That's self defeat right there
Google jiu jitsu/boxing gyms in your area and go take a free class...
If you don't have a friend to go with you it doesn't matter...go anyway.
One of the ways you gain confidence is pushing yourself through adversity...
And there will be trainers at the gym to guide you...
It's natural to have anxiety...shyt it's people I know who have been training for years and still get slightly nervous before stepping into the dojo.
Anxiety is a huge part of it too. shyt just hits me out of nowhere, and doing something with really little to no experience in is gonna make it spike through the roof. It's not like I can't do it, I'm just too anxious and etc. to do so.
Right now I'm feeling better than yesterday, but I'm just trying to get myself together before I hit a downward spiral over this shyt and to keep my situation under control.