THought id pen this before i head to bed....
Im sitting around here, only gotten some intermittent texts and a very brief phone call from the chick im dating (long distance at that). Communication between us has been suspect this week (we were establishing a daily 3 hour convo routine).
And its got me all triggered. Im worried. Paranoid. Vengeful. Figured if she gonna be like this, i might as well check other bytches on the app
Then it hits me
aside from the fact that Im freaking out about what could amount to nothing...aside from the fact that we all are busy grown adults with lives outside of one another...aside from all that....
Man, life is really really good right now.
For the first time in a very long time, my life is stable. Secure. Im making more money than i've ever made. Been having some health issues but guess what? Nothing major. Nothing diet and exercise cant fix. My career is on a righteous track. Hell my folks who shouldve divorced 58583 times already, celebrated their 32nd wedding anniversary last week.
IM at a point where, yes im looking to settle down with a partner....but if I cant find one? I still know what the fukk im doing tomorrow morning when i wake up. No chick has made that much of a difference in my life for me to genuinely want, or need their presence.
Additionally, even if old girl is playing me....ok...so? Not like anything I can do is gonna prevent that
. The only thing I can do for sure is decide how I react to that.
And yknow what I did?
I deleted the app. Im not gonna try and get "another thing set up" contingency plan in case this doenst work out with me and ol girl.
IM doubling down on being more understanding. And flexible. And accepting that we all are bringing baggage of being adults.
I cant spend my entire dating life wanting to be with someone, but also letting their (perceived) behaviors tilt me into having a fragile ego that I have to constantly protect. Because thats all that behavior of "keeping bytches on the side" was, at least for me. Im done giving someone that much control over my decision making.
Plus, its never worth it. ive never gotten a substantial quality return for the amount of money, time, and energy I spend into chasing and juggling bytches.
Ultimately what im saying and what i wanted to share is, this shyt is about power and control brehs. I realized how much indirect power over my life ive been giving women. Ive been trying to do things differently and realize that true "victory" is alot different from how ive always viewed it.
Victory is peace in your decision making and comfort in knowing you control you.
Lmao they get butt hurt. Then go into oh you erased my number? I lie. Naw babe, phone dumped my contacts and I’m not doing much so lol lol
who are you? Lmao there begins the shenanigans lol
and that she would see me around
.
you're a grown adult if you really wanted to you could have said something
