Porn Moves You Tried In Real Life To Negative Results

[F*ckthemkids]

I was at a house party back in the day getting head in the bathroom and threw some coke on my dikk then threw it down her throat she casually turned; puked in the toilet and went RIGHT BACK 2 IT LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED

You were in the presence of a hoefessional

 

[Rekkapryde]

I told this girl l was gonna hit her with The Long Stroke™ and ended up running out of meat

She never called me back

I hate yall

 

[BuckFilly]

 

[BuckFilly]

This shyt too funny

 

[Playaz Eyez]

I remember getting head back in college from my gf at the time (we hadn’t been dating that long) and I slapped her during it (not that hard but still with a little force) and she was HOT We had finished fukking and she smacked me out of nowhere and said “don’t ever do that again…or at least give me a warning”

 

[EVILRICO]

I’ve done the slap on the forehead with my dck. 2 out of 3 liked it
Had one girl let me stick my entire hand in her cooter. She was tiny too.

 

[Yehuda]

I was hitting a girl froggystyle and she straight bust out laughing.

She said I didn't have enough dikk for that position

 

[Don Snow]

a lot of thing listed on here yall just doing it wrong




Women love dirty talk but you can’t just call her a bytch right away





You gotta start off calling her sexy then say she a bad bytch and ease your way in then you can call her a bytch and slut etc

 

[Fill Collins]

Started sucking her toes she told me to stop

 

[Kasgoinjail]

Ewww

 

[FlyBoy718]

Before we had children my baby father and I would travel, so we in a hotel I'm trying some new ish..

Took one step towards him tryna be seductive and I nearly fell an bust my head to the white meat.

6 inch stripper heels
Tiled flooring
Baby oil

These things don't go well together

Not really porn related but I remember my wife called herself giving me a lap dance. I have a seat and she gives me the sexy walk before sitting on my lap with her back facing me. She gets into her little routine, bends over while twerking, and immediately let's one rip One of those joints that linger too Mood killer of the highest degree.

This thread is pure comedy

 

[KidJSoul]

Not really porn related but I remember my wife called herself giving me a lap dance. I have a seat and she gives me the sexy walk before sitting on my lap with her back facing me. She gets into her little routine, bends over while twerking, and immediately let's one rip One of those joints that linger too Mood killer of the highest degree.

This thread is pure comedy

Wow

How did she react after?

 

[Traveler]

My ex has conditioned me to choking but most girls don’t like it one time I did it I felt her shyt get noticeably more wet man damn that was a good sesh I’m just gonna retire it unless they say they like it like she did

I found most like it.the first time I was asked I was kinda freaked out and was thinking don’t kill this bytch. After I got some experience I been slipping it in and never been told to stop. Women love being lightly chocked.

I tried to step on my ex’s head while hitting it from the back. That shyt is harder than it looks and not pleasurable. She didn’t stop me but after told me to never try that shyt again.

 

[FlyBoy718]

E

Wow

How did she react after?

Truly embarrassed. Whenever she gets on my nerves nowadays, I'll subtly remind her of that episode every now and then

 

[KidJSoul]

E

Truly embarrassed. Whenever she gets on my nerves nowadays, I'll subtly remind her of that episode every now and then

"bytch don't act like you ain't farted on my lap "