Okay, yeah I agree with this.
Heres the problem:
(I'm not gonna single you out for this by the way)
Talks about colorism within BM never end there.
They always go further.
It's never just "a lot of black men prefer lighter skin, and some put down darker skin black women, disappointingly."
It's "majority of black men prefer and date light skin women". And when brehs date non-lightskin BW, it's "she's has eurocentric features/not dark enough".
And when she is dark and has zero "euro features", some of those same people then call her ugly! Or nitpick the relationship and wish she was just with a white man anyway.
And they do this, while not all of them are even interested in BM. They be casually having a crush on non-BM.
So as a BM, you begin to think it's all just jealousy.
And as a BM, you realize that you can't win.
Because too many of the women that call out colorism (at least online), are insincere and just don't like BM period. Not all of them are doing it in good faith.
That's why brehs are resistant to acknowledging it and gaslight.
Ideally we'd acknowledge it as it pertains to our family, and not pedastilzie other women. But why bother engaging in it with a stranger who may not even like your kind?
Can you acknowledge that?
Are there some psycho, insecure women who are never satisfied? Sure. Absolutely. I can totally admit that.
And I don’t think it’s that they all don’t like BM. I think it’s a mix of a lot of them dealing with colorism (being mocked), being ignored by the BM they like, maybe being less attractive and dealing with that as a woman, etc.
But, despite that, there is truth in the experience darker girls have in this community. Ol boy expressed the preferences of a lot of men, especially younger men. I was simply saying “Thanks for saying what we feel”.
I’ve said before- I'm not bitter. I can speak about this from a different perspective because I’ve been one of those girls who got the “I usually only talk to light skin girls but…” or a dude checks to make sure he can see my veins, or ppl ask if I'm mixed with something if I wear my hair a certain way. I’ve had brehs say wild shyt to me because they are attracted to my facial features but not necessarily my skin color. It makes it very easy to spot out the men with complexion issues and move around them.
These are the weird experiences young black women have, but when you’re 15, 18, 22 you might not be able to fully verbalize your discomfort or understand the mentality of the person saying those things to you or how they make you feel about yourself, your complexion, and your part of the Black experience.
You have to fight the possible feeling of jealousy because there are other girls who are just like you, only lighter, and they have more potential suitors because they have lighter skin. You have to learn to have more discernment to avoid men who inherently think less of you because you’re darker, you learn to have greater appreciation for who you are and how you were made. You have to learn about the effects of white supremacy on our people and how it has affected beauty standards in our community, etc. Nevermind the fact that women regardless of race are judged based on looks so if you happen to be a woman considered less attractive you gotta deal with that as well and learn the importance of not basing your worth on looks a lot sooner than other girls (because that’s a lesson every woman learns as she officially becomes old).
And the real trick is you gotta learn all that shyt while you’re young and cute so you can actually pick a good dude before you’re considered old
Being a Black woman is an experience. Lol
But with all that- I know y’all have your unique experiences as Black men, too
color emoji. Everyone goes down a shade to a lighter one
