What’s with this self defeating talk? You got to work on your self esteem and self image.
What you label "self defeat" I label an understanding and freeing of mental frustrations.
Instead of constantly going to sources that continue to make me feel angry and depressed I need to understand that it's not for me.
I feel like I understand what I'm good at, and I need to continue to work on my craft, instead of wasting any energy on women.
All of my feelings of anger and sorrow are surrounded by women.
Whenever I'm creating art I don't feel this way.
In fact, I feel the exact opposite.
For me, porn is a temporary "good feeling" and the idea of women felt like they could make me feel better.
I fail with women, get frustrated and go back to porn in a never ending cycle.
I need to
stop fantasizing about this idea of me being with a woman because it's not going to happen.
What I
need to do is continue to work on my art and find my happiness in that.
I'm not wasting time on Instagram looking at women I'm never going to have sex with.
I'll watch porn when I need to.
Meaning I'm sure I'll get the urge to and I won't fight it, as opposed to spending all my free time looking for porn.
It's unhealthy. And I'm not using that as a means to "get women" I just need to occupy my time with something else.
Whenever I start to reflect, I see how toxic and detrimental I've allowed women to be in my life, and I've never even been in a relationship with them.
The sooner I let them go, the sooner I will find my happiness.