Essential Men of the Coli Reveal Yourself
- Thread starter innocentdevil
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Wait, so @Paz really is CoffeeTheSnowman or whatever dudes name was? And he's openly gay now?I'm not even tryin to be funny but did you just give up on the p*ssy pursuit? Or have you always known you were gay?
yeah, paz is topaz/trojanman/coffeethesnowman.
i was always gay just in deep denial where i was trying to make myself straight. you can pretty much say that me and the whole "p*ssy, girlfriend pursuit" that i was doing on sohh was me being in denial and trying to live the life of a heterosexual despite me feeling otherwise.
i started my mission to become a heterosexual and get rid of my homosexual feelings when i was 12 but i've always had them. i used to masturbate to guys and ladies as a kid but my romantic feelings were mostly towards guys as i had guy crushes as a child. when i realized that i might have been gay at 12, i got scared and tried to make myself 100% straight. the funny thing was that i would rant about how i couldn't get p*ssy, how i couldn't get a girlfriend and etc BUT there were more than enough times where i could have got laid or had a girlfriend if i wanted to. i'm talking about high school. i just wasn't interested nor was i attracted to them. i've tried many things to be attracted to women which one of them was "not masturbating" which i used to talk about on the forums thinking that it would reverse my brain chemistry into being attracted to females. sure, if i'll admit if a woman looks good and etc BUT i'm NOT interested in doing anything with them romantically and sexually. eventually after 12 years of internal fighting and losing the battle, i lost the war and decided to man up. yeah, i'm gay. it hurt a lot to even acknowledge that i was gay BUT it felt like a weight was lifted off of me where i could basically embrace myself instead of fighting and even going as far as to lie about my past and my childhood because i was ashamed of it. just because i came out to the closet to myself doesn't mean that i've completely changed my tune altogether where i've been listening to lady gaga, wearing tight clothes, acting effeminate and etc. i'm still the same dude before i came out. i've actually been a bit terrified to actually start to get my feet wet in terms of meeting other gay men such as dating. i have some internalized homophobia where i just get terrified whenever i step into a gay bar or am around other gay guys. i'm a bit scared because i've been made to believe that being gay is abnormal despite me being a gay guy myself. that's just my insecurities working. i do hope to one day be able to fully embrace myself where i can go about my life, date, have sex and live a normal productive life instead of being terrified about what others think of me or other gay people.
i remember when god tua said on sohh a post about how he grew up masturbating to guys and girls and how he went through the same thing. that really stuck a nerve to me because i realized that there were other people that experienced the same thing and were brave enough to speak up. so yeah, it is what it is.
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yeah, paz is topaz/trojanman/coffeethesnowman.
i was always gay just in deep denial where i was trying to make myself straight. you can pretty much say that me and the whole "p*ssy, girlfriend pursuit" that i was doing on sohh was me being in denial and trying to live the life of a heterosexual despite me feeling otherwise.
eventually after 12 years of internal fighting and losing the battle, i lost the war and decided to man up. yeah, i'm gay. it hurt a lot to even acknowledge that i was gay BUT it felt like a weight was lifted off of me where i could basically embrace myself instead of fighting and even going as far as to lie about my past and my childhood because i was ashamed of it.
i remember when god tua said on sohh a post about how he grew up masturbating to guys and girls and how he went through the same thing. that really stuck a nerve to me because i realized that there were other people that experienced the same thing and were brave enough to speak up. so yeah, it is what it is.
Im happy for you breh, good luck man
thanks, man. i'm really going to need it because even in the lgbt community, things are just as fukked up if not more fukked up than it is outside of it.
to be honest with you, sometimes, i wish i wasn't gay. it's really stressful especially coming out to others, let alone even acknowledging it on a personal level. it's like all the hopes of having a normal life like everyone else is just dead. the worst thing was basically knowing that i might never get a chance to be a father let alone have kids of my own or be able to give my mother a grandchild. i felt guilty coming out to her.
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Damn, now I kinda feel bad about all them times I called you a fakkit, good for you for mannin up to it, no good comes from denialyeah, paz is topaz/trojanman/coffeethesnowman.
i was always gay just in deep denial where i was trying to make myself straight. you can pretty much say that me and the whole "p*ssy, girlfriend pursuit" that i was doing on sohh was me being in denial and trying to live the life of a heterosexual despite me feeling otherwise.
eventually after 12 years of internal fighting and losing the battle, i lost the war and decided to man up. yeah, i'm gay. it hurt a lot to even acknowledge that i was gay BUT it felt like a weight was lifted off of me where i could basically embrace myself instead of fighting and even going as far as to lie about my past and my childhood because i was ashamed of it. just because i came out to the closet to myself doesn't mean that i've completely changed my tune altogether where i've been listening to lady gaga, wearing tight clothes, acting effeminate and etc. i'm still the same dude before i came out. i've actually been a bit terrified to actually start to get my feet wet in terms of meeting other gay men such as dating. i have some internalized homophobia where i just get terrified whenever i step into a gay bar or am around other gay guys. i'm a bit scared because i've been made to believe that being gay is abnormal despite me being a gay guy myself. that's just my insecurities working. i do hope to one day be able to fully embrace myself where i can go about my life, date, have sex and live a normal productive life instead of being terrified about what others think of me or other gay people.
i remember when god tua said on sohh a post about how he grew up masturbating to guys and girls and how he went through the same thing. that really stuck a nerve to me because i realized that there were other people that experienced the same thing and were brave enough to speak up. so yeah, it is what it is.
the worst part is you thought you had a chance before you came out the closet
there's a reason a girl never wanted anything to do with you when you were pretending to be straight, and fags want nothing to do with you while you're pretending to be a fakkit
They might as well throw that E.T lookin ass nikka in jail cause you know his lame ass gonna end up raping somebody out of frustration.
listen breh you gotta do what makes you happy man. Sometimes we worry too much about trying to fit in instead of just being ourselves. Just keep ya head up, and ya heart and mind clear. Everything will work out man and never say never. Hope it works out for you man
Don't lie to him.
Suicide is his only hope
