Meanwhile in Atlanta: The Thread

[The Intergalactic Koala]

Breh, did a Koala take your girl or something?

I'm telling yall, once the pouch comes out, the song comes on

 

[TELL ME YA CHEESIN FAM?]

That's a c00n, not a black man.

Stop posting dumb ass threads

 

[KillerB88]

Looks like he's wearing an Honor Society stole. At least he took care of his academics.

 

[Amsterdayumn]

Breh, did a Koala take your girl or something?



@International Koala , you got dudes writing hit pieces on you

It was a copy/paste from a copy/paste. Don't know the original source.

 

[Pete Wrigley]

Koalas are fukking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fukking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shyt and occasionally scream like fukking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fukking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fukking hate them.

Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.

This may be....this might be the greatest thing I've read on the Coli

Dapped, repped and bookmarked

 

[TEH]

Koalas are fukking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fukking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shyt and occasionally scream like fukking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fukking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fukking hate them.

Tldr; Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI riddled sex offenders. But, hey. They look cute. If you ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.

Coli zoologists are in here deep

hold this rep

 

[Stick Up Kid]

Stop posting dumb ass threads

No, fakkit

 

[Sex Luthor]

ya mammal

See! I was right. No class at all Talking about my mammal like that. Why don't you smoke some of that eucalyptus and calm down. Y'all are hella cute tho... No homo-sapien

 

[MJ Truth]

That's the only thing that made sense I guess. Even whoever was on the mic was telling them to calm down. It's extreme to arrest and charge him at his graduation. Now he's starting off in adult hood with a record.

That's what they want.

 

[The Solid One]

 

[R.E.N. Spells Ren]

Arrested him for inciting a riot that never occurred.

 

[Master Teacher]

They arrested him because a young black man isn't supposed to have 10k in cash to just throw around

all these hating ass c00ns can't help exposing themselves

 

[The Intergalactic Koala]

See! I was right. No class at all Talking about my mammal like that. Why don't you smoke some of that eucalyptus and calm down. Y'all are hella cute tho... No homo-sapien

Already lit breh

Surrounded by so much green, there's no red or yellow to stop or yield.

I'm over here bumping that Babyface thinking of a pouch rub:



Not even fazed by the Coli humans that bark from the trees but won't climb them bytches

 

[Atlanta 80s baby]

It was a hs graduation, like who the fukk remembers that remedial shyt. Anywho, somebody will have a nice dinner out of it through him so there's that.

 

[invalid]

How you in high school throwing 10k???