But, through 32 years of marriage, I understand now that there will be some mistakes.
Exactly, and thats true for ANY ltr, whether you're siblings, parent- child, or even just good friends.
Explain where the mindset of "Long-term relationship or marriage with a BM = toxicity and abuse" comes from.
Idk if majority of BM were straight up abusing women like that. Was wondering if you hear this from friends and why u think that is.
Not irl, but, tbf, i choose friends partly based on how they manage their personal relationships. Irrational ppl are irrational with
everybody, not just romantic partners, and i don't like them around me.
But i have been told that
my relationship is toxic and/ or abusive by women online.
Edit: I wonder if we're playing fast and loose with terminology here. I dont think its particularly toxic or abusive to cheat. Im not sure our ancestors would have characterized it like that either. I think it's a shytty thing to do and an abuse of power, but if you that mad, leave.
As a corollary, I find it odd that whenever we talk about traditional marriage in the black community, we're told that it never existed bc black women always had to work outside the home, but when you talk about abuse, our foremothers are all of a sudden totally and completely dependent on their husbands. Which one is it?
My maternal grandfather had an outside kid, his business centered around Harlem nightlife, shyt happens. My grandmother never even acknowledged the situation. I wonder if the wife of the hvm my mother dealt with for decades feels abused by his nice pension, insurance policies, and posh manhattan condo.
As one trained as a historian, i just want to caution us against throwing anachronistic sauce on shyt.
That was tough. She's clearly dealing with trauma.
