Had to call my dad to tell him a belated happy birthday. Last year on this day we were supposed to go out to celebrate his birthday and his two years of life after almost dying from a bad heart. Obviously I was way too crushed to even make our appointment because of Kobe’s death.
FaceTiming with him just now was very cathartic because it let me celebrate my dad’s life and also reflect on the importance of not taking people in your life for granted. You always assume people will be there but they can go in an instant. I even had Covid a few weeks ago and was freakin out that I might not make it after all the weed I smoked. I got through, but this whole year from this date til now has been just as much a meditation on life as it is a horror show.
I don’t wanna say that I took Kobe for granted because I think that’s harsh. But it just felt like he’d always be there. Just like how I assumed my dad would always be around. Even now, I think the only way I was able to somewhat cope is because Kobe was already a very private individual that didn’t make much appearances so it feels like he’s still alive but hiding away in Newport Beach doing some amazing shyt. But I know that ain’t true, so this won’t ever sit right with me. Understood, life is impermanent and you have to know how and have the love to let go of things. But this won’t ever sit right with me. RIP to everyone on board that doomed flight. I thought Kobe would be like a mix of Kareem and Magic in his older years, not a modern day Roberto Clemente. Smh