Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[VertigoKnight]

Already slept with her?

Surprisingly not yet.

Our second date we went clubbing, which was fun. As she got VIP access to this club night through her friend.

But by the end of that night we were too tired, she'd worked late as well, before coming out. So I wasn't going to push it. She said she really wanted to come over but was probably wiser she got some sleep.

I think we both know it's probably going to happen this week.

 

[NeilCartwright]

I think i fukked up brehs. Ive been in a relationship for about 14 months, but in the very beginning i wasn't the most transparent with who i am etc. She is very big on church, good girl etc and im from the south, i go to church when i can but i aint no Jesus freak.

She doesn't like smoking weed or CBD. When i got out the military a while back, i smoke once in a blue moon. I told her initially when we first i wasn't smoking like that, i only fool with gummies and oil, but i liedthats part of where i fukked up. Its just how she thinks, like overly religious (imo) and like a goody good type of person. And am lowkey resentful of how things will play out over a 10+ year period bc of how i presented myself in the beginning bc i liked her so much

Aside from that shes great. Looks good, makes her own money, supportive, faithful etc. I need to know whether im trippen. I dont want to throw away a good relationship bc of petty shyt

 

[RaspberryFitted]

I think i fukked up brehs. Ive been in a relationship for about 14 months, but in the very beginning i wasn't the most transparent with who i am etc. She is very big on church, good girl etc and im from the south, i go to church when i can but i aint no Jesus freak.

She doesn't like smoking weed or CBD. When i got out the military a while back, i smoke once in a blue moon. I told her initially when we first i wasn't smoking like that, i only fool with gummies and oil, but i liedthats part of where i fukked up. Its just how she thinks, like overly religious (imo) and like a goody good type of person. And am lowkey resentful of how things will play out over a 10+ year period bc of how i presented myself in the beginning bc i liked her so much

Aside from that shes great. Looks good, makes her own money, supportive, faithful etc. I need to know whether im trippen. I dont want to throw away a good relationship bc of petty shyt

What does you smoking weed have to do with her not smoking weed? You could of been upfront & respected her wishes in regards to where & when you smoke?

Also, why are you putting so much emphasis on what you “think” she is. What does her being a “goody two shoes” and “overtly religious” have to do with her not being a mere human? Who has her own vices and conflicts? It’s like you putting shordi on a pedestal & projecting yourself on to her.

“babe, I smoke from time to time but will respect you not to bring it around you nor be under the influence with you” she either respects that or walks away.

 

[RaspberryFitted]

now this young lady wasted a year and two months with a man who not even real enough to speak to her about SMOKING WEED. If you not being upfront with a simple vice (she should be knowledgeable about if she reads scripture) then how can she trust you with major shyt… all because you wanted to impress her.

she probably let a man she was equally yoked with pass by her.

 

[RaspberryFitted]

that church girl/good girl tag brehs put on women is stupid. Just say you ain’t on shyt & leave shordi be, because you obviously not comfortable in your own skin to come as you are to her.

 

[Digital Omen]

I think i fukked up brehs. Ive been in a relationship for about 14 months, but in the very beginning i wasn't the most transparent with who i am etc. She is very big on church, good girl etc and im from the south, i go to church when i can but i aint no Jesus freak.

She doesn't like smoking weed or CBD. When i got out the military a while back, i smoke once in a blue moon. I told her initially when we first i wasn't smoking like that, i only fool with gummies and oil, but i liedthats part of where i fukked up. Its just how she thinks, like overly religious (imo) and like a goody good type of person. And am lowkey resentful of how things will play out over a 10+ year period bc of how i presented myself in the beginning bc i liked her so much

Aside from that shes great. Looks good, makes her own money, supportive, faithful etc. I need to know whether im trippen. I dont want to throw away a good relationship bc of petty shyt

Man up now and let shorty know the truth. If you don't, it's going to come out later when you least expect it and she'll instantly lose trust in you.
"It's not the crime that gets you, it's the cover up"
Avoid the scarcity mindset. If she walks because you like to spark up and she doesn't, it's best it happens now.
Yes she's dope everything's great etc etc but all of that will get flushed down the toilet when she finds out the hard way you aren't who you presented yourself to be.
Relationships are about what you can and can't live with. It may be that while she doesn't partake, she won't mind if you do as long as it's within reason (something you both will have to agree on, define terms clearly- I had this convo last week with my artsy chick).
On the other hand If she's a religious fanatic, then there probably won't be any room for compromise and that's where you have to be willing to lose her over it.
Either way out of respect for her at the very least she deserves to be given the option to make her choice.

 

[BigBlackSea]

now this young lady wasted a year and two months with a man who not even real enough to speak to her about SMOKING WEED. If you not being upfront with a simple vice (she should be knowledgeable about if she reads scripture) then how can she trust you with major shyt… all because you wanted to impress her.

she probably let a man she was equally yoked with pass by her.

Man up now and let shorty know the truth. If you don't, it's going to come out later when you least expect it and she'll instantly lose trust in you.
"It's not the crime that gets you, it's the cover up"
Avoid the scarcity mindset. If she walks because you like to spark up and she doesn't, it's best it happens now.
Yes she's dope everything's great etc etc but all of that will get flushed down the toilet when she finds out the hard way you aren't who you presented yourself to be.
Relationships are about what you can and can't live with. It may be that while she doesn't partake, she won't mind if you do as long as it's within reason (something you both will have to agree on, define terms clearly- I had this convo last week with my artsy chick).
On the other hand If she's a religious fanatic, then there probably won't be any room for compromise and that's where you have to be willing to lose her over it.
Either way out of respect for her at the very least she deserves to be given the option to make her choice.

Facts.

After my last breakup, I had to mature in my viewpoint in relationships. The truth about relationships is that they have to be treated in a logical way. Both individuals need to come to the table with terms, or else you'll end up in trouble later down the line. I went through the effort to introspect and figure my quirks and dealbreakers.

For the future, anytime I get into some time of arrangement past a ONS, I'm just going lay my terms on the table and my boundaries. It's a very sterile way of starting a relationship, but it's no different from weddings vows or a business arrangement, i.e. I promise to do this or I promise not to do that.

 

[Digital Omen]

Facts.

After my last breakup, I had to mature in my viewpoint in relationships. The truth about relationships is that they have to be treated in a logical way. Both individuals need to come to the table with terms, or else you'll end up in trouble later down the line. I went through the effort to introspect and figure my quirks and dealbreakers.

For the future, anytime I get into some time of arrangement past a ONS, I'm just going lay my terms on the table and my boundaries. It's a very sterile way of starting a relationship, but it's no different from weddings vows or a business arrangement, i.e. I promise to do this or I promise not to do that.

I learned this too after I took off the rose colored glasses when my marriage honeymoon period ended.
We both did not define our terms and dealbreakers plainly and clearly from jump, and that led to massive headaches, fights, and of course ended in divorce.

Like right now with the weed. Artsy chick and I have been kicking it heavy. Right now we're at the "I like you. I like you too. Let's keep building together and see where it goes" stage.

Having realized that and having had that convo, I (among other things) asked her if she minded that I spark up regular. We smoked out once. The next time I offered she declined, and told me she's not a smoker, just once in a blue type thing.

I said that's cool and I respect that. Me on the other hand, I spark up almost daily. What do you think about that?
"It's cool that's your thing, it's just not my thing."
"Does it bother you?"
"No"
"cool, let me know if and when you change your mind. We can talk about it."

And that was it. No ambiguities on my part. Beyond agreeing on basic dealbreakers (cheating, physical violence, lying) everyone has their own personal dealbreakers and terms. Lot of BS and heartbreak can be avoided by having that convo early.

 

[Ohene]

Facts.

After my last breakup, I had to mature in my viewpoint in relationships. The truth about relationships is that they have to be treated in a logical way. Both individuals need to come to the table with terms, or else you'll end up in trouble later down the line. I went through the effort to introspect and figure my quirks and dealbreakers.

For the future, anytime I get into some time of arrangement past a ONS, I'm just going lay my terms on the table and my boundaries. It's a very sterile way of starting a relationship, but it's no different from weddings vows or a business arrangement, i.e. I promise to do this or I promise not to do that.

Been saying this over and over in the thread

 

[The ADD]

 

[darius19]

Brehs which dating app is best for if you’re travelling to a new country and want to set your location there?

 

[Ahadi]

Facts.

After my last breakup, I had to mature in my viewpoint in relationships. The truth about relationships is that they have to be treated in a logical way. Both individuals need to come to the table with terms, or else you'll end up in trouble later down the line. I went through the effort to introspect and figure my quirks and dealbreakers.

For the future, anytime I get into some time of arrangement past a ONS, I'm just going lay my terms on the table and my boundaries. It's a very sterile way of starting a relationship, but it's no different from weddings vows or a business arrangement, i.e. I promise to do this or I promise not to do that.

Example of terms / boundaries?

 

[Bless't]

What does you smoking weed have to do with her not smoking weed? You could of been upfront & respected her wishes in regards to where & when you smoke?

Also, why are you putting so much emphasis on what you “think” she is. What does her being a “goody two shoes” and “overtly religious” have to do with her not being a mere human? Who has her own vices and conflicts? It’s like you putting shordi on a pedestal & projecting yourself on to her.

“babe, I smoke from time to time but will respect you not to bring it around you nor be under the influence with you” she either respects that or walks away.

This.

 

[Bless't]

now this young lady wasted a year and two months with a man who not even real enough to speak to her about SMOKING WEED. If you not being upfront with a simple vice (she should be knowledgeable about if she reads scripture) then how can she trust you with major shyt… all because you wanted to impress her.

she probably let a man she was equally yoked with pass by her.

 

[Ahadi]

Women calling you “controlling”