Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Poh SIti Dawn]

in other words you have no rebuttal, and have to resort to calling me bitter because i don't conform to the pc way of life. Because I don't want children I'm bitter , because even when i said if i get married i still wouldn';t want children, i';m bitter .

And actually the whole ordeal with my ex fiance i got over that years ago, I haven't seen, spoken to my ex fiance since 2008, try again.

I called you bitter because I've yet to see you say 1 positive thing about your experiences with women, it's always "don't trust them brehs", "get married brehs", "after your date don't text them brehs" all of these feelings and ideas aren't given to you at birth, they're birthed in you over time. And yes, congratulations that's good, but you do realize that from the sounds of things you allowed that woman to destroy you, right? The ether that she gave you was strong enough to make you run to religion, never believe in a true relationship, and not even want to have kids, and don't say that you've always felt that way because if you did then you wouldn't have called off the wedding when she got an abortion. The whole money and time reasoning behind your argument is meaningless when you still casually date, I figure that these things are no other than walls that will be knocked down when you find the right one, that is, if your bitterness doesn't destroy you first.

 

[Auger]

What are your reasons for everyone SHOULD have children?

 

[Poh SIti Dawn]

What are your reasons for everyone SHOULD have children?

That's not my position, I am inquired to know why she doesn't want to have kids, we are males and so our reasons are more likely to be different than those of a female. I'm not speaking of an American woman, I'm speaking of a Brazilian woman, an educated woman at that. It's a totally different world, different type of mind set, and when Reincar speaks of freedom, although I haven't met him his words are often soaked with a sense of confliction, in comparison this woman I felt was totally free and her words didn't contradict her actions and she didn't reek of bitterness.

One night we spoke about cheating (we were roommates) and ironically she had cheated on her boyfriend a week before she had left for berlin, her reasoning was that she felt the need to cheat and she justified her cheating by saying that if you feel that you need to cheat then you should just cheat and get the feeling out of your system, otherwise the feeling will only grow and get worse. Her words reminded me of Clarice Lispector, and that ideology seems to be purely Brazilian, I'm interested and I want to know more; I'm not taking a side and saying everyone should have kids, I just quarreled with Reincar because I know he's bitter and insecure and as much as he devouts his time to claiming he has "freedom" I know he doesn't, if he didn't care about women then he wouldn't be in this thread so often; he just has a love/hate relationship with them because of his past, as you can see he's at war with his past and that's why he often reflects on it.

 

[Still Benefited]

not going to neg at all. IF you read malcolms x book dude gave up and didnt care about women till he met betty.

When i was young I was all about finding women, i envisioned being married and having kids, but as I got older yeah right. The thing is I can be faithful , I can be loving I can be content. But most women nowadays?

To me its not even worth it , i'll casually date if i feel like watching a movie etc., but to get into a relationship with the trash that is out there nowadays yeah right. Love I've only been in love twice in my life and to this day I still love those women, but i';ve had like 10-15 women in my lifetime tell me they love me, to a woman its just a word it seems nowadays.

What if Malcolm jut gave up on the civil rights of black folks like "these cacs ain't shyt,fuk em"?...but damn I got a cousin who say shyt like this and it make me feel guilty for doin my baby mama wrong becuz I got what he want and really didn't want it...I didn't want no kids at this age,didn't plan on meeting a good woman and if I did I was still going to do my thing....which honestly I do still do my thing every once in a while but not like I used to...but I'm doin the family thing moreso now.

It sounds like u DO wanna have kids and a family...u just don't want to put your kids or yourself thru the possible bullshyt....which is a very unselfish of you to be honest,but sumwhat selfish at the same time....and my way was nothing but selfish bringing a kid in to the mix with my mentality....don't regret my daughter one bit though:to....and woul regret not having her NOW,but if I never had her I wouldn't have regreted not havin a kid,if that's not too confusing.

So I definitly understand how you can and are happy not having the family u originally wanted....bcuz u can't miss what you don't have and are not trying to have....but difference is I wasn't trying to have a kid bcuz I simply wasn't ready yet....sounds like you'd want one and a wife if you had the right situation...you've just givin up on that situation it sounds like...and as I said before your reasons are good not wanting to put a kid thru bullshyt or yourself....bout a year ago I wanted to leave my baby mama cuz I wanted my freedom and single life back....but i stayed which was selfish to myself by not going for what I wanted.

But knowing what we know which is there are good women out there....what u and many other people who are anti family for underlying personal reasons,is selfish to yourself and the potential happy wife and kids you could have and give love to...and yea maybe its selfish to yourself to have to put yourself out there again and get hurt while looking for this woman.

But if u look at it like the good woman who will make u happy whos made for u who's out there looking for a good man,and yalls future kids are waiting on you to make the right move,and by not making those moves you are being selfish to yourself and all of them...its a classic case of majority rules...what I'm sayin is true I'm just probaly the wrong person to be sayin it

Not going for it may end up being a regret that hurts so bad it could kill you,or it might be one of those regrets you never feel fuked up about bcuz you never tried for it....only time will tell,hopefully u come out on the good side if u choose not to pursue it

 

[Still Benefited]

And when it come to kids I feel like there's people who didn't know they want kids.....and then there's deadbeat parents.

Only way to find out which one you are is by having them....I didn't want kids now I couldn't imagine not having one....if I picked her up and had the face and walked out the hospital room never to be seen again,THEN I could really say I don't want kids and have substance behind it

 

[Scustin Trillberlake]

Briffault's Law

The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place. — Robert Briffault, The Mothers, Vol. I, p. 191

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Briffault

So much male butthurt could be avoided if they understood this law.

 

[MikelArteta]

I called you bitter because I've yet to see you say 1 positive thing about your experiences with women, it's always "don't trust them brehs", "get married brehs", "after your date don't text them brehs" all of these feelings and ideas aren't given to you at birth, they're birthed in you over time. And yes, congratulations that's good, but you do realize that from the sounds of things you allowed that woman to destroy you, right? The ether that she gave you was strong enough to make you run to religion, never believe in a true relationship, and not even want to have kids, and don't say that you've always felt that way because if you did then you wouldn't have called off the wedding when she got an abortion. The whole money and time reasoning behind your argument is meaningless when you still casually date, I figure that these things are no other than walls that will be knocked down when you find the right one, that is, if your bitterness doesn't destroy you first.

i';ve said more than enough positive things about my experience with women.

here comes the shaming language.

I say trust but verify, i say get married breh as sarcasm whenever a married men gets screwed over. And yes after a date why should I text? Of course feelings and ideas aren't given at birth through experienc, wisdom and knowledge you gain them.

Um no women has ever destroyed me, you call me bitter as if i say screw all women, pump and dump, and url insults at them.

1. I never "ran to religion"
2. I never said I don't believe in a true relationship, I just don't see the point of handing my commitment to most women.
3. I don't want kids, and I have stated my reasons why. My life style is travelling around the world having no responsibilities and living frugally.
4. you have no idea why ic alled off the wedding, i could care less about her having a abortion it was about not talking to me prior in a decision that i should have had a part of that irked me.
5. I casually date aka no responsibilites, aka i spend no money. Do you know what casual dating is? It';s friday and im thinking of going to a movie, so ill scroll through my phone and hit up a girl hey you busy friday? im goign to see so and so, im not paying for her ticket, im just enjoying her company

6. again if i was bitter, i would have released nudes, if i was bitter i would have pumped and dumped every girl in my vicinity, if i was bitter i would be calling every women slut, whore

 

[Jahmal]

Have kids and fall deeper into debt brehs!

 

[CityGuy]

One of the best lessons I've learned is to stay within my zone and let those women that don't fit in it go. Conversations I have with some women are so easy going and flow all day. With others, it's like pulling teeth. When I was younger, I'd probably blame the lack of smooth conversation with some particular woman on myself and try harder, therefore setting me up as a 'try hard', but now I'll back up off that woman because I know that there are other women who the conversation is just glorious. I just have to find them and stop wasting time with the ones I don't have a connection with. If the interest or chemistry isn't there, you are wasting your time 8 times out of 10 trying to force the issue. There are exceptions of men who start off cold with women and keep pursuing and something springs forth, but that's not really my style. There's no need for me to work hard for the attention of one woman when there's another whose willing to give her attention to me much more easily. Learn to stay in your zone.

Daps, so much truth on this one it took me forever to learn. Just because a woman is college educated or smart doesnt mean they have a clue how to hold a convo with a man. I learned that women love to ramble when they're with their girls. The smart ones realize Men only have a 15 - 30 second attention span so you have to have a dff approach

 

[Youseenmywork]

i';ve said more than enough positive things about my experience with women.

here comes the shaming language.

I say trust but verify, i say get married breh as sarcasm whenever a married men gets screwed over. And yes after a date why should I text? Of course feelings and ideas aren't given at birth through experienc, wisdom and knowledge you gain them.

Um no women has ever destroyed me, you call me bitter as if i say screw all women, pump and dump, and url insults at them.

1. I never "ran to religion"
2. I never said I don't believe in a true relationship, I just don't see the point of handing my commitment to most women.
3. I don't want kids, and I have stated my reasons why. My life style is travelling around the world having no responsibilities and living frugally.
4. you have no idea why ic alled off the wedding, i could care less about her having a abortion it was about not talking to me prior in a decision that i should have had a part of that irked me.
5. I casually date aka no responsibilites, aka i spend no money. Do you know what casual dating is? It';s friday and im thinking of going to a movie, so ill scroll through my phone and hit up a girl hey you busy friday? im goign to see so and so, im not paying for her ticket, im just enjoying her company

6. again if i was bitter, i would have released nudes, if i was bitter i would have pumped and dumped every girl in my vicinity, if i was bitter i would be calling every women slut, whore

I have heard the title of bitter tossed around in this thread a lot and I have heard some harsh words outside of this thread about this thread even when I was just a guest and wasn't a member yet . I don't like the bitter title like a lot of men in this room or thread . I say this because we all handle the things women put us threw differently. Some of yall will just go get more women to smash , some become workaholics , some hit the weight room and try to educate themselves of some the things going on in the world , some get back into whatever religion that they subscribe to...etc. And then you have some that come to this thread and bury the ashes or just to tell they pain or share there latest date experience and with no ego I like reading ALL of it...and yes there is ignorance but find a thread were there is no form of ignorance on any blog . And certain men in this room are writing a book to help I hope the young men not to go threw the dark side of the game this are just to get the knowledge out there to the world how a young black male or men in general look at relationships in an honest perspective because a lot of us have ran into a lot of women who don't care about our perspective all they(women) have is a woman's perspective and that's all they care about . We as men are all on different levels of maturity and physiologically when it comes to these women. So those who are on the outside looking in or even those in the thread with "bitter" tag remember at one point and time we men wasn't like this so the lesson is as we mature the so will the post...I hope To the men in the room that are "bitter" or angry something I learned from Patrice is you have to learn to be ...philosophical about your anger and women all together . BE EASY yall

 

[Youseenmywork]

I have heard the title of bitter tossed around in this thread a lot and I have heard some harsh words outside of this thread about this thread even when I was just a guest and wasn't a member yet . I don't like the bitter title like a lot of men in this room or thread . I say this because we all handle the things women put us threw differently. Some of yall will just go get more women to smash , some become workaholics , some hit the weight room and try to educate themselves of some the things going on in the world , some get back into whatever religion that they subscribe to...etc. And then you have some that come to this thread and bury the ashes or just to tell they pain or share there latest date experience and with no ego I like reading ALL of it...and yes there is ignorance but find a thread were there is no form of ignorance on any blog . And certain men in this room are writing a book to help I hope the young men not to go threw the dark side of the game this are just to get the knowledge out there to the world how a young black male or men in general look at relationships in an honest perspective because a lot of us have ran into a lot of women who don't care about our perspective all they(women) have is a woman's perspective and that's all they care about . We as men are all on different levels of maturity and physiologically when it comes to these women. So those who are on the outside looking in or even those in the thread with "bitter" tag remember at one point and time we men wasn't like this so the lesson is as we mature the so will the post...I hope To the men in the room that are "bitter" or angry something I learned from Patrice is you have to learn to be ...philosophical about your anger and women all together . BE EASY yall

But all this time I was being me, not being you
I get behind that mic, let all my demons through
Without knowing shyt about the people that I’m speaking to
-Joe budden

 

[kevm3]

The position reincar is coming from is I believe he's very wary on relationships with women because he knows firsthand the mentality of a lot of women and how that mentality can completely throw a man's life in the wringer if he's not careful. Now that's not the mentality of EVERY woman, but it's prevalent enough to where if you aren't stepping carefully, you will walk right into a landmine. For example, you might deal with some woman and she eventually admits to you she cheated on her last boyfriend... but you and her have had such wonderful conversations, you just hold her in such high regard that you just willingly ignore that red flag and start 'having feelings for her.' You and her eventually become boyfriend and girlfriend because everything just seems so cool... but best believe, sooner or later, her nature will come out and she will do unto you that she did unto others.

That's what makes this game so difficult in this day and age. It's not like our parents days. We are in an era of unprecedented communication where women can have dozens of guys nearly worshiping her at the touch of a button and never having anyone to instill any real morals into her. Thus, she is constantly getting attention and will buy into it. When you meet this woman, her personality can be cool as a fan and it seems like you two have the best connection in the world, but due to the nature of her morality, or lack thereof, a man that doesn't recognize what is going on will be setting himself up for a lot of heartache and headache. Men who don't want to admit just how gritty the dating game has gotten will call you all kinds of names because you are laying out the reality of how it is, and sometimes the truth can be unbelievably unsavory... but living that fantasy can be much worse. Always enjoy your encounters out there, but you have to be cognizant of what a woman's intentions are and you have to be able to assess her character before you decide to take that next step and invest in her. It's just like that story of that woman who pulled out $15,000 from her and her husband's joint account to go help out her ex-con boyfriend. The sad thing is that if they get divorced, she will probably get the house, kids, car, alimony, and child support... and there is absolutely nothing the man did wrong. If you're not careful, you will get TORE up out here. Enjoy yourself, but you always have to be wary of the risks.

 

[Poh SIti Dawn]

The position reincar is coming from is I believe he's very wary on relationships with women because he knows firsthand the mentality of a lot of women and how that mentality can completely throw a man's life in the wringer if he's not careful. Now that's not the mentality of EVERY woman, but it's prevalent enough to where if you aren't stepping carefully, you will walk right into a landmine. For example, you might deal with some woman and she eventually admits to you she cheated on her last boyfriend... but you and her have had such wonderful conversations, you just hold her in such high regard that you just willingly ignore that red flag and start 'having feelings for her.' You and her eventually become boyfriend and girlfriend because everything just seems so cool... but best believe, sooner or later, her nature will come out and she will do unto you that she did unto others.

That's what makes this game so difficult in this day and age. It's not like our parents days. We are in an era of unprecedented communication where women can have dozens of guys nearly worshiping her at the touch of a button and never having anyone to instill any real morals into her. Thus, she is constantly getting attention and will buy into it. When you meet this woman, her personality can be cool as a fan and it seems like you two have the best connection in the world, but due to the nature of her morality, or lack thereof, a man that doesn't recognize what is going on will be setting himself up for a lot of heartache and headache. Men who don't want to admit just how gritty the dating game has gotten will call you all kinds of names because you are laying out the reality of how it is, and sometimes the truth can be unbelievably unsavory... but living that fantasy can be much worse. Always enjoy your encounters out there, but you have to be cognizant of what a woman's intentions are and you have to be able to assess her character before you decide to take that next step and invest in her. It's just like that story of that woman who pulled out $15,000 from her and her husband's joint account to go help out her ex-con boyfriend. The sad thing is that if they get divorced, she will probably get the house, kids, car, alimony, and child support... and there is absolutely nothing the man did wrong. If you're not careful, you will get TORE up out here. Enjoy yourself, but you always have to be wary of the risks.

C'est la vie bruv, you going to deprive yourself of experiencing life? Taking these risks may make you happy or they might make you sad, get out there, live.


Thanks for intervening ke

Sorry reincar.

 

[kevm3]

Now one of those things a lot of guys are accepting of is letting their woman go to the club while they are in a relationship or dating a woman when they know she hits up the club all the time. It's tough because she's so cool, but she just has that one trait that makes you throw her back... but this video is a perfect example of why you don't date a club flower... aka a woman rooted in the club scene:



your girl rings you up to pick her up from that 'night out' with the girls at 5 in the morning to come get her at the hotel that her and the girls just had to stop at. "We didn't want to drive home drunk, so we had to get us a room!" You know something is funny and you ask her what did ya'll do at the club... "Oh nothing. Me and the girls just had a few drinks, walked around and caught up with old friends." Since you got feelings for her, you know something is wrong, but you choose not to believe it because you don't want to face the reality of what it is... but take that video in mind and think to yourself do you want to build something with a woman that is doing that every weekend? It's tough, but you have to learn to throw fish back... a lot of them look great on the outside, but are filled with mercury and other poisons on the inside. That's what makes the game so tough these days. You will have to throw back a LOT of fish... but when you do come across that one that is fit for consumption, that's when you feast. Always hold a woman's morals in MUCH higher regards than how big her booty is or how she does this or that freaky act. It's not an easy lesson in this age of lust, but so necessary if you want to be able to build with a woman.

 

[kevm3]

C'est la vie bruv, you going to deprive yourself of experiencing life? Taking these risks may make you happy or they might make you sad, get out there, live.


Thanks for intervening ke

Sorry reincar.

I will never deprive myself of experiencing life, but what I will deprive myself of is being in the company of people who will take my life into the gutter if I let them hang around. Now to me, bitterness is when you start punishing the decent and nice girls along with the bad ones because you've come across a few bad apples. The key is finding that balance and looking at life through a realistic perspective. You don't want to dismiss ALL women, but you will have to dismiss a lot of them when it's said and done unless you want to be locked up paying for a kid that isn't yours or some other such nonsense. You've heard the saying YOLO. Most take that to mean to do any and everything no matter how risky it is. I take the other position. You know you have one life, so make sure you aren't doing something stupid and sacrificing your tomorrows for a few quickly passing pleasures today. Keep on stepping and enjoying life, but make sure to tread carefully and avoid the landmines and spiked pits that are out there.