I started dating this one girl back in January and I don't know what to make of her. I work with her, and have known her for 3-4 years. She is east African, religious (at least more than me), doesn't curse, no kids, two jobs, only 3-4 long term relationships prior, she seemed like a great pick up.
That being said I have allowed her the option of a break instead of breaking up and I think I played this wrong.
Here is some backstory on shyt she has said to me and how she behaves.
Early on in our relationship we are talking on the phone and she tells me she had a dream that I was choking her, and not the sexy type, but the assault type, wtf.
She tells me she can't believe the shyt that comes out of my mouth, she can't take jokes and gets offended easily.
She called me an a$$hole on the subway, not very loudly, but nonetheless, shyt was disrespectful to say that shyt in front of other people.
She consistently blows me off. Doesn't text back regularly, turns off her phone or ignores. She says this is because she doesn't really use her phone like that, but I see her on it when I come to work. She sits away from me on the subway at times. She declines rides home when I offer them. She only texts me now when she has a question pertinent to her.
She had friends over at her place from Africa for 3 weeks in February, in which time I got none of her attention.
Multiple times we don't see each other one on one for 2 weeks or more.
Haven't been on a dinner date since March 1st, I haven't seen her one on one since April 20th.
Had two conversations with her in the second week of May, in which she admitted to distancing herself maybe subconsciously. She said she did have some issues with me, but also her own personal issues, that she needs to fix herself first. Asked if she still wants to be with me or break up. Says she does love me more than anyone before and wants to be with me. She said her distance is because of personal things, I think she is depressed about something but she doesn't want to share, prefers to keep it to herself. We decided we would take a break, though she couldn't give me a firm commitment on how much time it would take, I asked if this would take six months because I am not waiting around that long and she said no, still she couldn't give me a time frame. I said maybe we should call each other to keep in touch but try again later once she has herself together. She said she feels bad right now because she knows she hasn't been able to make herself available the amount that we deserve for a relationship to work. We have only spoken on the phone once since these two conversations for 20 minutes. She is going on vacation with her friends in a few weeks as well.
I wanted to break it off when I had my last one on one conversation with her, but she seemed like a great girl and I didn't want to throw it away. Plus I see her everyday at work. Any advice, should I set deadlines for this "break" we are one, or tell her we are done.
