Hathaway
Someday, We'll All Be Free
We will have been married 5 years come November. Beautiful relationship. Kids. Healthy marriage. But throughout all of our pre-marriage counseling, I was not warned about the wars I'd have to endure over the thermostat. This is my wife. My Queen. I want her to be comfortable. I compromise a lot in this relationship and so does she. It is necessary for a successful marriage. However, I grew up in a home where my parents kept the temp between 63 and 65 degrees F.
The vent in my room at my parents house was ALWAYS closed. They kept it freezing in that house. I slept in a jacket throughout the Summer and they still kept it cool in the Winter like around 70.
So naturally, I like to keep my home warm. Not overbearingly hot but a modest warm temp 78-79 with no A/C on. Plus it saves money.
Last night, when everybody went to sleep, I stayed up to play my game. My wife turned the air on before she went to bed. Had it set to 75. I said cool. I put on my jacket and chilled for the next 3 hours until she was asleep then I turned it off like I always do. I don't like sleeping with the air on because we already keep our fan on in our room with the door closed, might I add. We get a good circulation of cool air throughout the night.
So last night, I'm playing my game, it's about 1am. My wife come out the bedroom door looking like this:
It was chilling seeing her standing in the doorway in pitch blackness staring at me with a cold, evil intent. She gazed at the thermostat in disbelief. It was at 81 degrees. She said "Coolest, it is 81 degrees in here in the middle of July. I AM HOT. How can you sit in here at 81 degrees and not be hot!?"
I said, the air has only been off for like an hour.
Her response:
I could see her agitation increasing. My wife gets very irritable when she's hungry and doubly so when she's hot and sleepy. I felt like I had sat in this freezing air for 3 hours and it was my turn to be comfortable. Give and take, right? Compromise right?
I was wrong.
Now, I understand that she is hot. I do not deny this. Each of our bodies interpret temperature differently. I do not think 80 degrees is hot. She disagrees. She does not think 75 degrees is cold. I disagree.
I allowed her to turn the air back on because one thing I've learned in my 5 years of marriage is to never allow a dispute, no matter how small, to fester without resolution. I put back on my jacket, zipped it up and continued my gaming. When I got ready for bed about 2 hours later, I turned the air back off
I pay the power bill, so I feel like I have more authority over the thermostat. That authority is challenged consistently, however. Therefore, I have no authority at all.
When I got up this morning, she said she woke up AGAIN at 4am to go and turn the air back on. We had a healthy little 7am "disagreement" and I conceded completely.
I knew this was a battle I could never win. Never. I told her that I hear and understand her grievances and I threw in her face "happy wife, happy life". This is a statement I always throw at her whenever I feel I am forced to compromise unnecessarily/unfairly and it gets under her skin.
Her response:
My points were made but it was all for naught. Keep your wife happy, no matter the cost. I have put my foot down on other issues, but this is one battle I lost. I am the sole casualty of this war. But my wife is satisfied. That's all that matters.
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