It turns me on when I get into heated arguments with men who are attractive. It is sooo sexy to me, idk why. This dude didnt wanna pay for my dessert cuz it was expensive ($30) so we ended up cussin eachother out and i slapped him on his neck while he was walking out. But then he texted the next day to my surprise talkin bout how he likes the way I challenge him. That made me smile. So I look forward to our next date so I can start some more shyt.
I feel really bad today because i think i did the unthinkable for no reason. I put my partner in jail a month ago for laying hands on me and i had him released only for him to cheat on me again with a hotel prostitute after he robbed a neighbor's house for drug money. He started back abusing drugs after i had him arrested for abusing me, but he actually had a right to because i had him locked up to sleep around with his best friend. Please understand i've been with my dude for 3 years, faithful and true, but after 2 1/2 of those years, i got tired, restless and horny, but i couldn't act out cause if i got caught i knew he would come after me and take my life, so i had him locked up...but he did catch me alone with a guy, but he didn't know the dude was just a decoy to piss him off so he would fukk around and hit me cause the guy i really wanted is his best friend who was an ex of mine who till this day i'm STILL fukking.
I only want to have boys. I don't like little girls. There are few little girls in my family but, I even avoid those few; avoid playing with them and everything. Part of it is negative childhood school experiences; my mind associates them as being inherently mean-spirited and inevitably problematic, especially little black girls; they just seem so mean and naturally snide without provocation. If I ever get pregnant and find out it's a girl, I'll probably get an abortion and try again.
I was approached by a man who was
in a serious relationship when I gave him my number he didn't mention a girlfriend but after a phone convo or 2 he decided to be honest. I was pretty disgusted so I told him
I wanted nothing to do with him he left me alone for a month or two then he pops back up. He stated he was still with ol girl but he left out one very important detail about the relationship.... they were now engaged I had to find out via facebook. I didn't even bring up the fact that I know he was engaged up I just told him I didn't wanna be in his little love triangle he didn't give a damn and kept contacting me. soon after
he got married and he finally told me, I congratulated him and let him know I really wasn't fooling with him especially now that he was someone's husband this man then began to chase me like he had never done before he offered me gifts and trips anything to get me to finally spend time with him. at some point
I finally took him up on an offer for a weekend get away...I don't know what I was thinking I had never given in to his advances but this particular time I just could past up the gifts and trip his was offering I knew if I went I would end up doing something I would regret forever and like a young, dumb idoit I did it anyway. The trip was really nice he treated me like a complete lady and was at my beck and call. We had amazing sex and an overall great time but although he treated me like a lady I felt like the scum of the fukking earth. He wife would call several times a day and I would feel like a complete whore as I sat there on mute while he pretended to be enjoying a weekend with his frats.... yet I would screw his brains out as soon as he would hang up. I feel disgusted with myself now. I am his friend on all the social media sites so I see pics of him and is beautiful family and gorgeous wife and I just could not be more disappointed in myself. I wont even pick up the phone for him now or text back. The deed is done now I know I cant go back but I just don't ever want anyone to find out I would be devastated if his wife found out I would never want to hurt her or their family. I was selfish that weekend and I don't want to ever disrespect myself or anyone else like that again. Now I pray for forgiveness and that he will get a clue and leave me alone. Go be a good man to your wife or do one better and be honest and let her know the kind of man you are before someone else does.