Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[RealAssanova]

I think Malik did the right thing hanging up the phone. These broads be telling jokes, but they don't really be jokes. They are underhanded little comments to test you. What in the world is she thinking about 'the next boyfriend' she's going to be with in the first place? Screw being cool and laughing it off. Being 'secure' in this day and age seems to be to put up with all of a woman's nonsense and underhanded digs and out of pocket behavior by acting like it doesn't affect you. Sometimes you got to set the precedent and let her know that kind of stuff won't fly at all. She can say you're insecure, you're this, you're that all she wants, but honestly, who cares? If you're with a woman, no need to put up with out of line behavior.

while i totally agree with this, i only think it applies to certain situations. I don't think homeboy's case was befitting for this. I think all he shuda done was respond in kind, or change da subject. BUT, if she was to do it again or on numerous other occasions, i'd end the relationship.

 

[LezJepzin]

Had to share this from my cousin's facebook (a black woman)
This goes for everyone though. Men and Women:

PSA FOR ALL MEN:If your in a relationship that's not allowing you to live up to ur full potential y or u wasting both of y'all time??? Look for the qualities in ur women that either ur Mother or Grandmother had/have... If ur not employed ur women should be sending ur resume out as much as u not downing talking u, if she's not putting God first and u second there's ur allowing her to go in the wrong direction, man take ur place back in marriages and relationships!!! Man are meant to be the head and not the tail...Stand strong and pray on it, show our young black men that a man doesn't run around cheating, partaking in boy like behavior, calling his mother out of her name, laying around living off a women, making his morher sad and sisters confessed as to what they should accept from and of a man... BLACKMEN STAND UP AND TAKE YOUR FAMILIES AND HOUSEHOLD BACK!!!! GIVE UR WOMEN SOMETHING TO RESPECT!!!!

 

[T-K-G]

while i totally agree with this, i only think it applies to certain situations. I don't think homeboy's case was befitting for this. I think all he shuda done was respond in kind, or change da subject. BUT, if she was to do it again or on numerous other occasions, i'd end the relationship.

exactly, these nikkas on some other, overly paranoid type shyt, all that nikka did was give off the vibe that he's sensitive and she prolly laughed her ass off at how emotional he got before she went back and apologized. how you supposed to be in control of a relationship when ya girl know she can get you into your emotions so easily. Even if the joke hurt his feelins he coulda pretended like it didn't and it woulda flipped the tables on her ass, on some "he brushed it off, maybe im disposable to him " type shyt.

 

[kevm3]

He did the right thing in my eyes. Honestly, who cares what a woman thinks? She could be sitting back giggling, laughing or doing whatever she was doing after the fact, but she made sure to apologize and she learned if she wants to be with him, she can't be playing that. The only different thing he could have done was give her a reason for why he hung up that phone "Alright, you might have been joking, but let's get this straight babygirl... if we're together, no other man should come into the equation period. If you're thinking about what you're going to do after me, then it's best we put you where your mind is at and cut this short. If you want to be with me, you need to get that mind control and get them thoughts of 'the next man' out of your head. I like you and everything, but I'm not someone that jokes around all the time."

Men should not act based upon how a female will REACT. "Oh, she might not like that. She might see me as weak or insecure, so I won't do that." I guarantee you if you let these broads loft these little softballs and acting like they are cool, they will eventually start pitching hardballs. They float these little 'jokes' and if you accept it, they will escalate.Next it'll be, "Just a theoretical scenario. What if my ex wanted to go dinner with me. Would that be cool?"How you think she'll answer that when he calls her out? "LOL, JUST JOKING. Why are you being so insecure?" You let these women 'joke' with you and they will take you for a play pal.

If the broad peels off because she thinks he's insecure or whatever, that's a great thing. That's one broad that can go to mcdonalds playland and run her comedy routines there. A woman's behavior, love and respect for you is the most important thing she can have. Any woman that fails to bring that can and should be replaced as soon as possible. The goal isn't to keep these broads around by any means necessary. It's more along the lines of giving them the privilege to be with you, and a privilege can be revoked just as quickly as it was granted. As a man, you don't fit into what she wants or what she thinks. She fits into what you want and what you think.

 

[Turbulent]

exactly, these nikkas on some other, overly paranoid type shyt, all that nikka did was give off the vibe that he's sensitive and she prolly laughed her ass off at how emotional he got before she went back and apologized. how you supposed to be in control of a relationship when ya girl know she can get you into your emotions so easily. Even if the joke hurt his feelins he coulda pretended like it didn't and it woulda flipped the tables on her ass, on some "he brushed it off, maybe im disposable to him " type shyt.

fundamentally this comes down to what degree you're willing to "play the game". You're suggesting he should pretend something that bothers him doesn't bother him in order to project an image to his girl. The reason i disagree with this approach is that it becomes a very slippery slope and before you know it, your whole relationship is based on mind games and your girl trying to make you insecure/making you crack.

If something bothers me, i say it calmly. She will either choose to leave me or stay. if she stays, she will respect my boundaries. If she goes and laugh to her friends, tries to debate me on it, tries to shame me into compromising, or anything else that doesn't respect what i requested of her, i will view it as a sign that she doesn't want to be with me anymore in a relationship and treat her accordingly.

I don't care what she thinks to be honest. fukk her friends. and i don't care if she thinks i'm sensitive. what i care about is how she will act. She is free to feel what she wants to feel. and she is free to try to disrespect me, just like i'm free to stop messing with her.

EDIT: pretty much what Kev said before my post.

 

[Kenny West]

Idea: Instead of sending her a dikk pic send an imprint pic

just take a pic of yourself freeballin in some sweatpants or ball shorts and just happen to have an innocent semi woody

let her imagination do the rest (a good policy in itself)


the replies I got (from those who bothered to answer) were easy to knock out the park but I've only tried it on my old joints so it's nothing worth noting sometime. should get a new prospect and give it a go just an idea. feel free to try

 

[RealAssanova]

fundamentally this comes down to what degree you're willing to "play the game". You're suggesting he should pretend something that bothers him doesn't bother him in order to project an image to his girl. The reason i disagree with this approach is that it becomes a very slippery slope and before you know it, your whole relationship is based on mind games and your girl trying to make you insecure/making you crack.

If something bothers me, i say it calmly. She will either choose to leave me or stay. if she stays, she will respect my boundaries. If she goes and laugh to her friends, tries to debate me on it, tries to shame me into compromising, or anything else that doesn't respect what i requested of her, i will view it as a sign that she doesn't want to be with me anymore in a relationship and treat her accordingly.

I don't care what she thinks to be honest. fukk her friends. and i don't care if she thinks i'm sensitive. what i care about is how she will act. She is free to feel what she wants to feel. and she is free to try to disrespect me, just like i'm free to stop messing with her.

EDIT: pretty much what Kev said before my post.

i understand what you saying, but like i had mentioned up top, if this was on a first-time basis, it really shouldn't have bothered him. HOWEVER, if this was on a continuous basis, then that would be a red flag and the end of a relationship.

I also don't see it so much so as mind games then it is with being secure and confident in urself. If a broad every told me that sh!t, i'd probably give her some suggestions on where and how she should go about in getting a dude like that. I'm confident in myself in knowing that if she does get another dude or continues actin up, she can be easily replaced wit someone of a higher caliber...so why flinch?

 

[kevm3]

fundamentally this comes down to what degree you're willing to "play the game". You're suggesting he should pretend something that bothers him doesn't bother him in order to project an image to his girl. The reason i disagree with this approach is that it becomes a very slippery slope and before you know it, your whole relationship is based on mind games and your girl trying to make you insecure/making you crack.

If something bothers me, i say it calmly. She will either choose to leave me or stay. if she stays, she will respect my boundaries. If she goes and laugh to her friends, tries to debate me on it, tries to shame me into compromising, or anything else that doesn't respect what i requested of her, i will view it as a sign that she doesn't want to be with me anymore in a relationship and treat her accordingly.

I don't care what she thinks to be honest. fukk her friends. and i don't care if she thinks i'm sensitive. what i care about is how she will act. She is free to feel what she wants to feel. and she is free to try to disrespect me, just like i'm free to stop messing with her.

EDIT: pretty much what Kev said before my post.

To me, that's the most important thing. Peace of mind. The old mentality that most men were taught is to put up with a woman's nonsense in hopes that she will 'reward you' with affection. Your mission was to impress her and to get the right reactions out of her so that maybe she will stick around. As you get older, you learn you are the prize and you don't have to put up with the nonsense. You are not beholden to how she feels, her whims or what she thinks about you. If she can't increase your peace of mind, she doesn't need to be around.

 

[BrehWyatt]

exactly, these nikkas on some other, overly paranoid type shyt, all that nikka did was give off the vibe that he's sensitive and she prolly laughed her ass off at how emotional he got before she went back and apologized. how you supposed to be in control of a relationship when ya girl know she can get you into your emotions so easily. Even if the joke hurt his feelins he coulda pretended like it didn't and it woulda flipped the tables on her ass, on some "he brushed it off, maybe im disposable to him " type shyt.

Or maybe they can take that ish to mean "Well if he doesn't care, then why should I" and go do the dirt. @kevm3 is spot on here, stand with your principles. She can get with the program or kick rocks.

 

[Turbulent]

To me, that's the most important thing. Peace of mind. The old mentality that most men were taught is to put up with a woman's nonsense in hopes that she will 'reward you' with affection. Your mission was to impress her and to get the right reactions out of her so that maybe she will stick around. As you get older, you learn you are the prize and you don't have to put up with the nonsense. You are not beholden to how she feels, her whims or what she thinks about you. If she can't increase your peace of mind, she doesn't need to be around.

yup, once you stop "trying to keep a chick" and realise you don't owe her anything just like she doesn't owe you anything, there's a serenity that takes over you. and i won't front like i'm always at peace on some dalai lama type monk. but one thing i've notice is the times i'm really upset are because i compromised myself for the benefit of someone else's feelings.

and this whole thing goes beyond women, i try to apply the same philosophy to friends, family, coworkers, etc. People will accuse you of being a dictator and even being a sociopath. Thing is, when they still remain there and still seek from you (atention, energy, etc) you realize that them calling you these things is nothing more than manipulation and shaming tactics to get you to conform to their ideal of who you should be. They want you to give them what they seek from you but without accepting the price you put on it (without sacrifice). As usual, it's not always done consciously but it doesn't mean you shouldn't check them on it.

 

[kevm3]

yup, once you stop "trying to keep a chick" and realise you don't owe her anything just like she doesn't owe you anything, there's a serenity that takes over you. and i won't front like i'm always at peace on some dalai lama type monk. but one thing i've notice is the times i'm really upset are because i compromised myself for the benefit of someone else's feelings.

and this whole thing goes beyond women, i try to apply the same philosophy to friends, family, coworkers, etc. People will accuse you of being a dictator and even being a sociopath. Thing is, when they still remain there and still seek from you (atention, energy, etc) you realize that them calling you these things is nothing more than manipulation and shaming tactics to get you to conform to their ideal of who you should be. They want you to give them what they seek from you but without accepting the price you put on it (without sacrifice). As usual, it's not always done consciously but it doesn't mean you shouldn't check them on it.

Carefully controlling your social circles and who has access to you is at least 50% of the peace of mind you will have in life. You let people hang around that are doing screwed up things, playing little games and making underhanded remarks, and sooner or later it will affect you.

I know women constantly test men to see if the man is 'on her level or below.' Women always want to deal with a man she perceives as above him, so if you go around letting women make these little remarks, it might 'keep the peace' for the short term, but over the long-term she will either escalate the slick comments or she will peel off because she feels 'you don't have a backbone'. But more than anything, the important reason to check that behavior is just because you don't want that entering into your midst. Having peace of mind is way more important than keeping a woman lingering around.

What I feel Malik's girl was doing was floating one of those little tests and seeing if she could manipulate him by creating a 'fantasy man' whose behavior she will constantly judge him against. Aka it was her way of creating the 'perfect man' that she would eventually hate. It's little different than her saying, "Well my homegirl's man, he always buys her flowers. Why don't you buy me flowers?" It's a little slicker way of pulling something off like that and if you don't shut it down early, she will keep on with it.

A BIG mistake I see men making these days is 'giving in' and making moves to keep the coochie exclusive. You don't make moves to 'please' the woman and to keep the coochie exclusive. You make moves to maintain respect and control. If a woman wants to give that thang away, that's what she's going to do. Tip-toeing and trying to come up with the perfect action so she will have this perfect reaction will do nothing but cause you to neuter yourself, which will make her even more likely to cheat. If a woman wants to deal with another man, she's going to do that, so never, ever let her try to use the perception of the exclusivity of her vagina as a means of manipulating you. The less men stopped wondering 'what a woman is thinking', the better. You will never be able to figure out what is going on in her mind because women are wired differently than men, so they think differently. I can't control her actions, but I can control mine and who I allow in my atmosphere. Don't allow anyone to bring funny-style behavior onto your planet. Send them back into orbit.

 

[Turbulent]

i understand what you saying, but like i had mentioned up top, if this was on a first-time basis, it really shouldn't have bothered him. HOWEVER, if this was on a continuous basis, then that would be a red flag and the end of a relationship.

I also don't see it so much so as mind games then it is with being secure and confident in urself. If a broad every told me that sh!t, i'd probably give her some suggestions on where and how she should go about in getting a dude like that. I'm confident in myself in knowing that if she does get another dude or continues actin up, she can be easily replaced wit someone of a higher caliber...so why flinch?

but why even let it get to that point. If you love your woman, you will try to implement the best conditions for the relationship to remain healthy. check her once very early on and you make sure it doesn't happen on a continuous basis.

as far as mind games. if you truly don't mind, cool. I just disagree with someone who does care and pretends he doesn't. that would be engaging in mind games. Personally i would care because even if she can be replaced, it's a matter of principle. I want my girl to respect my sacrifice just like i'm respecting hers. No matter how easily she can be replaced, why should i tolerate her talking to me like i'm some sucker? I am confident as well but i don't care if she percieves me as confident or not. what i care about is giving her the option to learn how to speak to me respectfully and let her choose between that option and leaving me. How she feels is none of my business. I see what you're saying and understand the mentality behind your approach. I guess what i'm saying is, if i love my girl, and she disrespects me, being confident in myself and caring about the fact she disrespected me are not conflicting ideas in my opinion.

 

[RealAssanova]

but why even let it get to that point. If you love your woman, you will try to implement the best conditions for the relationship to remain healthy. check her once very early on and you make sure it doesn't happen on a continuous basis.

as far as mind games. if you truly don't mind, cool. I just disagree with someone who does care and pretends he doesn't. that would be engaging in mind games. Personally i would care because even if she can be replaced, it's a matter of principle. I want my girl to respect my sacrifice just like i'm respecting hers. No matter how easily she can be replaced, why should i tolerate her talking to me like i'm some sucker? I am confident as well but i don't care if she percieves me as confident or not. what i care about is giving her the option to learn how to speak to me respectfully and let her choose between that option and leaving me. How she feels is none of my business. I see what you're saying and understand the mentality behind your approach. I guess what i'm saying is, if i love my girl, and she disrespects me, being confident in myself and caring about the fact she disrespected me are not conflicting ideas in my opinion.

if you are in a relationship, then i completely agree with your first point. It is imperative ground rules must be set in stone and followed, otherwise the relationship is doomed. But if you just in the initial phases of dealin with the girl, whether it be datin, fukkin, or talkin..then shorty is still on trial and if she was to pull something off like that before we got serious, that's a blessing for me cuz her azz just lost ALL value.

and i wholeheartedly agree with the bolded. Those nikkas not only end up losin the mind games but they also get their feelings hurt too.

 

[T-K-G]

fundamentally this comes down to what degree you're willing to "play the game". You're suggesting he should pretend something that bothers him doesn't bother him in order to project an image to his girl. The reason i disagree with this approach is that it becomes a very slippery slope and before you know it, your whole relationship is based on mind games and your girl trying to make you insecure/making you crack.

If something bothers me, i say it calmly. She will either choose to leave me or stay. if she stays, she will respect my boundaries. If she goes and laugh to her friends, tries to debate me on it, tries to shame me into compromising, or anything else that doesn't respect what i requested of her, i will view it as a sign that she doesn't want to be with me anymore in a relationship and treat her accordingly.

I don't care what she thinks to be honest. fukk her friends. and i don't care if she thinks i'm sensitive. what i care about is how she will act. She is free to feel what she wants to feel. and she is free to try to disrespect me, just like i'm free to stop messing with her.

EDIT: pretty much what Kev said before my post.

i told HIM to pretend cuz he obviously cares about petty shyt like that, im not marrying any of these bytches im meeting right now so i dont care about half the shyt they do or say, i just smash and keep it movin

save all the rest of that shyt for yo 30s n shyt when you tryna settle down

 

[kevm3]