People who don't work but want to be in a relationship

[MJ Truth]

My sister got knocked up twice by a nikka with no job
He never worked his whole life(25yo).she used to fill out apps for him and when he got hired the couple times,he quit after a day or two with some petty ass complaint saying it wasn't for him
They first child going on 4yo and all this nikka do is play ps4,watch Netflix and get high on her dime..he is literally her fourth child.then he disrespectful on top of all thatbig overgrown ass man spoiled ass hell,throwing hissy fits when she tell him no and she always eventually gives in.he even complain about watching their kids while she work


I seriously don't know how she does it..love I guess but I'll feel some typa way laying up with a man everyday while I'm working,struggling,calling around tryna borrow money for gas with past due bills sitting on the counter

I don't like his ass at all and she deserves way better but I don't feel sorry for her anymore.she know not to complain and vent about him to me anymore.I don't wanna hear that shyt.you pacify and enable him to sit on his ass all day.wat u hoping he gone wake up one day and finally wanna earn a living and do sum wit his life.told her straight up bytch u act like one of them slow ass desperate women and he taking full advantage
she got mad at me

It's not love, it's lack of confidence. She really hates that dude. She hates herself too for staying with that dude. She's just used to the situation, doesn't want to "hurt" the kids, and she's scared of what her life would be like if she actually got rid of him. Her spirit is probably down, and he's probably put it into her head that she wouldn't be shyt without him, and probably threatened her at some point that if she leaves him he'll fukk up her life (even though he really doesn't have that capability). I feel for her, but she COULD get out of that situation. I have a cousin in that EXACT same position (she only has one kid with the dude though, meanwhile she's taking care of two of his other ones as well, smh).

This is why I argue against people who say that having fathers around is what would solve the Black community's problems. It's not that, it's just the resources; logically, you would think having two parents in the home would provide twice the resources, but when you have a man like this around, even if it's the biological father, I think it does more harm than good.

 

[MJ Truth]

Same thing here. I'm a guy and I'm just very old school in that I can't be trying to court a girl when my finances and general life isn't in order. Even in college I was like that which in hindsight may not have been the best approach since girls don't really expect much from you in college since everyone is "in the struggle".

Yes. You ARE very old school lol.

 

[phcitywarrior]

Yes. You ARE very old school lol.

I dont see it as a bad thing. By the way, court in Nigeria has a different meaning. In America, court is akin to trying to marry, Nigeria its more so dating/feeling a babe out. I mean it the latter sense.

 

[My Name Is My Naaame]

Delete

 

[My Name Is My Naaame]

It's not love, it's lack of confidence. She really hates that dude. She hates herself too for staying with that dude. She's just used to the situation, doesn't want to "hurt" the kids, and she's scared of what her life would be like if she actually got rid of him. Her spirit is probably down, and he's probably put it into her head that she wouldn't be shyt without him, and probably threatened her at some point that if she leaves him he'll fukk up her life (even though he really doesn't have that capability). I feel for her, but she COULD get out of that situation. I have a cousin in that EXACT same position (she only has one kid with the dude though, meanwhile she's taking care of two of his other ones as well, smh).

This is why I argue against people who say that having fathers around is what would solve the Black community's problems. It's not that, it's just the resources; logically, you would think having two parents in the home would provide twice the resources, but when you have a man like this around, even if it's the biological father, I think it does more harm than good.

da fukk wrong with her

 

[MJ Truth]

I dont see it as a bad thing. By the way, court in Nigeria has a different meaning. In America, court is akin to trying to marry, Nigeria its more so dating/feeling a babe out. I mean it the latter sense.

Lol, I wasn't trying to imply anything was wrong with it, I was just referring to you using the word "court a woman".

 

[Gold]

I used to be ok with the idea of having a person who doesn't work and I'll take care of him as long as he does the duties a stay at home wife/girlfriend usually does, cooking, cleaning, not being annoying, ect.
That could work if the couple has an understanding and it's also circumstantial.

That sounds harder than working a job

 

[EARFQUAKE]

That sounds harder than working a job

You better get in that kitchen

 

[Gold]

You better get in that kitchen

You aint ready for a KetogenicChef

 

[EARFQUAKE]

You aint ready for a KetogenicChef

I need a better diet, I have a APFT coming up

 

[Gold]

I need a better diet, I have a APFT coming up

You in the gym more than me tho
APFT is ez, u got this


Would you date a man who as in between jobs tho? Or would you require him to find a new one before he approaches you?

 

[EARFQUAKE]

You in the gym more than me tho
APFT is ez, u got this


Would you date a man who as in between jobs tho? Or would you require him to find a new one before he approaches you?

If he's in between jobs that means he's working on trying to, well, work. That shows effort. I wouldn't want someone who has no aspiration for providing for himself.

 

[Gold]

If he's in between jobs that means he's working on trying to, well, work. That shows effort. I wouldn't want someone who has no aspiration for providing for himself.

How do you feel about income? If you are dating someone is it important for you to know exactly how much he makes?
If so, do you expect different treatment/standards based on his income?

Do you expect fancier things the more income your man makes?

How about a man making 2.5k a month vs a man making 10k a month?

What if he spends alot of money on things that seem pointless to you... would you expect him to spend more on you based on that?

 

[EARFQUAKE]

How do you feel about income? If you are dating someone is it important for you to know exactly how much he makes?
If so, do you expect different treatment/standards based on his income?

Do you expect fancier things the more income your man makes?

How about a man making 2.5k a month vs a man making 10k a month?

What if he spends alot of money on things that seem pointless to you... would you expect him to spend more on you based on that?

I don't need to know the specifics, I just need to know that he knows how to handle his money. He's secured even if he spends money on dumb stuff, because I like to spend money on dumb stuff but I get all my bills paid on time.

Due to the fact that I work I wouldn't rely on him buying me certain things. Things that I want I'll work toward buying. Whatever he buys me I will appreciate the gesture more than the product.

 

[Gold]

I don't need to know the specifics, I just need to know that he knows how to handle his money. He's secured even if he spends money on dumb stuff, because I like to spend money on dumb stuff but I get all my bills paid on time.

Due to the fact that I work I wouldn't rely on him buying me certain things. Things that I want I'll work toward buying. Whatever he buys me I will appreciate the gesture more than the product.

Interesting...

Budget specifics aside, what are good indicators to you that a man knows how to (or how not to) handle his money?