, and testing, because of the scope of the choice, where I am much more tolerant, and accepting, and factoring in that this isn't going to last for the next 70 years, because that in itself to me, is an extreme.
But, a lot of people do, regardless of gender, we are kind of taught socially that marriage is an end goal, and because of people's various value systems, and attachment types, that becomes all important. We don't really teach either sex that it's OK to be alone or single, even long term.
I was so slow to learn that so many people are playing for life. Playing for keeps. Whatever zero sum ideology you want to use. As in, this is the ONE. So, with that, is going to come a lot of analysis, and second guessing, and testing, because of the scope of the choice, where I am much more tolerant, and accepting, and factoring in that this isn't going to last for the next 70 years, because that in itself to me, is an extreme.
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