Post your funny/horrible stories from Apt living

[Orbital-Fetus]

Arnt abandoned buildings dangerous to live in?

i suppose.
they don't get regularly maintained or inspected but it's free.

 

[FaTaL]

i suppose.
they don't get regularly maintained or inspected but it's free.

I mean the crime

 

[Orbital-Fetus]

I mean the crime

it was the South Bronx in the early 80's.
i don't know what else i can say to paint the picture.

 

[Phlipside]

One time I opened my apartment door and saw a pitbull leap from one dudes apartment onto the back of another dude that was struggling to open his apartment door.... The dog pushed the guy into his crib and somehow the door slammed shut and u just heard dishes breaking... Furniture being thrown with barking and screaming as the soundtrack..... I just jetted down the stairs and headed to school... .

Possibly the funniest shyt
I've read on here!

 

[DropTopDoc]

Just a few days ago i was moving out. These two cats kicked in the door of my next door neighbor and kidnapped the dude who lives there.

i was about when i watched them do it cuz dude been selling drugs since he moved in and plays loud music n shyt ,does construction late at night and have all types of folks in and out of the place





They must’ve let him go cuz he was doing construction again last night when i was leaving for good.

nikkas pulled a kick Do wow that’s wild

 

[DropTopDoc]

Possibly the funniest shyt
I've read on here!

Dog, i really want to know the back story and aftermath, i probably wouldn’t be able to breathe

 

[Amerikan Melanin]

Spoiler: Long story

This was back in San Francisco when I was in college
My ex had just moved out and I was a fukking mess
So I tried my best to stay away from the crib and just worked
Or kick it at my patnas crib in the city
A creh and a bad ass Chinese chick had moved across the way from me one weekend
It was during the summer so she had some denim shorts on with a little bubble
For reference this is how our apartments were

so I lived to the left upstairs and they lived to the right upstairs
Our kitchen windows faced each other
Anyway Im walking up the street to my apartment and I saw them cheeks hanging while she was getting stuff out of her Honda Accord

she turned around was
Oh you startled me
Me: Oh I’m sorry, I’m your neighbor In apartment 4
My names Kiyoshi
Nice to meet you I’m Jennifer
Creh must have heard us talking
So he gallops down the stairs

hey what’s up man can I help you
Me: It ain’t even like that my man
I’m your neighbor across the way
Didn’t know that was yours
Yea, Yea well good meeting you
Her
Me
Y’all have a good one and nice meeting you Jennifer
So they finish moving in and I thought nothing of it
Couple weeks go by and since I live near the beach
I was going to throw a bonfire
Needed to get my mind off my ex
Saw Jennifer at the mailboxes
Now we would pass looks and exchange pleasantries
Lite flirting but I had some morals about me at the time
So I didn’t pursue anything
Plus she would see girls come in and out of the crib
And made a slight remark
You doing it like that over there
I mean you are more than welcome to come over anytime
But your mans might kill you
Her might be worth the risk
Me(in my mind say less) but I justand went to work
Fast forward to the bonfire
I invited her and her dude
Everybody having a good time at the function
Sista from Oakland I was sweating like a muthafukka showed up
And we kicking it and shyt but I could see Jennifer giving the side eye while I’m trying to get it in with little momma from the town
Still no plex
Anyway it’s getting dark and cold
So everybody is starting to head out
I’m striking out badly with little momma(but we ended up dating sometime afterwards and she was my second heartbreak
Another story for a different time)
So I’m walking her to her car
Dap my nikkas up
And start walking back to the crib
Now I’m faded but not assed out faded
So as I’m walking up I can see my neighbors kitchen window open
With the curtains drawn back
Now I’m not thinking anything of it but
As I’m walking up the stairs I see them doing the sex
I mean just sloppy drunk sex
It’s about 12am so none of my other neighbors are up(at last that’s what I thought)
Just a surreal moment

anyway I finish walking up the stairs and put my key in my door
Walk in as I’m going to close my door
Creh got this bytch from behind and i caught eyes with Jennifer for a sec
I’m just

Jennifer
Went ahead and closed my door and started
Morning comes around and have to get to Niketown(my second job)
So I’m gathering my shyt and walking down to my Muni stop
My downstairs neighbor was a old Filipino dude
Married to his wife for 35 years
Cool muthafukka
And he was like
You catch the show(that pinoy accent, IYKYK )
Me
Him
He won’t be making any babies with that stroke
Me
That was an eventful ride to work
Came home that night and just

as I walked up the stairs
It was always awkward between me and creh afterwards
I guess creh really thought he got it in
Little did he know what was going on during the day time after my classes
First girl who committed a homi behind me
Last I heard they been married for 15 years
Two Kids in LA

nikka did you fukk or not?

 

[DropTopDoc]

nikka did you fukk or not?

He said he was blessing her

 

[Hawaiian Punch]

One time I opened my apartment door and saw a pitbull leap from one dudes apartment onto the back of another dude that was struggling to open his apartment door.... The dog pushed the guy into his crib and somehow the door slammed shut and u just heard dishes breaking... Furniture being thrown with barking and screaming as the soundtrack..... I just jetted down the stairs and headed to school... .

Oh my God this is the funniest shyt I read in a while

 

[DropTopDoc]

Oh my God this is the funniest shyt I read in a while

Cuz you gotta know he was throwing everything at that dog, i need to know how they got the dog out

 

[Geek Nasty]

Not really a nightmare, but I rented this townhouse and there was something weird about the layout I could never figure out. The walls in the basement weren’t sealed at the top so basically no noise insulation between units. After a few months at figured what they did was turn the front into the back (the small yards were in the front yard and you walked into the kitchen not the living room) so that they could cut into basement space to add a couple more basement units per building

 

[DropTopDoc]

Not really a nightmare, but I rented this townhouse and there was something weird about the layout I could never figure out. The walls in the basement weren’t sealed at the top so basically no noise insulation between units. After a few months at figured what they did was turn the front into the back (the small yards were in the front yard and you walked into the kitchen not the living room) so that they could cut into basement space to add a couple more basement units per building

That’s terrible

 

[DropTopDoc]

Bump