Ladies, How Can a Man Improve His Communication?

[EARFQUAKE]

Do you have a lot of "friends" or people you talk to?

I only talk to friends. I don't talk to people I'm casual with.

 

[StickStickly]

Great advice once again.

And these things you listed at the bottom I don't have issue with normally. It's the bolded that I don't quite comprehend.

If I love someone, and I care about someone, and they inform me of a situation that is making their life more difficult... do they have to explicitly say "I need your help" for me to want to try to find a solution?

Is it wrong for me to want to help?

I don't get it.

If i'm dating someone and she says to me "Babe i'm so stressed out, I have my paper for my masters due by midnight tomorrow, I have to help plan for my sister's babyshower, and I need to finish these pivot tables for work"

I'm not gonna say to her "There there baby. I'm here, I'm listening."

I'm going to say "What do you need me to do to help? I'm good at pivot tables, and i'm even better at editing papers. Send me whatever you need so I can alleviate your stress".

How am I supposed to react?

React to help ease the stress, not fix it. In your example, she already knows what she needs to do, it's just the fact that she feels overwhelmed and wants to feel acknowledged. People know how to fix their problems most of the time, they just don't want to be invisible. What she wants you to hear is that her anxiety is UP. It's good it ask her "how can I help", but maybe helping is grabbing her a cup of coffee, hugging her (physical touch reduces anxiety and increases endorphins").

 

[Dwolf]

I only talk to friends. I don't talk to people I'm casual with.

Oh. So would you say you have a lot of friends?

 

[EARFQUAKE]

Oh. So would you say you have a lot of friends?

fukk no, people are like money. The more you have, the more problems. I only put effort into a handful of people.

 

[Dwolf]

fukk no, people are like money. The more you have, the more problems. I only put effort into a handful of people.

my bad I was just asking

 

[EARFQUAKE]

my bad I was just asking

Lol I wasn't cursing at you, I was just emphasizing.

 

[FLYINHAWAIIAN]

Yep, people make things happen all day, everyday when they really want to. When there is no worth or value then that phone will not be ringing and notifications won't be alerting.
Why invest energy, attention, emotions and focus on someone who isn't even willingly & happily reciprocating...
Don't.

Learned that the hard way

 

[Lo-Co]

-Be present & engaged
-Actively listen
-Offer advice if asked (Men & Women differ in their purpose of communication in that men typically speak to get solutions, women speak to bond, relate & vent.)
-Follow-up (BONUS)

Randall Snitch

• Lo-Co
• Jan 5, 2017
• recess snitch snitchin

Snitch