Marrying Your Peer, a Tougher Prospect for Black Women

[feelosofer]

Let's keep it funky as Black man, I must say to other brothers to please stop getting in your feelings about this, this is not propaganda and you know it. I am college educated and so are 2 of my children, but if my daughter wants to find a Black man at her level to marry she's not going to have as easy a time, it becomes even worse if she gets a masters or a doctorate. It's crazy how we wanna talk about out of wedlock birthrates and increased amounts of Black women marrying out but when we see such a damning stat on us, we wanna run up in our shells like turtles and cover our ears like this isn't the reality. Is there White Supremacy, yes. Are Black men targeted by the police, yes (so are women). But fact of the matter is Black male incarceration rates are down but college enrollment hasn't spiked up at the same rate. This is a cultural problem and until the numbers are closer to being even we are doomed as a people in America. Most American women have not been taught to date down and Black women have to compete with other Black women with less education so it's either fist fight for the few eligible brothers, date out, or become a cat lady.

 

[Elle Driver]

Keep up the good work breh!

We're far outnumbering our men and it will take a while to even the playing field. As it becomes more and more lopsided scores of women will have to eventually date down.

Date down in what sense?

 

[iceberg_is_on_fire]

Let's keep it funky as Black man, I must say to other brothers to please stop getting in your feelings about this, this is not propaganda and you know it. I am college educated and so are 2 of my children, but if my daughter wants to find a Black man at her level to marry she's not going to have as easy a time, it becomes even worse if she gets a masters or a doctorate. It's crazy how we wanna talk about out of wedlock birthrates and increased amounts of Black women marrying out but when we see such a damning stat on us, we wanna run up in our shells like turtles and cover our ears like this isn't the reality. Is there White Supremacy, yes. Are Black men targeted by the police, yes (so are women). But fact of the matter is Black male incarceration rates are down but college enrollment hasn't spiked up at the same rate. This is a cultural problem and until the numbers are closer to being even we are doomed as a people in America.

Truth to this but I'm down with us black men getting something on paper, saying that you have a bit of knowledge like trades or degrees or certs. I say this time and time again but a lot of our parents got on through manual labor at good paying manufacturing jobs. That is a large part of the previous generation's black middle class. For a lot of people, myself included for the longest of times, thought that I'd just follow in my parents footsteps and just ride out 30 years at the plant. My mom told me for years that I'd hate that and I wouldn't like it. Lo and behold, I get there with her, it fukking sucked. I went back to school, got my BBA, then my MBA and here I am now. With other races, there is a network established, but most importantly, the mindset. Don't be the worker, be the worker's boss. We have a generation of people who, based on what is perceived as good from our parents, artificially lowering their prospects and dreams so that they can be workers without any tangible on their belt except manual labor. I had my mom and pops telling me, go to school, but there wasn't any weight behind it because they weren't a product of that environment nor could I see what going to school really meant because I didn't personally know anyone that prospered off of the fruits of those types of labors. I saw my parents going to Vegas, Jamaica and Paris off of a Ford Motor Company income, why not follow that? This is where, and thankfully I did it at an early enough age, where I had to grow, to network, to read, to talk, to observe, but above all, to learn. The world was much bigger than my bubble previously consisted of. So, from that point, I needed to set logical goals. I didn't want to be in my 30's, a black man with kids, wife, mortgage and no realistic prospects as far as career. The world is real cold to that type of person. I just made a thread about putting in my two weeks at my current position today in Higher Learning, more humorous in tone there but I'm going to be serious here. I officially started looking for new jobs on July 31st, I placed the one that I'm getting hired to on August 5th, not a lot of turn around in regards to time. Why? I have skills, I have experience, I have education and my level of competition, are equally impressive, if not more, but there are few people that are realistically qualified for those jobs. There is also the background check stuff. To do what I do, I'm going to check out flawlessly every time. It isn't just one particular thing that points towards these types of statistics. However, with the sum of all parts, these are quite true statistics.

 

[feelosofer]

Truth to this but I'm down with us black men getting something on paper, saying that you have a bit of knowledge like trades or degrees or certs. I say this time and time again but a lot of our parents got on through manual labor at good paying manufacturing jobs. That is a large part of the previous generation's black middle class. For a lot of people, myself included for the longest of times, thought that I'd just follow in my parents footsteps and just ride out 30 years at the plant. My mom told me for years that I'd hate that and I wouldn't like it. Lo and behold, I get there with her, it fukking sucked. I went back to school, got my BBA, then my MBA and here I am now. With other races, there is a network established, but most importantly, the mindset. Don't be the worker, be the worker's boss. We have a generation of people who, based on what is perceived as good from our parents, artificially lowering their prospects and dreams so that they can be workers without any tangible on their belt except manual labor. I had my mom and pops telling me, go to school, but there wasn't any weight behind it because they weren't a product of that environment nor could I see what going to school really meant because I didn't personally know anyone that prospered off of the fruits of those types of labors. I saw my parents going to Vegas, Jamaica and Paris off of a Ford Motor Company income, why not follow that? This is where, and thankfully I did it at an early enough age, where I had to grow, to network, to read, to talk, to observe, but above all, to learn. The world was much bigger than my bubble previously consisted of. So, from that point, I needed to set logical goals. I didn't want to be in my 30's, a black man with kids, wife, mortgage and no realistic prospects as far as career. The world is real cold to that type of person. I just made a thread about putting in my two weeks at my current position today in Higher Learning, more humorous in tone there but I'm going to be serious here. I officially started looking for new jobs on July 31st, I placed the one that I'm getting hired to on August 5th, not a lot of turn around in regards to time. Why? I have skills, I have experience, I have education and my level of competition, are equally impressive, if not more, but there are few people that are realistically qualified for those jobs. There is also the background check stuff. To do what I do, I'm going to check out flawlessly every time. It isn't just one particular thing that points towards these types of statistics. However, with the sum of all parts, these are quite true statistics.

True and there are still viable trades out there but it's tough for brothers to get on because most of them unionize. My G-Pops worked at a soda can factory on the assembly line and was able to have a 3 family house raise 6 children and drive a Caddy's for 45 years but those days are over. I think that we need to teach the younger generation the importance of business ownership and more importantly picking up skills that can't be outsourced or substituted. I have been pushing for reform of career days at the local levels, and instead of doing things like selling insurance and the military, maybe doing short unpaid 3 week internships at local businesses, doing basic tasks but just seeing how businesses run. I launched the program and had a few high school seniors work at my office and it was a very positive experience. I know the feeling of starting from the bottom and I see the struggles of our people on a daily basis, but I think you got the right mindset and I wish you success.

 

[www.THUG.com]

Date down in what sense?

In the sense that the article is speaking about....dating someone who has a lower income & education level

 

[Elle Driver]

Truth to this but I'm down with us black men getting something on paper, saying that you have a bit of knowledge like trades or degrees or certs. I say this time and time again but a lot of our parents got on through manual labor at good paying manufacturing jobs. That is a large part of the previous generation's black middle class. For a lot of people, myself included for the longest of times, thought that I'd just follow in my parents footsteps and just ride out 30 years at the plant. My mom told me for years that I'd hate that and I wouldn't like it. Lo and behold, I get there with her, it fukking sucked. I went back to school, got my BBA, then my MBA and here I am now. With other races, there is a network established, but most importantly, the mindset. Don't be the worker, be the worker's boss. We have a generation of people who, based on what is perceived as good from our parents, artificially lowering their prospects and dreams so that they can be workers without any tangible on their belt except manual labor. I had my mom and pops telling me, go to school, but there wasn't any weight behind it because they weren't a product of that environment nor could I see what going to school really meant because I didn't personally know anyone that prospered off of the fruits of those types of labors. I saw my parents going to Vegas, Jamaica and Paris off of a Ford Motor Company income, why not follow that? This is where, and thankfully I did it at an early enough age, where I had to grow, to network, to read, to talk, to observe, but above all, to learn. The world was much bigger than my bubble previously consisted of. So, from that point, I needed to set logical goals. I didn't want to be in my 30's, a black man with kids, wife, mortgage and no realistic prospects as far as career. The world is real cold to that type of person. I just made a thread about putting in my two weeks at my current position today in Higher Learning, more humorous in tone there but I'm going to be serious here. I officially started looking for new jobs on July 31st, I placed the one that I'm getting hired to on August 5th, not a lot of turn around in regards to time. Why? I have skills, I have experience, I have education and my level of competition, are equally impressive, if not more, but there are few people that are realistically qualified for those jobs. There is also the background check stuff. To do what I do, I'm going to check out flawlessly every time. It isn't just one particular thing that points towards these types of statistics. However, with the sum of all parts, these are quite true statistics.

There's a reason, black Americans went from slavery to share cropping and especially for those in the south they'd send their girls or the smartest kid to school in hopes they'd make it to college and make something of themselves. That's what happened to my pops, even though his fam was part of the "free black" population they were still held back by share cropping which was basically another form of slavery. He went to school and graduated from college. He met my mother there, they were both activists. They pushed me to go to college as well, even pushed me to get a masters. Education is key to breaking these chains, whether they're certs or higher education it doesn't matter. It's gotta be something tangible. Props to you for being in higher ed.

 

[iceberg_is_on_fire]

True and there are still viable trades out there but it's tough for brothers to get on because most of them unionize. My G-Pops worked at a soda can factory on the assembly line and was able to have a 3 family house raise 6 children and drive a Caddy's for 45 years but those days are over. I think that we need to teach the younger generation the importance of business ownership and more importantly picking up skills that can't be outsourced or substituted. I have been pushing for reform of career days at the local levels, and instead of doing things like selling insurance and the military, maybe doing short unpaid 3 week internships at local businesses, doing basic tasks but just seeing how businesses run. I launched the program and had a few high school seniors work at my office and it was a very positive experience. I know the feeling of starting from the bottom and I see the struggles of our people on a daily basis, but I think you got the right mindset and I wish you success.

Same to you man!

I'm always reminded of this Kanye lyrics from Heard Em Say
Things we see on the screen that's not ours
But these nikkas from the hood so these dreams not far

Translation, they see people with their dreams being realized and they know that they are real people because you've seen them, touched them, talked to them, learned from them. In the beautiful case of what you are doing with the youth, they get to see first hand what a black man could be in this world. Additionally, they don't even have to stop and you or I, they could be greater, however, your work plants that seed and gets the ball rolling, you are opening eyes, that is the most important thing.

 

[FTBS]

There is no doubt in my mind that the numbers are true. There is also no doubt in my mind that the way we treat black men who seek higher education has something to do with it. Chris Rock said it 20 years ago, you get more love coming off doing a bid than you do after graduating. Obviously there is hyperbole there and it doesn't apply to every situation but it applies to far too many. I used to work at a juvenile facility and so many of those dudes tried to play down their intelligence. Had a few dudes that were all A students or close to it that turned to the street life because they weren't really getting any love for being a good student. Dudes that were straight up not about that street life at all, playing the part for some acceptance. That bothered me more than anything I have ever seen working with kids (outside of abuse of course). We gotta stop putting guys that strive for more and want to do better down. We gotta stop exalting, rewarding or making excuses/rationalizations for street life or ne'er do wells. That doesn't mean would should shun or judge or brothers in the streets, it just means we shouldn't shun or judge our brothers that want more.

 

[Kripplestyle]

Educated or not, still love my brehs

 

[Samori Toure]

This thread isn't going to be well received because its putting Black women in a positive light while shedding a negative light on our Black men. But, this is my reality. Its hard to come across a male who can match me education, salary and career wise. I know they are out there but its rare that we cross paths.

How does this article shed negative light on Black men? If anything it shows that that there are more Black women than Black men, which is something that everybody already knew. Yet Black women don't receive degrees in substantially greater numbers than Black men. Take a look at the numbers.
BlackDemographics.com | Educational Attainment

What is really funny about your statement and not in a funny way; is that Black men earn more money than Black women.
BlackDemographics.com | INCOME

In conclusion; maybe you just stuck up and you ain't all of that. Brothas in your sphere have probably figured you out and know that you fronting, so they don't want you.

 

[www.THUG.com]

How does this article shed negative light on Black men? If anything it shows that that there are more Black women than Black men, which is something that everybody already knew. Yet Black women don't receive degrees in substantially greater numbers than Black men. Take a look at the numbers.
BlackDemographics.com | Educational Attainment

What is really funny about your statement and not in a funny way; is that Black men earn more money than Black women.
BlackDemographics.com | INCOME

In conclusion; maybe you just stuck up and you ain't all of that. Brothas in your sphere have probably figured you out and know that you fronting, so they don't want you.

You read too far into my statement. The black males on this board despise any article or study which speaks positively of black women. Posters shyt on us as if we're a monolith so in turn when someone posts a thread of us in the positive, all hell breaks loose and we're still degraded. Similar to what you attempted to do.

 

[Samori Toure]

You read too far into my statement. The black males on this board despise any article or study which speaks positively of black women. Posters shyt on us as if we're a monolith so in turn when someone posts a thread of us in the positive, all hell breaks loose and we're still degraded. Similar to what you attempted to do.

I didn't attempt to degrade anybody. My point was that no one is above anyone. We are all in the same boat, but people are always to pretend like they are better than the next person in the boat.

 

[Savior]

My thing is....marry and date whoever the fukk u want to. But all this justifying and pulling up studies and shyt like you were pushed into a corner and had NO choice is what I cant get with. You like other races. Be honest with yourself. Stop acting like a damn victim

 

[www.THUG.com]

I didn't attempt to degrade anybody. My point was that no one is above anyone. We are all in the same boat, but people are always to pretend like they are better than the next person in the boat.

Regardless of what your point was the point of the article is that black women have a harder time of meeting their peer than other racial groups. Your point is invalid bc its not about being better than someone. It's about us having problems with meeting our equals.

 

[Firefly]

As someone who worked square jobs before working for self I've seen the resumes and applications come in. A Bachelors is damn near a high school diploma now.....Seen even folks with Masters struggle to get a foot in the door due to so much competition. And with alot being automated ya lil high school diploma, or I got my G.E.D, ain't even being considered for much of anything. Article could be propaganda but until we have a culture that emphasizes going and getting educated you can't complain about the game when you not even on the field, or even in the stadium for that matter.


Salutes to the brehs putting that lonely work in. I know what it feels like too, seeing a gang of black women out here in these industries competing then getting bumps while most of us scratching for survival blaming everything and everyone else except us. It's a game. You can complain all day about it and sit out. Or you can acknowledge it's a game and learn the rules and win. And there is a way to win............sorry I don't buy into defeatist "I can't do it or the system is rigged against me" bullshyt. Dogs I been in this shyt and experienced it all.......Cacs in they position using the gays,white women,black women etc and all that against you. shyt is rough so if you a little bytch boy you better off sitting in jail or somewhere easy because dealing with this real world shyt aint for the feint of heart and will break you down if you not tough,disciplined, educated AND ambitious. Just having the mindstate to put your head in the dirt after reading some shyt like this shows alot ain't built for outside like that........yo think this lil report wack? Ok try surviving around the atmospheres that created this.............sitting home on the porch or hustling, that's child shyt I see too many grown ass men doing. If the opportunity ain't where you at create it somewhere else. It's a big planet. I done seen dudes lose it all, and make it again. Ain't shyt impossible.