Oprah and Iyanla teaching Men about Fatherhood?

[Doobie Doo]

How fukked up is our community when women are teaching men how to be fathers

And nikkas steal won't step up and take ownership of being a man and rather be content to hide behind our women

Bruh it's not that nikkas won't step up, it's just real nikkas got to go to work and handle business on the home front. Real nikkas ain't got time for no got dayum seminars lead by two motherless brawds running they mouth about a bunch of shyt they don't know. That's like two faq nikkas having a seminar on how to fukk p*ssy. Men in general have a lot shyt like laws going against us cause at the end of the day,we don't vote. We got shyt to do, the only people that vote are women and the elderly.

 

[Why-Fi]

do either of them even have kids?

 

[rapbeats]

im not in a tirade mood but i will say that i do not like iyanla at all

if you dont like iyanla at all. its because you dont like to get to the nitty gritty of the issue. you like to DANCE around it. you dont like her in your face, lets get to the bottom of it approach. that type of approach is NECESSARY for black people in GENERAL. not all. but MOST. thats how black folks need to be talked to ... IN GENERAL. especially the real hood ones. truth is, thats how hood anybodies No matter your race(them hood whites too). for some reason us hoodies wont listen to a nice soft spoken person thats trying to take their time with us. we will run that type of counselor over. this is where Iyanla comes in. and works well.

 

[Why-Fi]

if you dont like iyanla at all. its because you dont like to get to the nitty gritty of the issue. you like to DANCE around it. you dont like her in your face, lets get to the bottom of it approach. that type of approach is NECESSARY for black people in GENERAL. not all. but MOST. thats how black folks need to be talked to ... IN GENERAL. especially the real hood ones. truth is, thats how hood anybodies No matter your race(them hood whites too). for some reason us hoodies wont listen to a nice soft spoken person thats trying to take their time with us. we will run that type of counselor over. this is where Iyanla comes in. and works well.

wrong. i love nipping things in the bud and i dont dance around jack, but i dont like iyanla. her show is exploitive trash tv wrapped in sanctimony and it made me lose all respect for her and some for oprah. she doesnt help people, she antagonizes them enough to give her an excuse to break fool for the cameras. she disgusts me...

 

[rapbeats]

It's a totaly misguided effort. You can't "teach" someone how to be a mother/father. Oprah and black people as a community need to concentrate on providing educational/economic opportunities for our children.

The more educational/economic success a person has, the more likely they are to get married and raise a family. You learn how to be a father as you go. The most important thing is being able to provide for that child.

People put way too much stock in the "unwed children" rate. In reality if we ride through the hood marrying people nothing will change. We need to address the problems that lead people torward that type of lifestyle instead to expecting them to change cause someone said they should.

actually YOU'RE WRONG. you dont figure it out as you GO. you are taught everything you know from a child to death.

some is by trial and error. but some things you dont have to try and face errors that your father faced or other fathers have faced. thats like not putting your kid in a baby seat. sure if you get into an accident and you're lucky enough your kid survives. you can use that as a teachable moment. but odds are your kid wont survive. or wont be the same after. do you really want to only use TRIAL and error as your method of learning how to be a great father? NO. thats stupid. use other people who have been there and done that. to help you before you ever become a father. then help you during your fatherhood.

you can be ultra educated and still DUMB in the area of relationships(husband, wife, father, friend,etc).

regular book education does not make you a better person. it makes you a better candidate to get a better career perhaps and make more money. money does not make you a better father, mother, husband or wife. now sure you can be educated on those things as well. but to do that. you need those who are better at it then you to TEACH YOU.

with all that said. thanks but no thanks Harpo productions. Go get some great fathers to teach this class.

 

[Taadow]

It's a totaly misguided effort. You can't "teach" someone how to be a mother/father. Oprah and black people as a community need to concentrate on providing educational/economic opportunities for our children.

The more educational/economic success a person has, the more likely they are to get married and raise a family. You learn how to be a father as you go. The most important thing is being able to provide for that child.

People put way too much stock in the "unwed children" rate. In reality if we ride through the hood marrying people nothing will change. We need to address the problems that lead people torward that type of lifestyle instead to expecting them to change cause someone said they should.

You're going too far too fast in this particular case...before we even talk about having families and being mothers and fathers, we talmbat how to be "men" and "women" first - that's a big enough task in itself.

Let's be real - even if you are not "educationally or economically 'successful' (*groan*)", if you are a "man" or "woman" you know how to purport yourself in your current state. A lot of people need to work on that first before we even talk about what needs to happen with their potential children...

 

[↓R↑LYB]

Bruh it's not that nikkas won't step up, it's just real nikkas got to go to work and handle business on the home front. Real nikkas ain't got time for no got dayum seminars lead by two motherless brawds running they mouth about a bunch of shyt they don't know. That's like two faq nikkas having a seminar on how to fukk p*ssy. Men in general have a lot shyt like laws going against us cause at the end of the day,we don't vote. We got shyt to do, the only people that vote are women and the elderly.

Come on breh. Laws ain't the reason men ain't stepping up to be fathers. It's a lack of character and responsibility of men to be men. And the dudes who claim to be men, don't reach out to the cats in need of help to give em advice, direction, and guidance.

Black men do need their own movement, but not the bytch made shyt that nikkas on the internet created. We need a movement of men teaching other men what manhood is all about, not a movement blaming women for why they can't get no p*ssy.

 

[Rawtid]

To touch on the "men are supposed to be providers" idea

I think men should scrap the idea that money defines their manhood because when they get into a situation where they don't have money, you often see issues with them stepping up to the plate.

Women also need to scrap the idea that because they make the money (or the most money) they are the leader or the "man". NO you're not...you just make more money.

 

[Doobie Doo]

Come on breh. Laws ain't the reason men ain't stepping up to be fathers. It's a lack of character and responsibility of men to be men. And the dudes who claim to be men, don't reach out to the cats in need of help to give em advice, direction, and guidance.

Black men do need their own movement, but not the bytch made shyt that nikkas on the internet created. We need a movement of men teaching other men what manhood is all about, not a movement blaming women for why they can't get no p*ssy.

I mean laws in general...child support laws, alimony laws, divorce settlement laws etc. Women and the elderly vote on that shyt cuz men are usually working not realizing they should vote.

 

[MeachTheMonster]

actually YOU'RE WRONG. you dont figure it out as you GO. you are taught everything you know from a child to death.

your surroundings dictate the type of person you are. Raising a child is something you teach yourself. You draw from life experiences but ultimately you and the child raise each other. Which is why I said we should address the things that make people who they are, then good "fatherhood" will fall in line.

some is by trial and error. but some things you dont have to try and face errors that your father faced or other fathers have faced. thats like not putting your kid in a baby seat. sure if you get into an accident and you're lucky enough your kid survives. you can use that as a teachable moment. but odds are your kid wont survive. or wont be the same after. do you really want to only use TRIAL and error as your method of learning how to be a great father? NO. thats stupid. use other people who have been there and done that. to help you before you ever become a father. then help you during your fatherhood.

sure obvious things like using car seats are learned behavior. But day to day life/upbringing/bonding can't be taught.

you can be ultra educated and still DUMB in the area of relationships(husband, wife, father, friend,etc).

We are all dumb at it until we do it. More education and money makes it more likely that we make the correct decisions in our relationships. And it doesn't matter how "smart" you are in the area of relationships, if you don't have sufficient resources, you will never be able to foster healthy relationships/family

regular book education does not make you a better person. it makes you a better candidate to get a better career perhaps and make more money. money does not make you a better father, mother, husband or wife. now sure you can be educated on those things as well. but to do that. you need those who are better at it then you to TEACH YOU.

Money doesn't make you a better person, but lack of money is probably the number one thing that stands in the way of healthy relationships. Fathers run away from their kids cause they don't have the money to raise them. Mothers are less likely to work at a relationship with a man that can't provide. Like I said its all a learning experience and having resources make that experience a lot easier.

with all that said. thanks but no thanks Harpo productions. Go get some great fathers to teach this class.

I agree men should be teaching these types of classes, but these types of classes will do absolutely nothing to address the "unwed child" issue regardless of who's teaching them.

 

[MeachTheMonster]

You're going too far too fast in this particular case...before we even talk about having families and being mothers and fathers, we talmbat how to be "men" and "women" first - that's a big enough task in itself.

Let's be real - even if you are not "educationally or economically 'successful' (*groan*)", if you are a "man" or "woman" you know how to purport yourself in your current state. A lot of people need to work on that first before we even talk about what needs to happen with their potential children...

What creates "bad" behavior in men/women?

 

[twan83]

i think i do just fine in fatherhood. i provide everything i need for my kids. they have a roof over their heads, food, clothes & transportation

they have more than enough love from their father. Can i improve my fatherhood?absolutely. will i improve? damn straight i will

i will walks to the end of the this earth to ensure my kids happiness and nothing matter's too me more than seeing them smile and saying daddy i love you every night when i tuck them too bed

 

[rapbeats]

your surroundings dictate the type of person you are. Raising a child is something you teach yourself. You draw from life experiences but ultimately you and the child raise each other. Which is why I said we should address the things that make people who they are, then good "fatherhood" will fall in line.

sure obvious things like using car seats are learned behavior. But day to day life/upbringing/bonding can't be taught.


We are all dumb at it until we do it. More education and money makes it more likely that we make the correct decisions in our relationships. And it doesn't matter how "smart" you are in the area of relationships, if you don't have sufficient resources, you will never be able to foster healthy relationships/family


Money doesn't make you a better person, but lack of money is probably the number one thing that stands in the way of healthy relationships. Fathers run away from their kids cause they don't have the money to raise them. Mothers are less likely to work at a relationship with a man that can't provide. Like I said its all a learning experience and having resources make that experience a lot easier.


I agree men should be teaching these types of classes, but these types of classes will do absolutely nothing to address the "unwed child" issue regardless of who's teaching them.

you sound like one of those types that think Trial and error is the only way you can be taught. thats not true.

the reality is, you can be taught. now granted being taught how to become a great father is not something that happens in a classroom setting. but that can HELP. we are taught from babies on up to death. if your father was a great father/husband. you will know what it takes, you will most likely MIMIC what you saw growing up. we are no more or no less then sponges. we soak up whatever game is around us. if its a bunch of nonsense we will learn the bad as well and until someone shows us different we will do the bad.

when i say it can be taught i'm not talking about with books and seminars. those are things to SPARK something in you or get you back on track.

the best way we learn is from watching others that know how to do the job well. we watch, the mimic. thats how we were designed.

this is why going to church on sunday can help, but it doesnt make you a great christian. to pull that off, you need to know other great christians. so you have something to follow on your everyday path.

remember some people really believe if you provide for your child you are being a great father.

some think as long as i'm THERE(meaning you didnt run off like a bunch of other hood daddies do). and there not meaning there actually providing or being a loving father. just be physically present.

some people think even if i dont provide for my kid and even if i'm not there. if i pop in every now and then. and i'm real cool with my kid. then i'm a very good father. cause at least i have a legit working relationship with my kid where we can talk.

the truth is, to be a GREAT father, you have to not only provide, and not only be there. but also have a good relationship with your child as a person not just your kid. they are little people. not just Kids. this is why you talk to them as if they are people and not just "KIDS".

but even with all that you still cant be a GREAT father. you can only be a GOOD one. to be Great, you have to be a GREAT Husband. that means if you have a baby's mama situation. you can only be a very Good father. but not great. its impossible to be great when your child is inbetween homes. its just not possible. thats a hard and tough lesson to learn. its one more reason for us to not have kids with people we are not married to. you also cant be a bad husband while married and think just cause you are married and you are a good dad. that it makes you a great father. your kids see everything you do. if you act like an A.. to your wife. guess what your son will do to his mother growing up, and as well to women (even teachers), as well as women he deals with and his wife one day? he will most likely act like an A... just like you did.

again people are sponges, we soak up the info that is around us the most. whatever that is. it will make us into who we are.

 

[Taadow]

What creates "bad" behavior in men/women?

Peoples' behavior is created by what they want to do. There are outside factors/conditions that influence them (such as family), but ultimately people will do what they determine is right for them - "good" and "bad" are relative terms.

Where I agree with you is that people will try to improve themselves only when they want to do so - Iyanla and Oprah may or may not expedite that process, and i'm leaning toward "may not".

 

[MeachTheMonster]

you sound like one of those types that think Trial and error is the only way you can be taught. thats not true.

the reality is, you can be taught. now granted being taught how to become a great father is not something that happens in a classroom setting. but that can HELP. we are taught from babies on up to death. if your father was a great father/husband. you will know what it takes, you will most likely MIMIC what you saw growing up. we are no more or no less then sponges. we soak up whatever game is around us. if its a bunch of nonsense we will learn the bad as well and until someone shows us different we will do the bad.

when i say it can be taught i'm not talking about with books and seminars. those are things to SPARK something in you or get you back on track.

the best way we learn is from watching others that know how to do the job well. we watch, the mimic. thats how we were designed.

this is why going to church on sunday can help, but it doesnt make you a great christian. to pull that off, you need to know other great christians. so you have something to follow on your everyday path.

remember some people really believe if you provide for your child you are being a great father.

some think as long as i'm THERE(meaning you didnt run off like a bunch of other hood daddies do). and there not meaning there actually providing or being a loving father. just be physically present.

some people think even if i dont provide for my kid and even if i'm not there. if i pop in every now and then. and i'm real cool with my kid. then i'm a very good father. cause at least i have a legit working relationship with my kid where we can talk.

the truth is, to be a GREAT father, you have to not only provide, and not only be there. but also have a good relationship with your child as a person not just your kid. they are little people. not just Kids. this is why you talk to them as if they are people and not just "KIDS".

but even with all that you still cant be a GREAT father. you can only be a GOOD one. to be Great, you have to be a GREAT Husband. that means if you have a baby's mama situation. you can only be a very Good father. but not great. its impossible to be great when your child is inbetween homes. its just not possible. thats a hard and tough lesson to learn. its one more reason for us to not have kids with people we are not married to. you also cant be a bad husband while married and think just cause you are married and you are a good dad. that it makes you a great father. your kids see everything you do. if you act like an A.. to your wife. guess what your son will do to his mother growing up, and as well to women (even teachers), as well as women he deals with and his wife one day? he will most likely act like an A... just like you did.

again people are sponges, we soak up the info that is around us the most. whatever that is. it will make us into who we are.

That's exactly what I'm saying. Teaching classes and giving advice won't change a persons surroundings. But social/economic advancement will.