MILITARY STORIES

[Mr. Somebody]

my ex had got me a skyline but my roommate wrecked it during the tsunami storm a week later

breh i didnt know she was a yakuza bytch till after the bounty was on my head



yo that shyt made me broke as shyt always eating there then saying itadakimasu before hitting it up with chop sticks

this other place i ate out right outside the gate was served the best ever rice its like them chinese places u eat rices but just japanese my god it was so

What u do about that bounty?

 

[TheNig]

It's funny man, we did in the beginning. When we first got there we were hading out water and candy and shyt....on some superhero's here to save the day shyt. They always asked for pens, also.

Well, didn't take to too long to figure out they were selling the springs in the pens to IED makers, and would always try to pick-pocket us when we were giving out shyt. After about a month we just mean-mugged em and got them the fukk away from us.

dikk move, but it's a lose-lose situation, you know?

Yeah... I remember our MSgt telling us not to give them our pens. I didn't ask any question. I just made sure they didnt get my pens. We still did the candy and water tho.

 

[Ziggiy]

Yeah... I remember our MSgt telling us not to give them our pens. I didn't ask any question. I just made sure they didnt get my pens. We still did the candy and water tho.

I didnt give them little b*stards shyt. They were always throwing rocks and shyt.


Some of our local national workers though were cool. We used to give them sodas, eggs, and shyt like rice and tomatoes. We had a set up with the shop owner where we'd hook him up with food and he'd give us DVD's and phone cards for free, until he got greedy one day and tried to hustle us on some bullshyt. It was hot as fukk that day and me and my boy Calhoun (a crazy nikka from Florida) were hauling food back and forth. We'd been at it for a few hours, with NO help just the two of us, and this little frail ass shop keeper come talking about he want a carton of eggs.


Calhoun: you can't see we workin, fukk out of my face

Shop keeper: Are you serious??

Calhoun: YES MUTHAfukkA IM SERIOUS!!! GET THE fukk OUT M FACE AND NEXT TIME YOU COME IN HERE YOU BETTER BE BEARING GIFTS!! IM FROM THE HOOD nikka I DONT GIVE A FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!


Me:


Calhoun was crazy


Me and the Homie

 

[Smashius Clay]

At work, but I got a few good ones for y'all

 

[TheNig]

I didnt give them little b*stards shyt. They were always throwing rocks and shyt.


Some of our local national workers though were cool. We used to give them sodas, eggs, and shyt like rice and tomatoes. We had a set up with the shop owner where we'd hook him up with food and he'd give us DVD's and phone cards for free, until he got greedy one day and tried to hustle us on some bullshyt. It was hot as fukk that day and me and my boy Calhoun (a crazy nikka from Florida) were hauling food back and forth. We'd been at it for a few hours, with NO help just the two of us, and this little frail ass shop keeper come talking about he want a carton of eggs.


Calhoun: you can't see we workin, fukk out of my face

Shop keeper: Are you serious??

Calhoun: YES MUTHAfukkA IM SERIOUS!!! GET THE fukk OUT M FACE AND NEXT TIME YOU COME IN HERE YOU BETTER BE BEARING GIFTS!! IM FROM THE HOOD nikka I DONT GIVE A FUUUUUCCCCKKKKK!


Me:


Calhoun was crazy


Me and the Homie

Oh yeah... A lot of them muhfukkas were cool as shyt. It was these two from the Chow Hall in Al Asad that were certified fudge packers tho. They used to like my Puerto Rican homeboy. They used give him extra gravy on his biscuits and shyt like that.

 

[K-ZOE]

I never went overseas in my short 4 year army stint. A couple years ago tho I was taking a tour of a timeshare resort and dude escorting us turned out to be a veteran so we chopped it up about that most of the tour. He spent a lot of time in Iraq and those of yall that have been, tell me if this is true or not. He said when an Iraqi boy turns around 8 or 9, EVERY male member of his family has the right to rape him whenever they want as much as they want. It only stops when a younger, smaller member of the family comes of age and now he can get in on the raping. I was like but dude was dead serious.

 

[TheNig]

I never went overseas in my short 4 year army stint. A couple years ago tho I was taking a tour of a timeshare resort and dude escorting us turned out to be a veteran so we chopped it up about that most of the tour. He spent a lot of time in Iraq and those of yall that have been, tell me if this is true or not. He said when an Iraqi boy turns around 8 or 9, EVERY male member of his family has the right to rape him whenever they want as much as they want. It only stops when a younger, smaller member of the family comes of age and now he can get in on the raping. I was like but dude was dead serious.

Never heard no wild shyt like that but I do remember hearing stories about the men fukking goats and shyt.

 

[calixprynce]

Yeah he told me and plus I've researched it thoroughly and having a job that requires a clearance (which basically covers any job I'd be interested in) is a no go if you have any sort of drug charge. And I can't join the Air Force, Coast Guard, or Regular Army cuz of the charge too

So basically the only jobs open to me would be infantry or cook. So you think it's worth to get a crappy job as a part time national guardsman (and thus only getting part time pay/benefits)?

Damn breh , for a possession charge?! Was it felony or misdemeanor ? Cuz I really wanna do the Air Force but I got a possession charge , its a petty misdemeanor .

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

Tales from the Walter Reed AMC days...

First time I ever saw the results of roadside bombs...

So I'm in the hallway on the first floor walking and on the phone talking to my girlfriend and there's other soldiers coming in all busted up and stuff. So I get to the intersecting hallway near the pharmacy and I kid you not...
I'm not looking at people and trying to keep my convo quiet and secure when I notice there's this one 8-ft tall looking soldier out of the corner of my eye coming up on my right. I didn't look at them cause I just take in everything with my peripheral view first then focus.
So I'm walking past all the people lined up on the wall across from the pharm still looking down and I notice that there's a huge gap between the other people and the tall soldier.
So I start to look up and focus on that area just as I'm about 5-8 feet from this...guy.
He's wrapped in bandages with half a blown off arm, tubes everywhere, damage to his head and face and I kid you not...poor guy looked like Frankenstein!! Literally like someone blew him up and put him back together again...which is probably what happened...
Mangled body, mangled face...

As I walked past him I looked up at him with my eyes without moving my head and it's like time stopped.
He had been standing there the whole time...stiff as a statue...all 8 feet of him...with his eyes staring straight out across the hallway and when I walked past him...HIS EYES TURNED AND STARED AT ME!!

I almost shyt myself and everything in me was telling my legs to RUN MUFUGGA...but they kept moving regular!
I got past him and it was like coming out of the damn twilight zone.
Once I got around the corner my legs gave out and I just went down in front of the elevator like limp asparagus.

Nothin like that ever happened before and it ain't happened since....that first experience man...damn.

 

[K-ZOE]

Never heard no wild shyt like that but I do remember hearing stories about the men fukking goats and shyt.

Dude seemed kinda off. I think he definitely believed the shyt he was talking.

 

[TheNig]

Tales from the Walter Reed AMC days...

First time I ever saw the results of roadside bombs...

So I'm in the hallway on the first floor walking and on the phone talking to my girlfriend and there's other soldiers coming in all busted up and stuff. So I get to the intersecting hallway near the pharmacy and I kid you not...
I'm not looking at people and trying to keep my convo quiet and secure when I notice there's this one 8-ft tall looking soldier out of the corner of my eye coming up on my right. I didn't look at them cause I just take in everything with my peripheral view first then focus.
So I'm walking past all the people lined up on the wall across from the pharm still looking down and I notice that there's a huge gap between the other people and the tall soldier.
So I start to look up and focus on that area just as I'm about 5-8 feet from this...guy.
He's wrapped in bandages with half a blown off arm, tubes everywhere, damage to his head and face and I kid you not...poor guy looked like Frankenstein!! Literally like someone blew him up and put him back together again...which is probably what happened...
Mangled body, mangled face...

As I walked past him I looked up at him with my eyes without moving my head and it's like time stopped.
He had been standing there the whole time...stiff as a statue...all 8 feet of him...with his eyes staring straight out across the hallway and when I walked past him...HIS EYES TURNED AND STARED AT ME!!

I almost shyt myself and everything in me was telling my legs to RUN MUFUGGA...but they kept moving regular!
I got past him and it was like coming out of the damn twilight zone.
Once I got around the corner my legs gave out and I just went down in front of the elevator like limp asparagus.

Nothin like that ever happened before and it ain't happened since....that first experience man...damn.

I was a line corpsman so I've seen it all, Missing legs, missing arms. One time they pulled a dude thru the BAS with a blown off ear.

What was crazy about that was I remember seeing the dude and he looked like nothing was wrong with him except the blood on the side of his face.

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

I was a line corpsman so I've seen it all, Missing legs, missing arms. One time they pulled a dude thru the BAS with a blown off ear.

What was crazy about that was I remember seeing the dude and he looked like nothing was wrong with him except the blood on the side of his face.

I hear ya!
That was my first experience back in 2003. After I left the MDB and started working in the Clinics and in the Operating Wards I saw a lot worse...

 

[manning2nicks]

When i was in A.I.T, there was this shorty talking a lot of shyt about how she could throw it back. She seemed like the type to talk a good game but wasn't about that action. One night, i got woken up about 1:30 in the morning. My boy told me to go down stairs because shorty was in the mop room - I was good cause my boy was on fire guard and wasn't gonna snitch. i swear to god i never heard it so quite - im going downstairs thinking im about to get in right quick and go to bed. When I get all the way downstairs, i see a bunch of dudes literally lined up by the mop room and im like . every one pretty much waiting for their turn. had me like should i even bother?? I was like twenty years old and thirsty as hell...So i went in and got my smash on right quick and went back to bed. hit her with the sixty second assassin. I tell you what, the next day shorty wasn't even embarrassed about it, she was walking around like she just found the cure for cancer. I was the one ducking low cause I came like fedex and bust to quick! Shorties in the military are the most slutiest women on the planet. Used to get weekend passes and shorties would be the one planining the orgies at the motels! Got some good memories of Fort Jackson, South Carolina

 

[Maddmike]

I'm out here in BAF right now...pretty much sitting right out here compared to a couple of years ago.

 

[Behind-the-wheel]

Not even counting that, if you married to a civilian broad you gotta worry about her getting smutted out while you gone for 6 months or a year.

I was a marine stationed in San Diego and every time a carrier went out on a cruise you knew the e-club was gon be poppin full of WestPac widows(husbands on deployment). shyt was cool cause I was young and didn't give a fukk but looking back its sad that we was happy it was gon be some new ass at the club knowing they married. I have no idea how many wives I ran through out there.

You jody ass bamma...lol.