Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Mr Hate Coffee]

I enjoy the personality of older women to younger women generally. My main concern would be that a woman that is a pure gem is usually wrapped up by that age, so I would be curious to hear the reasons as to why she is single. A lot of these women are great at reeling guys in, but eventually the man finds out why she is single at her age.

I'd just proceed with caution, there are pros and cons to messing with older women

You guys are right but sometimes its a pure numbers thing. For instance, a single.. attractive 33 year old in Iowa is a red flag. Because dudes out here will settle down with you at age 22. It's the culture.

The same woman in Atlanta or New York tho... There may not be anything wrong with her. She may just have standards and most of the guys aren't trying to settle down and there are a ton of young women to compete with. Also, she may have come off a long term relationship that didn't work out. I say this because, hell, I've created a couple of these women. I actually respect some chicks for not settling and lowering their standards.

But I think we all agree that you gotta proceed with caution and do your research. I just hate applying generic rules to people because I wouldn't want anyone to do the same with me. For instance, nowadays I'm hearing a lot of, "Stay away from black men, they don't want to settle down." out there. As a black man, even though I know it's true a lot of times I wouldn't want it held against me if I wanted to be serious with a girl.

Lastly, a young chick who is mature and knows what she wants is just as rare as an old chick who has nothing wrong with her. Two sides of the same coin in my opinion. The only thing for sure is that an older chick will need to have kids ASAP. She doesn't have the benefit of time.

 

[Mr Hate Coffee]

She's 33 And I'm 25.

That's a large age gap bruh. Kick it with her, see where her mind is at, and go from there. It's very hard for me to imagine it working out but it happens. My homie is 25 and he just married a 33 year old Brazilian chick. She looks young too so at least he knows she has good genetics.

 

[philmonroe]

I enjoy the personality of older women to younger women generally. My main concern would be that a woman that is a pure gem is usually wrapped up by that age, so I would be curious to hear the reasons as to why she is single. A lot of these women are great at reeling guys in, but eventually the man finds out why she is single at her age.

As far as why she is single even though she might be a "pure gem" couldn't that also be reasonably asked about you too? I guess I'm saying personally I wouldn't think too much about it only because just like you that other person might not have been able to find someone they feel is worthy of their time yet long term.

Edit:@mrhatecoffee you really 8 years is a big age difference? I don't think it is esp at them ages you probably still have alt of things in common. I guess for me its not that bad esp at the, ages but if it was 20/28 I might think otherwise

 

[360dagod]

You guys are right but sometimes its a pure numbers thing. For instance, a single.. attractive 33 year old in Iowa is a red flag. Because dudes out here will settle down with you at age 22. It's the culture.

The same woman in Atlanta or New York tho... There may not be anything wrong with her. She may just have standards and most of the guys aren't trying to settle down and there are a ton of young women to compete with. Also, she may have come off a long term relationship that didn't work out. I say this because, hell, I've created a couple of these women. I actually respect some chicks for not settling and lowering their standards.

But I think we all agree that you gotta proceed with caution and do your research. I just hate applying generic rules to people because I wouldn't want anyone to do the same with me. For instance, nowadays I'm hearing a lot of, "Stay away from black men, they don't want to settle down." out there. As a black man, even though I know it's true a lot of times I wouldn't want it held against me if I wanted to be serious with a girl.

Lastly, a young chick who is mature and knows what she wants is just as rare as an old chick who has nothing wrong with her. Two sides of the same coin in my opinion. The only thing for sure is that an older chick will need to have kids ASAP. She doesn't have the benefit of time.

I think thats where the issues are

 

[Mr Hate Coffee]

As far as why she is single even though she might be a "pure gem" couldn't that also be reasonably asked about you too? I guess I'm saying personally I wouldn't think too much about it only because just like you that other person might not have been able to find someone they feel is worthy of their time yet long term.

Edit:@mrhatecoffee you really 8 years is a big age difference? I don't think it is esp at them ages you probably still have alt of things in common. I guess for me its not that bad esp at the, ages but if it was 20/28 I might think otherwise

Its not impossible but its a big difference. For instance I date a girl who is 3 years older than me and its funny how different our experiences are. I had cell phones in high school, she didn't. Or when I dated a girl who was 6 years younger than me and she told me, "I don't know much about Jordan. That was before my time." It's little things obviously, but 8 years is another generation completely.

 

[philmonroe]

Its not impossible but its a big difference. For instance I date a girl who is 3 years older than me and its funny how different our experiences are. I had cell phones in high school, she didn't. Or when I dated a girl who was 6 years younger than me and she told me, "I don't know much about Jordan. That was before my time." It's little things obviously, but 8 years is another generation completely.

Yeah your right but its not that bad outside of things that aren't necessarily deal breakers IMO Thats why I asked. You are definitely right about stuff like that though

 

[EA]

I've been with my girl a year now and she dropped a bomb on me saying she wants to have a kid before she turns 25 (she's 22 now and turns 23 in a few months). I'm only 20 and I'm still studying and I told her that I'm not about that life right now since I wanna have a foundation before I start bring children into this world. She's gotten upset with me and she's saying that I don't rate her.

How should I handle this one, brehs

 

[360dagod]

I've been with my girl a year now and she dropped a bomb on me saying she wants to have a kid before she turns 25 (she's 22 now and turns 23 in a few months). I'm only 20 and I'm still studying and I told her that I'm not about that life right now since I wanna have a foundation before I start bring children into this world. She's gotten upset with me and she's saying that I don't rate her.

How should I handle this one, brehs

Stand your ground

 

[FukyourFort]

I've been with my girl a year now and she dropped a bomb on me saying she wants to have a kid before she turns 25 (she's 22 now and turns 23 in a few months). I'm only 20 and I'm still studying and I told her that I'm not about that life right now since I wanna have a foundation before I start bring children into this world. She's gotten upset with me and she's saying that I don't rate her.

How should I handle this one, brehs

you dont wanna be pushed breh. just gotta decide if thats what you want right now. if it isnt you gotta stick with your guns and hopefully she understands. if not then

 

[EA]

you dont wanna be pushed breh. just gotta decide if thats what you want right now. if it isnt you gotta stick with your guns and hopefully she understands. if not then

I told her that it's not happening and then she said "If you can't give me what I want, why are you with me?" Obviously, I took offence to this so I stopped talking to her for a few days and now she's upset with me because I'm not talking to her

I think she's going through something and she's thinking of having babies as a way to fill a void. Should I be the sympathetic shoulder to lean on and let her pour her soul out to me like she usually does? Or should I continue to keep my distance until this blows over?

 

[360dagod]

I told her that it's not happening and then she said "If you can't give me what I want, why are you with me?" Obviously, I took offence to this so I stopped talking to her for a few days and now she's upset with me because I'm not talking to her

I think she's going through something and she's thinking of having babies as a way to fill a void. Should I be the sympathetic shoulder to lean on and let her pour her soul out to me like she usually does? Or should I continue to keep my distance until this blows over?

Keep that statement in mind...

She is young,but still

 

[EA]

Keep that statement in mind...

She is young,but still

My exact reaction was

 

[FukyourFort]

its a tough call man. i dont wanna cloud your judgement cause im kind of "hard on hoes" right now but i have low tolerance. theres a way to go about it and shes not going about it maturely.she needs some more growing to do before talking about kids. explain to er how shes not going about it the right way maybe

 

[EA]

its a tough call man. i dont wanna cloud your judgement cause im kind of "hard on hoes" right now but i have low tolerance. theres a way to go about it and shes not going about it maturely.she needs some more growing to do before talking about kids. explain to er how shes not going about it the right way maybe

I already broke it down to her. She graduated this year and just started her job so she hasn't really got the money to fully support herself, let alone a child. I made perfect sense when explaining to her that it's not a good idea and she couldn't even dispute it.

Her only response was "I hear what you're saying but I know in my heart that I'm ready to have a child."

I was thinking to myself "My child isn't gonna grow up in a struggling household so you can't be talking about having my babies"

 

[FukyourFort]

I already broke it down to her. She graduated this year and just started her job so she hasn't really got the money to fully support herself, let alone a child. I made perfect sense when explaining to her that it's not a good idea and she couldn't even dispute it.

Her only response was "I hear what you're saying but I know in my heart that I'm ready to have a child."

I was thinking to myself "My child isn't gonna grow up in a struggling household so you can't be talking about having my babies"

yea man you did the right thing. the bolded though is the most important. thats they way we should all be thinking about our futures with these women.
i had to make a hard decision recently that im still struggling with but it was the best choice to make.