Elle Driver
Veteran
Because its the default.
Ladies how much control do you want your s/o to have?
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That may be true, but the same behavior shouldn't be getting a different label based solely on who's doing it.
Elle Driver
Veteran
What I mean is meekness is associated with women so its the default for men to be considered to be the one with control.
Don't you think such rigid standards are harmful to people who don't fit them? What are the people who don't fit that supposed to do? There are lots of guys out there who fit that description, and there's nothing wrong with them like many in this thread are trying to imply(not you
). They're not less manly, lapdogs, or pushovers.
Incorrect, if a man said what you just said he'd be labeled as wanting a lapdog as well. No one in a relationship should have that kind of control unless the partner is weak in that particular area.
Over all men like to control more and lead more because that's what men do. Just like women tend to want to nurture assist more.
But a man that doesn't want to make any kind of leadership choices or have final say over a household will always be questionable at best
its really in our blood. I'm not particular about many things at all. But the way you describe what you want in a man, just sounds like you want a push over or a yes man.
Don't you think such rigid standards are harmful to people who don't fit them? What are the people who don't fit that supposed to do? There are lots of guys out there who fit that description, and there's nothing wrong with them like many in this thread are trying to imply(not you
They aren't harmful imo, you know what you want out of a man and there are plenty of dudes out there that fall into that category. But all that extra you like, like looks(more so physically), hustle for money, and "leadership" seem to conflict directly with your personality.
Huh? Expand on this because I have no idea what you're talking about.
I disagree.Incorrect, if a man said what you just said he'd be labeled as wanting a lapdog as well. No one in a relationship should have that kind of control unless the partner is weak in that particular area.
Over all men like to control more and lead more because that's what men do. Just like women tend to want to nurture assist more.
But a man that doesn't want to make any kind of leadership choices or have final say over a household will always be questionable at best
Elle Driver
Veteran
Those roles don't fit everybody. My dad was laid back, my mom was alpha. I didn't like that. But its what worked for them. At the end of the day, roles also change with kids, time, money etc. It's not transparent.Don't you think such rigid standards are harmful to people who don't fit them? What are the people who don't fit that supposed to do? There are lots of guys out there who fit that description, and there's nothing wrong with them like many in this thread are trying to imply(not you
philmonroe
Superstar
You don't really got no purpose then unless your dude an accounting loser. Even then why wouldn't he just get an actual money person to handle that? LolI know right!I just need someone with money generating ideas. He starts all the businesses and I make sure we don't go bankrupt and pay our taxes. Together we could be a power team!
Having someone you trust with your money is important. Ask the hundreds of people that are broke who trusted their accountants.
philmonroe
Superstar
From what I see it just seems on avg chicks don't want the heavy decisions but IMO they don't want it because they are usually scarred of failure and the stuff that comes with it. They don't want that criticism so they push that off on the dude on this issue because women or anybody saying they don't want to lead and or have no views is bullshyt cats always have something to say.
philmonroe
Superstar
Yeah just as soon as I ask the hundreds that aren't broke trusting their accountants. It goes both ways so we are still back to square one if you pick wisely.
That's fine.
What I meant is usually a guy thats about being healthy , in shape, his money, and being a leader and protector. All that requires alot of discipline and control.. We/They/Us usually aren't going to fall into that category of letting his partner make the final choice just because she wants to be the one to do it... Its just not what we are use to doing. Add to the fact that we are men and it's just feels unnatural most the time.
But that's me speaking in general, I'm sure you can find someone that fits your standards, all I'm saying is the unicorn that your looking for... is probably unlikely.
i came in the thread hella offended, like how dare you post this in the salon
are these marriages, or bf/gf relationships? im not giving a boyfriend my check.
if i dont have to work and can stay home with the kids then of course im going to fall in line, because id actually be getting exactly what i want anyway.
are these marriages, or bf/gf relationships? im not giving a boyfriend my check.
if i dont have to work and can stay home with the kids then of course im going to fall in line, because id actually be getting exactly what i want anyway.